[quote name='Dandelion' timestamp='1465775849' post='3070938']
But then should I stay with them. I really am in too minds. Can't sleep.
[/quote]
I think that has to be regarded as an occupational hazard if music is your occupation (paid or unpaid).
Me? I'd make every effort to honour the band's commitments but make no further ones. It's honest, up-front and if it is taken badly, your mates are not quite up to scratch in terms of mutual respect.
Good luck either way but if you have the time maybe an overlapping commitment may work for all concerned, just until you decide where you want to lay your hat, be it an ass-hat or flat-cap or any other choice in headgear.