Critique this please.

[ambient]

[url="https://soundcloud.com/ambientbassist/there-will-be-light"]https://soundcloud.com/ambientbassist/there-will-be-light[/url]

I have to either write an original piece, or arrange an existing song for a string quartet as part of my uni course.

The first 40 bars or so has been done over the last couple of months, I did the next 50 or so this afternoon.

I'd be interested to hear what people have to say about it.

It's very much a work in progress, I still need to work on dynamics and fiddle (pardon the pun ) around with bits.

I also have to write about it and do a score in Sibelius.

[Dad3353]

Good evening, ambient...

I listened to the composition; congratulations on the result so far, even if, as you say, it's 'work in progress'. I hesitate to comment in any depth, even less advance any 'critique'; I'd have to declare my complete ignorance as to the finer (or even coarser..!) points of modern composition, and wouldn't want to lead you astray in your works. I have a few questions for you, though, if you will...
Is this your first piece..?
Do you have any restrictions or obligations to be taken into account..?
How long is the final piece supposed to last..?
How much time do you have before completion deadline (...and, if it's next week, why are you messing about on this forum..? )
I'll happily chat by PM if you wish, but with the firm understanding that I'm a first-class heavyweight chump, and should not be relied upon as a guiding beacon. More a spent match, really, now I think about it.
Well done for posting, of course; I'm sure you'll get more erudite replies from the experts here.
I'll follow progress, if you don't mind...

[ambient]

[quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1388193056' post='2319443']
Good evening, ambient...

I listened to the composition; congratulations on the result so far, even if, as you say, it's 'work in progress'. I hesitate to comment in any depth, even less advance any 'critique'; I'd have to declare my complete ignorance as to the finer (or even coarser..!) points of modern composition, and wouldn't want to lead you astray in your works. I have a few questions for you, though, if you will...
Is this your first piece..?
Do you have any restrictions or obligations to be taken into account..?
How long is the final piece supposed to last..?
How much time do you have before completion deadline (...and, if it's next week, why are you messing about on this forum..? )
I'll happily chat by PM if you wish, but with the firm understanding that I'm a first-class heavyweight chump, and should not be relied upon as a guiding beacon. More a spent match, really, now I think about it.
Well done for posting, of course; I'm sure you'll get more erudite replies from the experts here.
I'll follow progress, if you don't mind...
[/quote]

Hi man,

Thanks for spending the time to listen to it and reply.

It's my first stand alone piece, I've done strings for songs before, which is a lot easier because you have something to work to.

It's got to be handed in middle of January, but I have so many other things to do as well as this. I spent most of the afternoon and evening working on this and a film score for an orchestra that has to be handed in at the same time. My plan is to leave both now, and come back to them in a couple of days time, hopefully with kind of a fresh perspective on them.

I can sometimes hear where the pieces are joined together. The first 40 or so bars were recorded weeks ago, then the next 40 or so today, and I copied and pasted the ending form another section, mainly because I wanted to go back to it.

That's kinda why I wanted other musical people to listen to it, to see if it works as one piece.

[lowdown]

Hi ambient - Like you say, dynamics/vibrato needs some work.
It seems to me to be lacking in expression regarding articulations etc.
A lot of the notes seem the same on a velocity level, and everything bang on the grid.

Midi writing for Orchestral/Quartet pieces is always (very) hard, you need to get into the PRV
and write/paint in the cc#'s to breath life into a score.

Note wise for me, it just seems to be harmony wandering with no strong theme.
But hey, that's just what I like to hear, not meant to be a criticism, and it does have a lot of promise
with a little work (and yes, it is a work in progress, I look forward to the end product)

I have attached some info {PDF's) regarding articulations/dynamics and expression for Midi parts.
You more than likely know all this stuff, but others may find it useful.

[attachment=151055:String arranging.pdf]
[attachment=151056:String arranging 2.pdf]
[attachment=151057:String arranging 3.pdf]

If you have trouble opening the file - Just rename the file extension from.ipb to pdf after download.

Edited December 28, 2013 by lowdown

[Grangur]

To Lowdown:

Many thanks for the comments, it's good to hear your insight, but please can you attach as "pdf" format for those who don't have an iphone?

To Ambient:
Thanks for posting. You certainly have Mrs G's adoration. We both listened a few times and it's sounding good - will be watching to hear the final version.

I'll be sending a link to this to my Bro-in-Law - pro Cellist and teacher.

Edited December 28, 2013 by Grangur

[lowdown]

Grangur, they were attached as pdf's - But for some reason the extension shows as .ipb.
After download, just rename from .ipb to pdf then that will open them.

[Grangur]

Hey, Many thanks for the info!!

[ambient]

Hi guys,

Thanks for taking the time to listen and leave feedback, it's much appreciated.

My keyboard playing isn't too good, especially when it comes to playing string parts, they always end looking like [size=5]eeeee[/size] [size=6]awwww[/size] [size=4]eeeeee [/size][size=8]awww[/size] [size=1] [/size][size=1]eeeeee .[/size]

[size=4]So after I record a section I out of habit set the dynamics to the same level, I then have a blank canvas as it were to add dynamic to as I want.[/size]

[size=4] Thanks for the PDF's, I look forward to reading through them .[/size]