Jean-Luc Pickguard

Average Shite Band

Mr Slater’s Paracetemol — Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band

I didn't look as I sometimes do as I'm told. What did I miss?

October — Sun Ra

High Heel Sneakers — Tommy Tucker

Howlin' Wilf The Wollies Hairy Nilsson Ẉank Williams Grand Fuƈk Railroad B.B. Ming

What! Men Without Cats Brian Ono Brian Merry Ann Weebles Mad Company Syd Parrett Blood Sweat & Teats

Turd Uncle — Brian Eno

Born Too Plate — The Poni-tails

Or ran out of andrex

Jimmy Purvey Shag 69 Silly Idol

Murder On The Dancefloor — Sophie Ellis Bextor

Zombie — The Cranberries

Poor Tom (Cruise) — Led Zeppelin

Rebel Trouser — Duene Eddy

Uriah Meep

Eagles Of Death Petal Pam & Dave Jockie Wilson New York Dolts Spencer Mavis Group

25 O'Clock — Dukes of Stratosphear

I bought my first mustang bass in about 2007, a secondhand 'crafted in Japan' one in olympic white. It was my main bass for the band I was in, and I thought I'd never part with it. Fast forward a number of years and I now own several additional mustang basses, most notably three JMJs (two blue & one black) which have a much chunkier neck profile. After playing these I find the narrow glossy neck of the CIJ just isn't as much fun to play as the others, so I sold it.

Where Is She? — The Residents

My local high street is often afflicted by buskers. Back in the days when it was one person singing with just an acoustic guitar, it was easy to ignore if it was a bit crap, but it becomes a nuisance once amplification is brought into the mix. Extra nuisance points for the ones that use backing tracks. In the US there are chancers who cannot play a note and are miming to amplified backing tracks - I wouldn’t be surprised if we start to see similar here soon.

The Four Mops