chrismuzz Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I agree with most of the posters here. You don't want to spoil the friendship by getting frustrated with the guy on a musical level. It's hard telling your mates they need to sort it out, even harder to fire them but if it comes down to that itll work out better for everyone and the band in the long run. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 [quote name='guildbass' timestamp='1326757774' post='1501719'] The thing is, to retain a mate, HE has to decide so YOU have to manipulate the situation until he is unable NOT to see the issues... [/quote] I simply can't agree with that sentiment. If anyone considers manipulation as a means to steer friendships then they really need to take a long hard look at themselves and consider what value they place on friendships. I could have manipulated my closest friends to move them away from the inevitable 'sh*tstorms' they were about to walk into but I haven't. I'll talk to them about it, I'll advise them of what is going to happen and I'll help them pick up the pieces afterwards if they don't listen, but manipulating them out of it... no. They might forgive me but I'm not sure I could forgive myself. Manipulation is something that I believe should be solely reserved for enemies and anyone attempting it should be aware that there's a 50/50 chance that it's going to backfire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisnameistaken Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 [quote name='icastle' timestamp='1326795427' post='1501939']Manipulation is something that I believe should be solely reserved for enemies and anyone attempting it should be aware that there's a 50/50 chance that it's going to backfire.[/quote] That is how my relationship with my dog usually goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Don't underestimate maipulation. We all do it. All of the time. Without malice, I hope, but we do it. But, yes, not a good idea in this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jam Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 We had a similar problem with our last singer. He's an old, very good friend of mine, and it was him who invited me to join the band when the old bass player couldn't commit. When I went to Japan for work for a year, he did a bit of moonlighting for another friend's band, which was fine. When I got back, he told us he'd become their main singer and would be doing both bands, but ours would "take priority". Eventually he was much more focused on the other band, couldn't commit to gigs or some practices, and the ones he did come to were awkward and uncomfortable. He'd dropped a few hints about balancing the two and "maybe we should look into getting another singer" but also said "I would never leave the band, you'd have to kick me out". We had a chat when he wasn't there and decided that we'd ask him to leave. It was a difficult choice as he is such a good friend and I was really worried it would damage our friendship, but as it transpired, he was so stressed with balancing both and work and fiance, that it's exactly what he needed. If the drummer is such a good friend, you need to talk to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean-Luc Pickguard Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 get a proper drummer in & 'promote' him to percussionist - bongos, tambourine or cowbell. Or give the band a USP & make use of his pole dancing skills - in a kind bez-type position. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodyratm Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 Thanks for the advise folks. The guitarist is looking to kill the band since him and I wrote the songs and music. We pretty much did the drum parts too more or less. What i'm thinking is - Get a practice on the go - see if there's many mistakes and try and book another practice to sort said mistakes. I want to try and get him to agree to practice more. He does have an electric kit too but its not really as responsive as we'd like (so it sounds out of time) - Wonder if theres a way of changing the sensitivity/latency... If he can pull it together I'd rather keep him. It's really irritating since I do gel really well with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guildbass Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 (edited) OK...Having read your OP again... It's obvious one or both you and the guitarist are writing and want to take original material, craft it and present it to the world. Whoever is writing should have the say in who plays what and to a certain extent, how. in my opinion...They have the song in their head, and if the guitarist is writing, you can BE the middle man...Just say to him .'We all need to be as tight as a ducks arse before we go on stage because on stage, 90% of your rehearsal tightness just f***s off and anyway, we need to be absolutely 100% to record. None of us are good enough at the moment so we [b]ALL[/b] need to put in at least (insert the number of hours and days here) a week to get good. [b]Can you do that ?[/b], because we really need a top drummer and if you haven't got the time we'd rather keep you as a friend and get some random drummer in who can, than lose you as a mate..." Edited January 17, 2012 by guildbass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodyratm Posted January 22, 2012 Author Share Posted January 22, 2012 Thanks again for this. We've decided to speak to him, and amicably end foxdie. We're going to say we'd rather not do foxdie as a band if it would cause issues. Hopefully he'll understand... Get a new name, new drummer and new vocalist. Change the band entirely. I've already found another drummer whos absolutly great and a singer interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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