Raymondo

On 26/01/2022 at 16:45, EBS_freak said:

OK. Gap Year. Stick with it. It's good.

 

This was a memorable gig for all the most cringe reasons.

 

So this was down in Cornwall on a massive private estate in the middle of nowhere. It turned out to be for the wedding of the son of a Lord (I won't divulge names as he's quite trackable). This wedding was memorable for a number of reasons.

 

1. We were asked to get changed in the servants quarters in the house. Tarquin will let us in and show us to the room where we can get changed. Yes - "Tarquin. Philippino bloke... but awfully nice. He'll show you the way." I don't think Tarquin was Tarquin's real name - and I dont know why a he would be anything but awfully nice... but there you go.

 

2. In the toilets was a tin box on top of the back of the toilet cistern. It was inscribed with William and Cathrine. After some keen googling, I found out that it was a cake tin from the Royal Wedding. For anybody interested, it looked like this:

 

Link to cake

 

3. We went through the hallway and the place was full of the family with their more famous family members... including one who probably wasn't sweating in the photograph. As the evening progressed, we realised that we were in the company of some quite notable people... and our "warm up" act would appear to be somebody of pop royalty (I'm shocked that they didn't just get her band to play). Anyway, that's a story for another day... Carrying on...

 

4. The marquee was built onto a hillside - a platform had been built on stilts to have the marquee on the level - but give the infinity views out the side of the marquee. This marquee was absolutely massive - with lounging area, separate bars, eating area, indoor fountains... just think of something completely over the top and multiply it by ten. The band area was a separate "surprise unveiling" - in that it looked like from the inside of the marquee, it was just the side of the marquee... but it then opened up into a.. err.. nightclub in a marquee. So this brings us to our first incident. We were running on a generator - presumably the same one that was powering the whole of the marquee. There was a lot to power - and probably of note was the huge chandelier and hanging illuminated pinata (but more on that later).

 

As we soundcheck, there was what I could only describe what felt and sounded like a bomb going off. The whole ground shook and the sound was just louder than anything I'd ever heard. Everything inside power wise, was dead. We went out to the generator was, and the top of the generator had blown clean off. Cue the electricians (whole team of them) trying to get signal to source another generator. To be fair, they sorted it pretty quickly. I thought that would be the end of events... but turned out, that was only the start of the fun.

 

5. We went to the catering tent - jeez, you have seen nothing like it on this planet... but curiously enough, outside there were two complete stoners (like, obviously stoned) cooking up some dubious looking meat in a dubious, clearly unsafe oven, out in the open... with their rust bucket of a van parked next to them. Clearly there was something not quite right... so being a member of the band, I struck up conversation. Turns out these chancers were cooking the meat - which I seem to recall was something rare and oxen like. I asked them how they got the gig... and apparently, the client had been ringing around catering people who knew how to cook this thing. It would seem nobody else would go near it... but this pair told me they said yes, do it all the time, no problem. I looked at him... "yes, we've never cooked it before, but I mean, how hard can it be?". You could see and feel the tension between the catering crew and the stoners... who by the end of the night couldn't stand due to their alcohol consumption.

 

6. We'd all sound checked and was waiting in the house ready for "the call" after the speeches. It was delayed... and delayed... and delayed. The speeches hadn't even happened... so I went out to investigate. Turns out, that the best man had told the groom not to marry the bride at the altar as she only after his money. She clearly was, just after the money. He - socially awkward, dweeby, pretty ugly (trying not to be too unkind here) guy... her, super model looks but not the err... supporting pedigree shall we say. It was clear who her guests were and who the grooms were. Anyway, turns out, one of the brides friends had overheard this and told the bride. Naturally, the bride went off the hook - but only after matrimonial vows had been exchanged. Unbeknown to us, the whole day was running late as the bride and groom had vanished and spent the day arguing in the grounds.

 

7. Eventually, about 11 o'clock, the speeches happened. There had been some cooling by this point and the best man got up to do his speech. Lets just say, he started the speech with, it all started as an unlucky chance meeting on a gap year in Ghana that the "happy" couple met. He then proceeded to rip into the bride. The father of the bride then ripped the mic out of the best mans drunken hands and kicked him out of the marquee. Then started another half hour of chaos and guest awkwardness. The father came across and apologised and said he would still try and make the first dance go ahead.

