Tours

[Stacker]

I know one about a drunk tour novice, his bunk, a condom and a drumstick. Nuff said!!

[Big_Stu]

In the early 80's one of the driver's of a certain rock band was considerably larger than average, looking a lot like Giant Haystacks long lost twin. As his job was driving, as I said, he had developed a habit of rolling up a strip of loo roll & wedging it down the crack of his gargantuan arse to soak up the sweat.
If any newbie was naive enough to share the cab with Dave AND be daft enough to fall asleep; 9 times out of 10 he'd wake up with a Fu Manchu style moustache comprising said rather sweaty used loo roll.

Many many stories like those, but that was then & most of them are so far wide of PC that they're untellable.

[Ross]

[quote name='Big_Stu' post='1306656' date='Jul 17 2011, 01:42 PM']In the early 80's one of the driver's of a certain rock band was considerably larger than average, looking a lot like Giant Haystacks long lost twin. As his job was driving, as I said, he had developed a habit of rolling up a strip of loo roll & wedging it down the crack of his gargantuan arse to soak up the sweat.
If any newbie was naive enough to share the cab with Dave AND be daft enough to fall asleep; 9 times out of 10 he'd wake up with a Fu Manchu style moustache comprising said rather sweaty used loo roll.

Many many stories like those, but that was then & most of them are so far wide of PC that they're untellable.[/quote]
Oh man, thats nasty.
Tell us more!

[bluesparky]

[quote name='Stacker' post='1306632' date='Jul 17 2011, 01:19 PM']I know one about a drunk tour novice, his bunk, a condom and a drumstick. Nuff said!![/quote]
One of my personal peeves is being disturbed in your bunk.
If you're in there with the curtains closed then that's it, you should be left alone.
If you fall pass out in the back lounge after being smashed on booze and whatever then you're fair game.

[Stacker]

[quote name='bluesparky' post='1307408' date='Jul 18 2011, 07:54 AM']One of my personal peeves is being disturbed in your bunk.
If you're in there with the curtains closed then that's it, you should be left alone.
If you fall pass out in the back lounge after being smashed on booze and whatever then you're fair game.[/quote]

Agreed. From what I recall, though, his bunk curtains were open.

I also heard a tale of Rat Scabies emptying the contents of an ashtray into Elvis Costello's snoring gob!!

[bluesparky]

Whilst working on a tour in the not too distant past i ended up buying a 3' polystyrene skull in St Albans Clintons.
After hollowing it out and turning it into a mask it ended up being worn by the drummer during his drum solo and became the centre of attention for a little while.
Later on in the tour we woke on the bus in the morning to find the back lounge covered in hundreds of tiny pieces of polystyrene and my mate "Ed the head" was no more.
It turns out that a member of the band jokingly said to another "that skull is looking at you funny, it's giving you the eye" etc... which then progressed into the 2nd band member utterly ripping apart said skull in a jokey fit of paranoia until it was no more and the lounge looked like a hyper-puppy had been let loose in there.

As a result i then bought a load of 6" skulls and scattered them around the stage & backline ready for the soundcheck, complete with speech bubbles saying "Where's Dad?", "Stop the massacre", "Where's Ed" etc..

The band member in question took the point sheepishly apologised and said he'd pay me for the skull (which only cost a tenner anyway).
I'm still waiting for my money!!!

[Stacker]

I know loadsa tales, some true, some apocryphal, from being in the industry for many years. A couple of cracking Van Morrison tales and a shocking tale about an English female pop/soul singer from oop north but this forum isn't the place for 'em.

Stalker groupies - now there's a thread!!!!

[JTUK]

well tell them..just don't use the
names.

[MacDaddy]

[quote name='Stacker' post='1307562' date='Jul 18 2011, 10:50 AM']A couple of cracking Van Morrison tales[/quote]

the one about the p1553d off band and what they did to his harmonicas?

[Stacker]

[quote name='MacDaddy' post='1307612' date='Jul 18 2011, 11:23 AM']the one about the p1553d off band and what they did to his harmonicas?[/quote]


That's the main one!!! Love it!

[Stacker]

[quote name='JTUK' post='1307590' date='Jul 18 2011, 11:06 AM']well tell them..just don't use the
names.[/quote]
Even if I changed the name of the female singer, I think it's too gross. Don't think I'd get away with it.

[Stacker]

Was g-teching for a band back in the mid '90s. Singer had stalker fan who turned up every night, same spot, front row, with her mate. She had that same manic look that Cher has and every night notes were gettign handed to the TM to give to singer. The one that tipped it over the edge - which resulted in no more mail from this bird being passed backstage - went along the lines of 'I am standing in the wings every night watching you, my darling! Soooon we will be together!!'. The singer left the band not long after that but that didn't stop the stalker: she married the singer's cousin, who lived a mile or so away from the singer himself on an island up north. Nutjobs.

Edited July 18, 2011 by Stacker