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MacDaddy

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Status Updates posted by MacDaddy

  1. MacDaddy

    Most people are quite shocked I'm not a qualified electrician.

    1. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      Stunning!

    2. prowla

      prowla

      I'm confused - is this some kind of plug, are you looking to flex your skills?

    3. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      Watt?? Ohm-y God - He must have found this gag at the back of a volt!!

  2. MacDaddy

    My happiest childhood memory is building sandcastles with my grandfather.

    Until my mother took the urn away from me.

  3. MacDaddy

    My therapist told me "write letters to the people you hate and then burn them".

    Did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

    1. lowregisterhead

      lowregisterhead

      😂 Whatever you do, don't bury them with the charred remains...

  4. MacDaddy

    Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check but the mirror wasn't working.

    1. alyctes

      alyctes

      You've been tracking mud into the house again. haven't you?

    2. Happy Jack

      Happy Jack

      Sorry to be a downer, but vampires show up in modern mirrors. They didn't show up in mirrors before because mirrors were backed with silver. Now we use aluminum.

  5. MacDaddy

    The inventor of velcro recently died. RIP.

    1. Rich

      Rich

      The bloke who composed the Hokey Cokey also died recently. His funeral was a bit chaotic -- it all kicked off when they put his left leg in the coffin...

  6. MacDaddy

    What is blue and not heavy?

    Light blue.

  7. MacDaddy

    What is it with these people who refuse to embrace modern technology?

    Answers on a postcard please...

  8. MacDaddy

    Why do the Riot Police get up early?

    To beat the crowds...

    1. AinsleyWalker

      AinsleyWalker

      You're on a roll!

    2. Tim Chapple

      Tim Chapple

      Love it.

  9. MacDaddy

    Why is that book so thick?

    It's a long story...

    1. Rich

      Rich

      Diner: Waitress, can you tell me about the menu please?

      Waitress: The men I please are none of your business.

    2. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      A jumper I bought recently was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store...

       

      They gave me another one Free of Charge.

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