 

8. The first dance. Probably the most memorable first dance I have ever had the (dis)pleasure of seeing. About quarter to midnight, the "nightclub" was revealed. Bride and groom were dragged onto the dance floor (literally) and told to dance as they were causing embarrassment. (I found this so funny - like the most embarrassing thing for the family at this point was the reluctance to have a first dance?! ). We played "You're Too Good To Be True". I remember this sequence of events like they were only yesterday -

 

a - band starts

b - bride and groom do nothing

c - singer prompts - "this is your time to shine x and y"

d - nothing

e - father of groom appears with a sword

f - groom puts his hands awkwardly on brides hips

g - bride removes grooms hands from her hips

h - bride is standing there, groom is dancing in front of her like an awkward Alan Partridge.

i - father of groom gives sword to groom

j - father of groom whispers in groom ear

k - groom jabs heart pinata with sword

l - confetti falls on the happy couple, causing the bride to roll her eyes and storm off stage

m - we finished song with groom just quivering in the middle of the dancefloor, the guests absolutely motionless whilst the band is doing the baa daa baa daa!! bit...

n - song finishes and the singer asks what we should do next

o - father of groom comes over to band and mimics the hand to the neck movement (cut it there)

p - he speaks to me - "you're only contracted to midnight and I dont think anybody is in the mood for music anyway"

q - we start packing up at about 5 minutes to midnight in silence. I don't think the band spoke to each other until we were all back in the van.

r - father of groom gives me an envelope "for our troubles". (I should have mentioned we had already been paid up front anyway... so I think this was embarrassment money)

s- we drive out the venue, having packed up, past the bride and groom who were arguing at the gate. We wound down the window and thanked them before wishing them a very happy life together.

 

So yeah. that was a memorable one. I've never been paid so much for 4 minutes of playing. (If you are wondering, my rate that night for playing was £150/minute)

 

Yes ,yes, all well and good but the important thing is...

Are they still together?

On 24/01/2022 at 14:59, Grimalkin said:

Sabbath.

 

A Black Sabbath/Abba crossover. Versatility, that's the name of the game.

A friend of mine is the main songwriter/vocalist/lead guitarist in a band that use the phrase " Putting ABBA back into Sabbath" in their marketing for gigs.

They do indeed have heavy riffs and harmony vocals in their repertoire...

2 hours ago, Happy Jack said:

My covers band The Junkyard Dogs has covered Baby Please Don't Go for years (with me on vocals!) and our version owes a lot more to Never Turn Your Back On A Friend than it does to Van Morrison and Them.

 

I lent my original copy to one of my best friends in 1974. He rode home on a weird Suzuki thingy with an upswept exhaust (very rare in those days) and the only way he could take it home was by sliding my LP between the exhaust and the rear sub-frame. Seriously.

 

Unbelievably, that record never played again.

 

I'd been struggling to work out how to play songs on bass for ages when one day, for the umpteenth time, I put that track on and somehow just... played along with it. It was my eureka moment. Budgie were my favourite band in the Seventies and Burke inspired me to play bass. He never knew of course but I have had some of the best times of my life playing bass thanks to him.

Hi Blue.... I missed this thread when you posted it.

I've not seen any posts of yours for ages (last I heard you were struggling without gigs etc), Mind you I generally hideaway in the DOI thread so it's not surprising.

It's good to see that you are doing well.

I went down to Stroud to see my favourite band play ( I've not gigged for a few years now ,though that will change this year as I have started an acoustic duo and we have gigs lined up already), The Achievers, our very own @Jack_Stroud_Bass does a brilliant job of holding down the low end.

I had a fabulous night. The boys invited me back to "band headquarters" when the gig finished at1.30am for more beer and I staggered back to my hotel at 4.30 am.

The gig wasn't too busy, everything felt as safe as it could be, people were respectful of each other ( I nipped off to the loo just before midnight as I hate all that malarkey at the best of times!) and the venue was well organised.

Happy new year to you.

4 minutes ago, Cato said:

 

Is that a white flag of Parley or a tiny axe?

Don't tell him P...... oh!

3 minutes ago, Cato said:

 

 My eyes aren't what they were ,is that a white flag of surrender or a tiny axe?

Don't tell  him Pike!

13 minutes ago, Escobars Dad said:

Senõres, can I interest you in a leetle taste of highest quality Colombian Plaster Jama? It may make this thread more, how you say, comprehensible.

 

Adios Amigos, till next time.

Hola Amigo.

Say hi to skinny next time you meet.

1 minute ago, ezbass said:

What? Where? Are there signs to it? Are they legible?

Haven't found it me self old chap...

think I'll mosey off to the Mess. Are the Spuds fully prepared?

13 hours ago, Bean9seventy said:

you think i care if people do not like me ? ;D

Oh it's nothing to do with like or dislike.

I find your weird trolling incomprehensible.

I have read the whole of this thread and, as a founding member of the DOI, I can report that I find @Osiris ancient Egyptian God's expositions on Wellingborough an easier read.

I couldn't care less about the history of funk bass players either...

I only came here for the free buffet.

Carry on! 

23 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

Is that the Menu at  Meat Dinners "R" Us Restaurant, dining for the road kill connoisseur?

Oh ... Merry Christmas everyone too😁

My Bon homie is stretched to breaking point today.... the bloody once a year drinkers are out in force....f*ck off back home to your cheap Tesco lager and let me get to the bar ya bastids!

One of the most impressive things I saw whilst playing the bases was one   at Padeborn in Germany, an "other Ranks" Hawaiian beach party held in December.

We got there to find that it was to be held outside in the bloody freezing snow.

