britain's got talent (the story of SCHWING, the only swing band ever to audition)

[Tech]

so basically this week I've had the best night of my life and the worst night of my life.

sometime in november, i got a call from the drummer in my jazz-funk band asking if I fancied auditioning for britain's got talent with a big band for a laugh... so I said I'd go for it, and that was pretty much it, didn't hear anything about it until january, by which time I'd assumed they'd rejected our application completely.

I get a call at the start of december saying they want us to audition in cardiff next week... we get up to cardiff for a couple of days for the first time... run through some stuff. it sounds pretty average. we pick a piece (the higgins arrangement of birdland) and run with it. we get up to cardiff for the audition - as our first gig as a group infront of anyone. it's scary; there are countless other amazing acts, some of them are crap, some of them seem good enough to win. [b]the odds of us getting through to the semi finals are 1:2500...[/b]

december passes and we hear nothing. I am preoccupied through this month with a-level modules, university applications, my job (which I quit in january anyway), and various other gigs with the rock band (now basically defunkt as guitarist is joining the navy) and the jazz band. we forget all about the whole fiasco.

about a fortnight again from today we get a call saying we're through to the next round, and they want us to go back in a few days. we all get together again and REALLY practice this time. we beat thousands of other acts for a slot at this audition. it has to be good, and we are unprepared... we take a couple of days of school/work and we *really* work our bums off for this one. we used the judge's reactions from our first audition and noted when he started to get bored... we accordingly abridge the arrangement of birdland, splice it with a few bars from the stripper (read: the PG tips advert music), then finish with the fast coda from birdland with a key change... we add in a dance routine where we all stand up and sway when we break into the stripper, then strut to the front of the stage, bandleader does a cheesy count-in to the end of birdland and we all rock out (quite a fun sight to see a big band rocking out!).

it works. it looks and sounds good. we might have a chance. bright eyed and bushy tailed, we meet ant and dec... we meet simon, amanda, piers... it's in a proper theater infront of a couple of thousand people... the acts around us have all stepped up several notches from before... there are broadcast cameras everywhere, racks up to the ceilings, backstage is bigger than the lunch halls at school, this time it's real...

THIS IS THE BEST 3 MINUTES OF MY LIFE...

we get on stage. the soundcheck went great. i've never sounded so good - the crew for this show are the same crew that do the sound for countless television programs - they know their stuff. ant and dec call us up on stage, our bandleader introduces us... are we nervous? hell no; by this time the adrenaline has kicked in... 1, 2, 3, 4...

the whole thing is a blur... before I know it, we're at the stripper, the crowd are screaming, the judges are laughing, we get to the front of the stage, start the coda of birdland... each tier of the theater stands up to give us a standing ovation, the crowd love us, this is what it's like being famous... they ask us questions, bandleader answers well... we're all looking at simon.

he likes it. 3 ticks from the judges... euphoria. we're through to london, with 100 other acts... and we don't have to audition again; they only want to film our reactions. [b]the odds of us getting through to the semi finals now are 1:2.5[/b].

fast forward to friday just gone. this is an all expenses paid trip to london... for all 15 of us. free train ride, free taxi and tube ride, free night at an expensive hotel, free food and free booze. brilliant. we're put up with all the other acts... there are a couple of other welshies through to this round, all of us gravitated to the pub (whereas everyone else stayed in the lobby/restaurant!) and we all got mightily sloshed and sang all night. the feeling of helpelessness at this stage is unreal; the judges already know who they're going to let through.

the morning comes. we get to the london filming locations. the buildings are beautiful. we are in the same room as the act that will WIN BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT. we meet the judges again. we meet ant and dec again. there are even more cameras this time. it's tense. there are acts from all over the country here, some of them have been performing for years. I guarantee you I will never be in a room with more attractive women in it EVER AGAIN.

it's waiting and interviews all day... our time finally comes; we are all bundled into busses and driven to the secret location where we get told whether we are through to the semi finals or not, and I tell you this; it is f***ing scary. we get told they are ready to see us... we walk down the stairs, and all line up at the bottom... simon is chewing his pen, amanda is not looking at us, piers is looking into my eyes...

"the competition this year was close this year guys..."

WE KNOW IT'S A REJECTION.

"...things have changed from the last round; we have let through some acts we didn't think we would... we have therefore had to decline through some acts that we did not expect we would... so I'm afraid it's bad news..."

THERE COULD STILL BE A CHANCE; BAD NEWS THAT WE HAVE TO COME BACK AGAIN? BAD NEWS THAT WE HAVE TO PRACTICE HARDER?

"you're not through." -[b] this is the worst moment of my life.[/b]

I feel dizzy. I think we met ant and dec again but i'm not sure... they might have filmed us again... i don't care anymore. we get in the busses, we get the train home... I woke up today and everything kind of sunk in.

sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent. it's been tense, and to have beaten the odds when they were so slim - and then to get rejected when they were so in our favour... that, ladies and gentlemen, is not good times. so yeah; if anyone has any questions about the show or what acts are through to the live semis etc etc then feel free to ask, and thanks for reading my story.

clydach's got talent anyone?

[Gamble]

Sounds like quite a ride mate, good work getting as far as you did! Just remember the good times......

[Chelios]

Aww mate sorry to hear that Better luck next time i suppose

[Kev]

unlucky man, good on ya for getting that far though. Probably best you didnt get any further, talent rarely wins the program ironically, you would only have been beaten in the final by a rather talented dog or other such nonsence, good effort!

[Tech]

[quote name='Kev' post='403482' date='Feb 8 2009, 04:12 PM']unlucky man, good on ya for getting that far though. Probably best you didnt get any further, talent rarely wins the program ironically, you would only have been beaten in the final by a rather talented dog or other such nonsence, good effort![/quote]

cheers for the kind words guys

and Kev, you're right here... I tell you what, there are some AMAZING acts going through to the semis (which btw are the live, phone-in rounds) including a welsh singer (he's the one with the goatee, you'll know who I mean if you watch it - and he's also a nice guy. we met him at every single one of our auditions, and at the hotel!) and this dance group who toured with madonna...

but there are some utter bollucks acts going through too... like this 80 year old breakdancer. I mean I could understand if he were actually really good, and he's really good for his age I spose, but compared to some of the other breakdancing acts who got rejected he is stupidly bad.

Edited February 8, 2009 by Tech

[thedontcarebear]

Thats a good story to tell the grandkids, but I must say that all these tv talent shows are pretty crap.

[phil_the_bassist]

Dude, commiserations!

You have to admit tho, you've had one HELL of an experience! How many guys can say that they got that far? It was an epic time, and you never know...Simon might well fancy pushing a Swing band to stardom next year and *YOU* will be his first call!

....plus, you'd loose pretty much all your credibility if you did win