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Looking for feedback


Rikki1984
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Hi

This is my attempt at Daft Punkish song. I recently got a midi keyboard and have probably got a bit carried away!

Here's the 'updated version'

https://soundcloud.com/rikki-boyes/dreamers

I'd love to hear some constructive criticism.

Thanks

Edited by Rikki1984
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Thanks for your those comments Bassbus. I'd never used arpeggiators before - they are ALOT of fun!

Having listened to the song back I see what your saying, Tom. I've kind of mixed the drums a bit to far back for this genre. The bass drum definitely could do with more volume.

If anyone has any more comments I'd really appreciate it. I'm still not sure how well the middle 8 section fits in?

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[quote name='Rikki1984' timestamp='1443730645' post='2877321']...
I'd love to hear some constructive criticism...
[/quote]

Nicely 'layered' build-up; I agree that the drums could be a bit more present, but not too brash just the same. I'd put a bit more 'busyness' in the hi-hat, though, to give a bit more 'pace' and 'lift' underneath (disclaimer: I'm a drummer...). You lost me in the 'middle-eight', I'm afraid; I thought it went too far off track, for no useful purpose, and I would have liked to have felt a build-up of pressure towards the end, to maintain interest.
Neat, clean production, in the 'Popcorn' category. No, I wouldn't buy it, and I'd switch it off on the radio, but I'm far from the target audience for the genre. The better it is for this style, the less I'd like it, so take that as a compliment, please..!
In general, good work, but reservations on the 'middle-eight'. Well done; post more, please..?

Edited by Dad3353
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[quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1443826861' post='2878084']


Nicely 'layered' build-up; I agree that the drums could be a bit more present, but not too brash just the same. I'd put a bit more 'busyness' in the hi-hat, though, to give a bit more 'pace' and 'lift' underneath (disclaimer: I'm a drummer...). You lost me in the 'middle-eight', I'm afraid; I thought it went too far off track, for no useful purpose, and I would have liked to have felt a build-up of pressure towards the end, to maintain interest.
Neat, clean production, in the 'Popcorn' category. No, I wouldn't buy it, and I'd switch it off on the radio, but I'm far from the target audience for the genre. The better it is for this style, the less I'd like it, so take that as a compliment, please..!
In general, good work, but reservations on the 'middle-eight'. Well done; post more, please..?
[/quote]

Funnily enough this isn't a a style of music I listen too much either (I do think Daft Punk are great though).
When I write it's usually rock/funk/blues and the occasional ballad. The main reason I've posted this here is that it's a departure for me, plus it's the first time I've actually made an effort to mix a song with individual eqs/comps on each track.

I agree with virtually everything you say. The song is still a work in progress at the moment and the drums definitely could do with more intricaty.
The middle eight does seem to come out of nowhere. I've actually already made some changes to that. I was also thinking that the last section could use something to bring the song to a climax, maybe a synth melody and a few more dynamics?

Thanks for the feedback - it really is appreciated!

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[quote name='Rikki1984' timestamp='1443811648' post='2877965']
Thanks for your those comments Bassbus. I'd never used arpeggiators before - they are ALOT of fun!

Having listened to the song back I see what your saying, Tom. I've kind of mixed the drums a bit to far back for this genre. The bass drum definitely could do with more volume.

If anyone has any more comments I'd really appreciate it. I'm still not sure how well the middle 8 section fits in?
[/quote]

Nice job. Can't add a lot, except the change in sound at 2.00 (is that the middle 8?) didn't really work for me.

Maybe that's just me?

Maybe a funk-bass solo would blend in better with the pop-corn.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi I've finally found some time to have another go at this one.

The middle 8 is completely different and there are several changes to the last third. Drums are mixed a bit higher too.

Most of the changes are from 1.50 onwards in case you don't want to listen to the entire thing! :-)

Listen to Dreamers by Rikki Boyes #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/rikki-boyes/dreamers

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Im a beginner so take my words with a grain of salt but I do like this tune a lot until 0:30 after that it sounds great but not my cup of tea taste-wise so cant really say anything.

The guitar part sounds great! Bass sounds great too!
Drum and Bass sound best in the first take even though drums are a bit thin sounding there, but important is that the drums give space to the groovy bass. In the new takes the drums (to my ear) are fighting the bass for the space, it seem as the drums fight for the low end space and the drum volume is too high for my taste, I would much prefer the bass to lead the groove and have drums just for the flavor a bit screwed down and maybe even take away some of the low end (if possible) but not as much as in the first take which was on the thin side.

Subscribed for you future sonic endeavors :)

Of course all this can be due to my headphones too so ...

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I'm liking this a lot. I you wanted some suggestions, they wouldn't be about changing what you have, there might be little things you could tweak but it grooves very nicely. I'd be thinking about getting some vox on top of that, and playing with ideas for something to go into, so it was a but more verse / chorus - but that's just me, there's loads of directions you could take it in.

Nice.

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Thanks Adam - I'm glad you liked it.
I see what you mean about having vocals over the top and your probably right. Problem is I can't sing (at all!) - hence why I hid my singing behind a repeated vocoder phrase!

Something I forgot to ask earlier is a couple of people described this genre as 'popcorn' but I haven't heard of that genre before? What is it?

Thanks

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