I can trump them all.
2nd hand (new to me) RM 500 has a horrible crackling noise after getting it home. Email to Ashdown. "Send it back to the retailer," says Dave.
"It's used," I reply (and it's well used, too. Scratched, dented, bent bits!).
"Ok, send it in," replies Dave. So I do and it comes back but it's not fixed. I then take months to send it in again as I'm moving house, not really playing and can't find the box. Eventually I send it back on a Friday and it returns again on Wednesday (I'm only paying for the postage to Ashdown, by the way, they're paying to send it back to me), but again it's not fixed.
I email a video of the fault and Dave calls me a couple of days later.
"Throw it in the bin," he says. He then adds, "I'm going to send you a new 800!"
I nearly fell over! It's a return, but checked out and fully working and was posted to me 2 days later.
Needless to say I'm a massive convert and a proselytising Ashdown convert.
I still can't actually believe that happened!