Having to play "Mistletoe and Wine", would make me want to try and eat all the mistletoe and snuff it, but then the original was far removed from Cliff's slush:
"The musical was renamed The Little Match Girl and adapted for television by HTV in 1987, and featured Roger Daltrey, Paul Daneman, Jimmy Jewel and Twiggy. As originally conceived, "Mistletoe and Wine" had a different meaning from that for which it has come to be known. The writers wanted a song that sounded like a Christmas carol, intending it to be sung ironically while the little matchgirl is kicked out into the snow by the unfeeling middle classes. By the time the musical transferred to television, the song had become a lusty pub song sung by the local whore, as played by Twiggy."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mistletoe_and_Wine