if they did there would only be [url="http://newsthump.com/2011/12/12/simon-cowell-wins-x-factor-for-record-8th-time/"]one winner [/url]
[color=#808080][b]Simon Cowell shocked morons everywhere last night by dramatically securing his tenth successive victory in ITV’s X Factor.[/b][/color]
[color=#808080]The victory has come as a shock to millions of people who appear to have no idea what they are watching, and who for some unfathomable reason seemed to think victory belonged to a female singer called ‘Sam Bailey’.[/color]
[color=#808080]Cowell told reporters after the win, “This is just like winning the lottery. Again. For the tenth year running.”[/color]
[color=#808080]“People said it was impossible to win it all over again, but then I pointed them to a format that I completely own, and my record company that now owns all of the acts on the show, and then they have to admit it looks a lot like ‘winning’.”[/color]
[color=#808080]“I’m simply overjoyed, and I can’t thank the fans enough for believing in this money making charade disguised as a talent show. Without them I would be significantly poorer.”[/color]
[color=#808080]“Sam is quite pleased as well, and will be until she realises how little she actually stands to make from all this.”[/color]
[b] [color=#808080]Cowell wins X Factor[/color][/b]
[color=#808080]Experts have said that this latest victory yet again illustrates Cowell’s incredible natural gift for extracting money from simpletons.[/color]
[color=#808080]Music industry analyst Simon Williams told us, “He’s like a force of nature, and fully deserves this tenth successive win.”[/color]
[color=#808080]“Never before have we seen anyone so incredibly talented when it comes to turning the feeble-minded majority into cold hard cash.”[/color]
[color=#808080]“To be honest, I don’t see how anyone will ever beat him.”[/color]