Happy Jack

The advert pretty much shrieks exclusivity (so don't apply if you're in any other bands), obsession (two rehearsals a week, plus studio time), and lack of gigs (no bass player for four months? really?). For the right person this will probably be a great step forward and hopefully a happy ending. But it may take a long time for that person to emerge.

You'll soon get used to the way that you can't walk past it without pausing to pluck the E string ...

Oh Denis ...

Ah yes ... of course I'd also need to buy a MacBook. Outstanding. I've hated Apple kit for over 30 years. Can't see that changing any time soon.

See if you can work this lot out: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ovation-Ovation-Magnum-Bass-70S-USED-with-hard-case/183219362223?hash=item2aa8b999af:g:gMAAAOSwV9ha9GyZ https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ovation-Ovation-Magnum-Bass-70S-used-used-bass-606/112975680992?hash=item1a4de015e0:g:ySoAAOSwugha7C9f https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ovation-Magnum-Bass-Vintage-Natural-Electric-Jazz-Bass-Guitar-4-String-with-HC/163028460077?hash=item25f540e22d:g:a18AAOSw1LRa6XTD https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ovation-Ovation-Magnum-Bass-Used-Electric-Bass-FREE-Shipping/173337666871?hash=item285bbae537:g:0aAAAOSwUP5a4xfr https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ovation-Ovation-Magnum-Bass-70S-USED-with-hard-case/183244915029?hash=item2aaa3f8155:g:24gAAOSwEARbCiFl So that's quite clearly the same bass, appearing simultaneously in five different eBay adverts from five different eBay accounts, all of them listed at utterly ludicrous prices. No, me neither.

I would almost put that forward to The Junkyard Dogs just to see the looks on their faces ...

For me, then, the problem is the signal path. Player --> Roli --> Laptop --> Interface --> PA, instead of Player --> Keyboard --> Combo. Old-school involves plugging in a power cord and an instrument cable. Sooper-dooper new-school involves plugging together three pieces of kit before you get to the PA, each connection using a different cable type, and every stage offering loads of extra ways to get the settings & interfaces wrong, plus the added benefit of relying on downloaded software and patches to make any sound at all. What could possibly go wrong? To be clear, I love the idea of these things and I've seriously contemplated buying one, but the realities of using one in a live band situation look pretty nightmarish to me. If I was in a touring band with tech guys and roadies then fine, but at the Dog & Duck? Not for me, Clive ...

How do you use these things in a live-on-stage, band situation? Presumably you can't simply run a 1/4" jack-to-jack or XLR cable into your PA, so you do you run this into a laptop, have a bunch of sounds stored on the hard disk, and then run from the laptop into the PA? Please tell me that 5-pin DIN plugs are not involved anywhere in the process ...

Actually it was a brand new Encore ...

So that's 17 people who are interested in attending this event. So long as someone (else) organises it. And chooses which town to hold it in. And sets a date which doesn't clash with everyone's diary. What could possibly go wrong?

The band were on their last legs in 1972 and about to implode, when the News Of The World published an exposee about the band and groupies. The ensuing publicity pushed the failing band back into the spotlight and resulted in their success with this single which was pretty much their last real hit. It also explains the line during the playout at the end which goes: "read the Sunday papers" ...

I had quite forgotten what a great track that is.

I've lost count of the number of bands I've rehearsed with or auditioned for at that place. Scuzzy as it was, I'll miss it.

Playing bass for Trevor Horn ... no pressure, then.

I rather like this actually. https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ashbory-type-bass-guitar-with-a-difference/173334881188?hash=item285b9063a4:g:hUEAAOSwwwRa7DTk But I'm really not convinced by the nut.

... when you can talk about the case? https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Jack-Casady-Signature-Epiphone-Bass-Guitar-Metallic-Goldtop-WITH-CASE/132628599106?hash=item1ee147d142:g:yDAAAOSwT4Za8IJl

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/UNIQUE-HANDBUILT-BASS-GUITAR-IN-GOLD-MIRROR-WITH-1-HUMBUCKER-SEE-DESCRIPTION/112976729155?hash=item1a4df01443:g:2p0AAOSwLXpa0dEW

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Prometeus-Ahab-fullscale-bass-luthier-made-in-Italy-superb/292470856663?hash=item44189f1bd7:g:RyYAAOSwN5Vam91G

Why thank'ee, thank'ee kindly fer the kind words, gents. The bass is part of my obsession with Mike Lull's work, in this case an incredibly light 54 P.

