Dear Mr @Al Nico,
I am writing in response to your recent suggestion of a new bass position which you called "The Half Angel". I was intending to play at church tomorrow morning, and so this afternoon decided I would practice your move. The most appropriate song seemed to be "The Lord Reigns", an upbeat number (especially with our over enthusiastic young drummers), where the move could be employed on the repeated phrase "The Lord Reigns" in the chorus.
My practice room at home is about 2.1x2.0m and has my work desk and chair, a small Ikea chair bed, Yamaha keyboard, two basses and an Ashdown combo. I decided that with careful alignment on the diagonal I could practice the move safely.
Alas, I was mistaken.
On the third "Reigns" of the second chorus I lifted the bass neck and my left leg as intended. However I caught my foot under the back of my work chair. This unbalanced me and the bass and I tipped leftwards at speed towards the chair and desk. The Bass is more expensive than the desk so I instinctively turned to the right to avoid smashing the headstock into the desk, but in the process twisted my hips in a manner not attempted since my graduation ball disco in 1988. I was now completely unbalanced (as indeed I was then).
The chair, given angular momentum from my foot, spun round towards me as I fell headlong towards it still trying not to damage the bass. The back of the chair hit my face at roughly the same time as the bass knocked over the keyboard stand, and the.noise from the bass amp and me were equally loud and unpleasant.
My fall continued and I finally came to rest sideways on the floor with the bass across my neck, the lead twisted around my legs, a terrible diminished chord emanating from the amp, and small cartoon bluebirds tweeting round my head.
From this I conclude:
1) The move should be renamed "The fallen angel" or possibly "The falling sinner".
2) I am not, and never will be, cut out for "moves"
3) The good Lord has a sense of humour, occasionally slapstick.
Yours, in traction,
@Richard R.