discreet Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 I really didn't want this topic to get too technical. Or even slightly serious. Points will be awarded for blatantly stupid posts, unworkable suggestions (there have been a few already ) and puerile SHlT. Hooray! Enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzneck Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) Good morning all. Right then, I've now considered the question posed. From a major observation just after waking up this morning I can state categorically that a Slumberland spring loaded, memory foam King Size mattress (80" x 72") performs well as a larger rectangular speaker. Upon breaking wind whilst laying in bed at daybreak, I noted that there was a massive amplfication of the sound caused by the mattress coil springs vibrating and the bed frame resonating in sympathy as the the vibrations were transfered via the taught mattress cover (the tightly fitted bottom sheet may also have assisted this transfer). All frequencies were amplified with a preponderance for mids and bass to blast through. The room was filled with sound. A noticeable extra was that there appeared to be uncalled for backing vocals from the missus along the lines of "Oh no, not again, do you have to?. There was also a strange smell of rotten cabbage a few moments after. My conclusion so far is that this idea of a large rectangular mattress / speaker may do the jobby as well. I will continue with my research and keep you posted. (now off for my purile sh*t, shower and shave). Edited June 25, 2012 by Jazzneck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzneck Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) In the interest of fully complying with Health and Safety legislation whilst researching the effectivenes of the Mattress / Speaker Jobby, I will be attaching the following to our bedroom door: [center][color=#ff0000][u][b]Alles Touristen und non-technischen Looken Peepers![/b][/u][/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Das Machinkontrol is nicht for gefengerpoken und mittengrabben.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Oderwise is easy schnappen der Springenverk, blowenfus, undpoppencorken mit Spitzensparken.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Der Machine is diggen by Experten only.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Is nicht fur geverken by das Dumpkopfen.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Das rubber necken Sightseenen keepen das cotton-picken Hands in das Pockets.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]So relaxen, und vatchen das Blinkenlights.[/color][/center] Edited June 25, 2012 by Jazzneck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzneck Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) Mein Gott in Himmel, I forgot ze Kaptitals! Vielen dank.. Entschuldigen sie mich, bitte. Edited June 25, 2012 by Jazzneck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 [quote name='Jazzneck' timestamp='1340608497' post='1706775'] Vielen dank.. [/quote] Sorry Jazzneck, I deleted it thinking no-one in his right mind would've seen it ... and it seems I was right. Just thought I wasn't writing funny enough, see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzneck Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) [quote name='BassTractor' timestamp='1340608989' post='1706784'] Sorry Jazzneck, I deleted it thinking no-one in his right mind would've seen it ... and it seems I was right. Just thought I wasn't writing funny enough, see. [/quote] Done - but I had a struggle trying to work out which were verbs, adjectives and nouns. Please feel free to correct accordingly! Edited June 25, 2012 by Jazzneck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) [quote name='Jazzneck' timestamp='1340609464' post='1706787'] Done - but I had a struggle trying to work out which were verbs and nouns. Please feel free to correct accordingly! [/quote] Exactly the same here. . So I just gave it a go, and imagined I'd get clubbed down for exactly that. OK then, I'll give it a go again. There are no fees. [center][color=#ff0000][u][b]Alles Touristen und non-technischen Lookenpeepers![/b][/u][/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Das Maschinenkontroll ist nicht für gefengerpoken oder mittengrabben.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000CD]Oderwise ist der Springenverk, das Blowenfuss und das Undpoppenkorchen (mit kleinem Spitzensparken) [/color][color=#0000cd]einfach zu schnappen[/color][color=#0000cd].[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Der Maschine ist ohnly bei Experten zu diggen.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Der Maschine ist aber nicht für geverken bei das Dumpkopfen geeignet.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Das Rubberneckensightseenen sollen die Baumwolle-picken Hände in die Pockete kiehpen.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]So zum relaxen, und die Blinkenlichts vatschen.[/color][/center] [center][u][i][color=#0000CD]Reichskopierechte bei Donnervetter Jazznacke[/color][/i][/u][/center] [center][size=3](trad. Niedrichgitarrentraktoren)[/size][/center] You'll be grateful I happened to study at the Royalistische Erich Honecker Übersetsenhochschule. [color=#ffffff].[/color] [color=#ffffff].