The stage was a Tank transporter trailer and the ground all around had been covered in tons of sand.

The party was brilliant and didn't stop until the early hours of the morning.

We emerged from the  floor of a Squadie's bedroom ( five of us in the band ... we had arrived too late to get into our hotel!) at 6.30 am to find that there wasn't a grain of sand left to be seen .  Amazing  organization! 

In the late Nineties I played lot's of military bases here in the UK and also in Germany .

I can honestly say that I never saw any actual "fights"....lot's of mucking around, acting out bravado but no real fights.

In fact I always hated playing Sergeants Mess gigs. they were by far the most  ..stuck up their own derrières!

Other Ranks .... bloody brilliant laugh... join in with everything and they would always help with the load in/ load out.

Officers Mess... jeez ...Sodom and Gomorrah had nothing on these guys! But they always treated us well....let us join in the fun after playing and fed us brilliantly.

Sergeants mess...what a bunch of stuck up pr*cks they always were... never allowed to mix...stuck away in a changing cupboard with a few stale sandwiches and  cans of  warm beer...hated them ..in fact we refused to play them after a while because they were always such miserable affairs..

How the heck do you first find out that you can do that?!!!

22 minutes ago, Ricky 4000 said:

So the tempo does matter? Or it doesn't..?

 

That's right .

16 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

Is this the John Cage version ?

I struggled with the bass tab on that one.

Dave

yeah that's the one.

I like this 12" single extended version:-

I could never get the hang of keeping the open A going whilst cavorting up and down to/from the dusty end ...best I managed was a kind of one beat thing.

The easiest way to play the song though is ...

Travel back in time to the early Nineties. Move to Nottingham and get the members of the band "The Diamonds" ( not the famous 'merican one) to pick you instead of me at the audition.

 Then, when the departed lead guitar player isn't replaced you too can enjoy playing All Right Now to the wonderful audiences at the East Midlands WMC's, with no solo to faff around under!

No one cared. Not once did the audience complain ...they just danced to it as they always had!

Movin' on didn't take me long to learn actually...but probably more than one listen.

1 minute ago, ezbass said:

Ah, whilst I was typing, my esteemed colleague above appears to have made much the same point. He obviously can type faster than I can.

Yeah and he can do it in one pass. 😉

Just now, Skinnyman said:

That’s me out then.

 

That was my lockdown project and I’m still struggling with it

You don't have to lick the lollipop at the same time Skinny you know?

3 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

 

One thing that grieves me is how many modern pop songs have the same chord progression all the way through, chorus, verse, the same, just adding and subtracting instruments, changing the vocal melody. 

 

Seriously, though, it's not really possible to properly 'learn' a song in one pass and I kind of reject the suggestion that the ability to do so is some sort of prerequisite for being in a covers band. Mind you, anyone who can't play My Boy Lollipop after one hearing should really take up stamp collecting instead.
 

 My Pizz is equally boiled in such circumstances.

I don't mind busking them at a jam session in the Dog and Poacher though 😉

40 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

Acksherly, I think @TimR is more or less correct in his assertion. Most vanilla covers are pretty bog-standard; the changes are predictable to the extent you'll be sat there listening and you think 'I bet they change up a key' and five seconds later they do. You scribble it all down as you go, tidy your notes into a folder and off to rehearsal, there to iron out the group arrangement and sprinkle some fairy-dust on the choons.

 

An ability to work out the skeleton of a song in one pass in no way reflects on my limited musical talents. It's just that a significant percentage of each generation of pop songs is written to a formula of the day and it's getting more formulaic as time goes on.

 

For the last while everything's been about I, IV, V and VI in various permutations and if the K-Pop Wave takes off (as well it might) you can expect to hear I, V, VI, IV even more often than you do now.

 

His Eminence Mr Rick Beato on cliche chord progressions:

 

 

We have been having fun tonight commenting on the fact that "we should all be able to play most songs on one hearing" and although on first glance this appears to give credence to that opinion in fact twice during the video he cites occasions where that may not be so true.

" the Beatles had 27 number 1's but only used the "common chord progression on one of them ...

The guy that's wrote all the hit songs lately( never heard of him and can't be bothered to watch it again) wrote 22 number 1's and only one of them used the famous chords....

That's 47 very popular songs that don't follow a standard pattern!

He also tells us to look out for the chord progression in the choruses of many songs ...what about the verses?

 I believe it's possible to play a semblance of a lot of pop songs on one hearing, but that's a long way from having "learned to play them," and I think it's disingenuous to dismiss people on here as not right for a covers band if they can't play it after one hearing. (Although I quoted your post Skank, my latter statement here is in fact aimed at Tim who espoused the opinion referred to).

3 minutes ago, Si600 said:

As thread derails go, this one is a doozy.

Are we not in the DOI?

Crumbs, no wonder i don't feel safe.

2 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

Oh well this took an interesting turn. 🤣

Yeah but you'll have to read it more than once to nail the timing of the turn!