Given that this conversation started in January 2017, and we have yet to decide even which town to hold it in, let along which date, am I alone in wondering whether this is an actual thing?

During the gig I was so distracted by what was happening to my left that I wasn't really focused on the drumming. It was only when I watched Silvie's footage that I appreciated quite how good Roy is.

Fleet (Hampshire) A bit of a departure, this one. Week #1 DDD is the singer who wants to put together an Elvis Presley / Buddy Holly band. Now I've been here before, and I know (from bitter experience) that you can't put together the band and then look for Elvis ... a bit cart-before-the-horse that way. So here I am with the Elvis I need, he already has a drummer, I play bass, all we need is a guitarist, how difficult can this be? DDD says "let's catch up after Easter". I ask him for some YouTube of his own performance. Week #2 DDD sends me YouTube links of him fronting a serious holiday-camp-style 60s tribute act, full matching silver suits, the whole thang. There's not much of it, but he can certainly sing. He can't find a guitarist, do I know anyone? The email ping-pong continues, I suggest we meet face-to-face and have a chat over a beer, maybe even jam through some of the proposed material. Week #3 DDD wants to hook up but can't do so for a week or two. He starts copying the drummer on the emails. Have I found a guitarist yet? I'm currently chasing FIVE of the buggers. Week #4 DDD circulates a short list of a dozen songs, six each by Elvis and Buddy. I've found just one guitarist who seems to be up for this. We all agree to meet the following Friday. Week #5 My guitarist is up for it, but needs another week to prepare. Week #6 My guitarist is no longer my guitarist. He's decided to stick to bedroom widdling. At least he has a more realistic view of his abilities than most guitarists I've met. Week #7 DDD says he will try again to find a guitarist. I make supportive noises whilst quietly thinking "Game Over, move to radio silence". Week #10 (yes, 10) Things get surreal. DDD emails out of the blue - would I be interested in playing a charity gig on Sunday during the BH weekend? My reply was, and I quote: Deano can apparently bring in both a guitarist and a keyboard player. It's a MacMillans Cancer support gig at a big pub in Fleet. That's all I know. There's nothing on the Web about it and the pub is closed for refurbishment. Several days of email ping-pong follow between the three of us regarding whether or not there will be a PA, will there even be microphones, is back line provided, etc. What could possibly go wrong? Halfway through, Deano adds a fourth person to the email trail - who he? Is he a guitarist? Is he a keyboards player? Week #11 Silvie and I drive down to Fleet. We're taking no chances ... we've left the van fully loaded from Friday night's gig, with complete PA, bass rig, etc. in case we turn up to find a child's karaoke set being used as the PA. And yes, I've seen it done. At the venue we are greeted by the sound of very loud, very live music. There's a large beer garden alongside the car park, a very serious PA is in use complete with proper sound engineer, and the band before us are a professional functions band. Hmmmmmm. Whatever next. I meet the others for the first time. Deano and Roy (the drummer) are relaxed, the 'guitarist' is laid back to the point of limbo-dancing under toilet doors. I say "You're the guitarist, right?" and he replies "Actually I'm a bass player who dabbles in guitar". Oh dear. I ask him if he's worked through the set list. He says he looked at it briefly last night. "But what about the key changes and so on?", I ask him. "What key changes?", he says. Oh dear, oh dear. "Are you going to be OK?", I ask him. "I'll be fine" he says, "I can play anything, and I play harmonica too, and of course I'll sing a few of these. If I'm in doubt, I'll just copy what the other guitarist does". Oh dearie dearie me. We set up on stage and - inevitably - the layout requires me to stand between the two guitarists. In the event it probably doesn't matter, since the sound guy turns down the guitarist as soon as he hears him play. So, how did my audition go? Judge for yourselves - here's the edited highlights with all the cockups skilfully and surgically removed:

Is you is or is you ain't ma baby?

Was it the Mescaline, do you think?

Don't know where it's going, but I know where I'd like it to end up ...