Rikki1984 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) Hi This is my attempt at Daft Punkish song. I recently got a midi keyboard and have probably got a bit carried away! Here's the 'updated version' https://soundcloud.com/rikki-boyes/dreamers I'd love to hear some constructive criticism. Thanks Edited October 22, 2015 by Rikki1984 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassBus Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 It's really difficult to criticise something as good as that. I can't hear anything I'd change in it. Good job. I like all the arpegiator stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom5string Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Congrats, cool playing. For this kind of music the drums are mixed a bit too much to the background. I`d rather emphasize at least BD and SN to have that "BOOM ---- GASH --- BOOM ---- GASH" thing .... Cheers, Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikki1984 Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Thanks for your those comments Bassbus. I'd never used arpeggiators before - they are ALOT of fun! Having listened to the song back I see what your saying, Tom. I've kind of mixed the drums a bit to far back for this genre. The bass drum definitely could do with more volume. If anyone has any more comments I'd really appreciate it. I'm still not sure how well the middle 8 section fits in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timhiggins Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Yes great stuff nicely done ,i think i am in agreement with Tom regarding drums but for me they only need to come up a touch Tim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 (edited) [quote name='Rikki1984' timestamp='1443730645' post='2877321']... I'd love to hear some constructive criticism... [/quote] Nicely 'layered' build-up; I agree that the drums could be a bit more present, but not too brash just the same. I'd put a bit more 'busyness' in the hi-hat, though, to give a bit more 'pace' and 'lift' underneath (disclaimer: I'm a drummer...). You lost me in the 'middle-eight', I'm afraid; I thought it went too far off track, for no useful purpose, and I would have liked to have felt a build-up of pressure towards the end, to maintain interest. Neat, clean production, in the 'Popcorn' category. No, I wouldn't buy it, and I'd switch it off on the radio, but I'm far from the target audience for the genre. The better it is for this style, the less I'd like it, so take that as a compliment, please..! In general, good work, but reservations on the 'middle-eight'. Well done; post more, please..? Edited October 2, 2015 by Dad3353 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikki1984 Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 [quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1443826861' post='2878084'] Nicely 'layered' build-up; I agree that the drums could be a bit more present, but not too brash just the same. I'd put a bit more 'busyness' in the hi-hat, though, to give a bit more 'pace' and 'lift' underneath (disclaimer: I'm a drummer...). You lost me in the 'middle-eight', I'm afraid; I thought it went too far off track, for no useful purpose, and I would have liked to have felt a build-up of pressure towards the end, to maintain interest. Neat, clean production, in the 'Popcorn' category. No, I wouldn't buy it, and I'd switch it off on the radio, but I'm far from the target audience for the genre. The better it is for this style, the less I'd like it, so take that as a compliment, please..! In general, good work, but reservations on the 'middle-eight'. Well done; post more, please..? [/quote] Funnily enough this isn't a a style of music I listen too much either (I do think Daft Punk are great though). When I write it's usually rock/funk/blues and the occasional ballad. The main reason I've posted this here is that it's a departure for me, plus it's the first time I've actually made an effort to mix a song with individual eqs/comps on each track. I agree with virtually everything you say. The song is still a work in progress at the moment and the drums definitely could do with more intricaty. The middle eight does seem to come out of nowhere. I've actually already made some changes to that. I was also thinking that the last section could use something to bring the song to a climax, maybe a synth melody and a few more dynamics? Thanks for the feedback - it really is appreciated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 [sharedmedia=core:attachments:167485] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grangur Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 [quote name='Rikki1984' timestamp='1443811648' post='2877965'] Thanks for your those comments Bassbus. I'd never used arpeggiators before - they are ALOT of fun! Having listened to the song back I see what your saying, Tom. I've kind of mixed the drums a bit to far back for this genre. The bass drum definitely could do with more volume. If anyone has any more comments I'd really appreciate it. I'm still not sure how well the middle 8 section fits in? [/quote] Nice job. Can't add a lot, except the change in sound at 2.00 (is that the middle 8?) didn't really work for me. Maybe that's just me? Maybe a funk-bass solo would blend in better with the pop-corn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikki1984 Posted October 18, 2015 Author Share Posted October 18, 2015 Hi I've finally found some time to have another go at this one. The middle 8 is completely different and there are several changes to the last third. Drums are mixed a bit higher too. Most of the changes are from 1.50 onwards in case you don't want to listen to the entire thing! :-) Listen to Dreamers by Rikki Boyes #np on #SoundCloud https://soundcloud.com/rikki-boyes/dreamers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alyctes Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Definitely better, to my ear (though this isn't my genre). The drums are better for being louder. The middle eight is better but still sounds rather disjointed to me. I like the last third, a definite improvement, to my ear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Che Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Im a beginner so take my words with a grain of salt but I do like this tune a lot until 0:30 after that it sounds great but not my cup of tea taste-wise so cant really say anything. The guitar part sounds great! Bass sounds great too! Drum and Bass sound best in the first take even though drums are a bit thin sounding there, but important is that the drums give space to the groovy bass. In the new takes the drums (to my ear) are fighting the bass for the space, it seem as the drums fight for the low end space and the drum volume is too high for my taste, I would much prefer the bass to lead the groove and have drums just for the flavor a bit screwed down and maybe even take away some of the low end (if possible) but not as much as in the first take which was on the thin side. Subscribed for you future sonic endeavors Of course all this can be due to my headphones too so ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikki1984 Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 Thanks for the comments and taking the time to listen! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamg67 Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 I'm liking this a lot. I you wanted some suggestions, they wouldn't be about changing what you have, there might be little things you could tweak but it grooves very nicely. I'd be thinking about getting some vox on top of that, and playing with ideas for something to go into, so it was a but more verse / chorus - but that's just me, there's loads of directions you could take it in. Nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rikki1984 Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 Thanks Adam - I'm glad you liked it. I see what you mean about having vocals over the top and your probably right. Problem is I can't sing (at all!) - hence why I hid my singing behind a repeated vocoder phrase! Something I forgot to ask earlier is a couple of people described this genre as 'popcorn' but I haven't heard of that genre before? What is it? Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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