[/color] Edited June 25, 2012 by BassTractor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdwardHimself Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 I really ought to start learning the German again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 [quote name='EdwardHimself' timestamp='1340611946' post='1706808'] I really ought to start learning the German again. [/quote] Yes. It would help a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzneck Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) [quote name='BassTractor' timestamp='1340611534' post='1706805'] Exactly the same here. . So I just gave it a go, and imagined I'd get clubbed down for exactly that. OK then, I'll give it a go again. There are no fees. [center][color=#ff0000][u][b]Alles Touristen und non-technischen Lookenpeepers![/b][/u][/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Das Maschinenkontroll ist nicht für gefengerpoken oder mittengrabben.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000CD]Oderwise ist der Springenverk, das Blowenfuss und das Undpoppenkorchen (mit kleinem Spitzensparken) [/color][color=#0000cd]einfach zu schnappen[/color][color=#0000cd].[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Der Maschine ist ohnly bei Experten zu diggen.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Der Maschine ist aber nicht für geverken bei das Dumpkopfen geeignet.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]Das Rubberneckensightseenen sollen die Baumwolle-picken Hände in die Pockete kiehpen.[/color][/center] [center][color=#0000cd]So zum relaxen, und die Blinkenlichts vatschen.[/color][/center] [center][u][i][color=#0000CD]Reichskopierechte bei Donnervetter Jazznacke[/color][/i][/u][/center] [center][size=3](trad. Niedrichgitarrentraktoren)[/size][/center] You'll be grateful I happened to study at the Royalistische Erich Honecker Übersetsenhochschule. [color=#ffffff].[/color] [color=#ffffff].[/color] [/quote] Pas mal, mon brave! And that's about the limit of my foreign language knowledge, apart from loads of swear words in French, German and a bit of Maltese. Also I learnt "Noch ein Bier, bitte", "Wo sind die Maedchen?", "Zehn litres Benzin, bitte" - very useful when touring the Ruhr Valley! Edited June 25, 2012 by Jazzneck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted June 25, 2012 Author Share Posted June 25, 2012 [size=4][font=Arial, sans-serif]"[/font][/size][color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Upon breaking wind whilst laying in bed at daybreak, I noted that there was a massive amplification of the sound caused by the mattress coil springs vibrating and the bed frame resonating in sympathy as the the vibrations were transferred via the taught mattress cover (the tightly fitted bottom sheet may also have assisted this transfer).[/font][/color] [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]All frequencies were amplified with a preponderance for mids and bass to blast through. [/font][/color][color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]The room was filled with sound. [/font][/color][color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]A noticeable extra was that there appeared to be uncalled for backing vocals from the missus along the lines of 'Oh no, not again, do you have to?' [/font][/color] [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]There was also a strange smell of rotten cabbage a few moments after."[/font][/color] [size=4][font=Arial, sans-serif]Now, you see? This is exactly the kind of puerile rubbish I was hoping for - well done. [/font][/size][font=Arial, sans-serif][size=4] [/size][/font][size=4][font=Arial, sans-serif] [/font][/size] [font=Arial, sans-serif][size=4]Mit freundlichen Grüßen,[/size][/font] [size=4][font=Arial, sans-serif]Mark[/font][/size] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdwardHimself Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 [quote name='Jazzneck' timestamp='1340614788' post='1706861'] "Zehn litres benzin, bitte" - very useful when touring the Ruhr Valley! [/quote] You don't pluralise using the letter S in German. Well not normally anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzneck Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 [quote name='EdwardHimself' timestamp='1340617828' post='1706914'] You don't pluralise using the letter S in German. Well not normally anyway. [/quote] I did, but I'm not normal........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 [quote name='Jazzneck' timestamp='1340614788' post='1706861'] Pas mal, mon brave![/quote] Ah! Merci beaucoup, mon chér ami! [quote name='Jazzneck' timestamp='1340614788' post='1706861'] "Noch ein bier, bitte", "Wo sind die Maedchen?", "Zehn litres benzin, bitte" [/quote] Die Kapitals! Die Kapitals!!! Siegh. Ich gebe obenwärts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4 Strings Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 [quote name='EdwardHimself' timestamp='1340617828' post='1706914'] You don't pluralise using the letter S in German. Well not normally anyway. [/quote] Is 'pluralise' a word (in English as opposed to American)? Do we not 'make plural'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdwardHimself Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) [quote name='4 Strings' timestamp='1340636283' post='1707374'] Is 'pluralise' a word (in English as opposed to American)? Do we not 'make plural'? [/quote] It is, according to my firefox UK English dictionary (if I was speaking 'mirkin it would be "pluralize") Edited June 25, 2012 by EdwardHimself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4 Strings Posted June 25, 2012 Share Posted June 25, 2012 Fair enough Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.