Drummers.
Rule 1. Right kit.
Having a big kit is generally loud and sounds flabby and uncontrolled. Get a smaller, quieter acoustic kit. Its not only quieter, it makes things sound tighter. Get darker sounding cymbals. They tend to be less shrill and quieter.
On a small stage, or troublesome room, the sound from acoustic kits fly off everywhere, bouncing into open mics. In which case, get a decent electric kit. Most drummers moan about electric kits. Most drummers moan that they can't hit drums hard if they are told to quieten down. An electric kit gets around this. An electric kit going into a laptop and triggering a decent set of samples will sound infinitely better than an acoustic kit... or the stock sounds from an electric kit. HOWEVER, nothing beats the feel of a genuine hihat. Simple. Run an electric kit and mic up a separate hihat. (Even better, it frees up another trigger channel for other sounds).
And the next thing - mic up the kit appropriately. A small kit miced up properly and subjected to some processing will sound better than a big kit. It's easier to make a small kit sound fat through a PA, than to try and calm an overly live large kit.