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In need of a break, but afraid to take it


EddiePlaysBass
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About two months ago, the band leader of my pop cover band announced to the band that one of the lead singers had decided to quit the band, and take a break from music in general. I'd seen it coming (if you've been in the game for a while, you tend to notice certain signals I guess) so I was not surprised at the news.

What did surprise me, was that I found myself being envious of the singer's decision. I contemplated it for a while, and realized that I am not happy in this band, but mainly stayed cos the two lead vocalists' voices blend well together and they made for a nice, different sound. With one element gone, my main reason for staying also disappeared.

So I told the band I will play the remaining three shows (and help audition a replacement singer) and I'll be done with them after that, too. What I intended to do is take a break from playing in bands, and finally focus on learning the songs I always wanted to but never got around to (loads of funk, soul and '70s hard rock) because I was busy playing in rockabilly, blues and pop bands. Aside from that, I wanted to take the time to really work with the bass instruction books I have: dig into theory, harmony, walking bass, slap techniques, upright bass ... All the things I can fake now, but only to a limited degree.

But rather than sit out my remaining few months with the current band and then get started on my "band break" and start studying, I started looking at the ads. Guess old habits are hard to break? So now I have an audition for a band not too dissimilar to the one I am walking out of; a possible collaboration with a lead guitarist to start a grunge cover band (something I've been wanting to do for 3 years) and I just got a FB message from a blues guitarist I know, asking if I wanna come jam with him for this new project he's starting.

I've done the multiple band thing and didn't like it. So ultimately it'd be one of the three and not all three. But I really wanted a break from bands, didn't I? Well, then I spoke with a fellow bass player. She said: "I find it very hard to even WANT to be in a band anymore. I just got so used to the extra free time, that it's become a bit of a nuisance to even think of being in a band." And that scares me sh*tless ... The idea that what starts as an innocent idea ("Take a few months of, brush up on what I need to brush up and get going again) will turn into a "Yeah I used to play in bands until my early 30's" kind of anecdote.

I discussed this with the singer of my old band just now, and he said: "Go with your gut feeling. And if you never come back to playing in bands again, it simply wasn't meant to be." Of course, he went on to greater things (2 cd's and a DVD, and touring all over Europe) since our band broke up. Ironically I wanted to take this very same break then, too, but ended up checking the ads and joining the band which I will quit come November. Confused? Yeah, me too. But there's definitely a pattern ...

Any thoughts?

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I had enough, so I stopped for 14 years. Then I came back. It happens to a lot of muso's I think.

Whatever you decide to do right now isn't a forever thing, it's a now thing. You can change it any time you want.

Good luck

Les

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Seems to happen a lot with musicians.

Set yourself a target date for your break and for the things you want to learn. Assess the situation at the target date. You'll either feel rested and ready to go back into the fray or you may want some more time.

If your mind is set on a break clearly you feel you need it.

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A break can be a good thing..... but mine was driven by the fact that I was asking myself why I was on that gig too often.
When I came back, I realised how much I had been coasting and was far more refreshed and enthused.

I am very careful not to let myself get run down like that again.. so now, I have quite a picky list of things I'll agree to do...

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[quote name='BurritoBass' timestamp='1408919386' post='2534653']
I stopped for 4yrs which was right at the time. Starting up again has been twice the fun. Go with your gut feeling.
[/quote]

Same for me. I`d got sick of being in bands "trying to make it" so stopped. Since then have been in bands purely for enjoyment and it`s been far better.

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I stopped for 10 plus years, started playing again got a real bad case off gas
changed all the gear bar the 69
but now a couple of years in feel better in myself
and find it a little more difficult to do things that I took for granted before
but loving it just as much and having fun

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