Uncle Rodney

Ya know, I did give this some careful thought at the time, but I wasn't expecting the answerphone because Mr B was expecting my call. I've found sometimes no matter how carefully I choose my words, it all depends how the receiver interprets them at that precise moment. For example asking "how are you?" can get "f**k off don't waste my time" because they are not the type of person who responds to that (apparently German people hate that question as do many Northeners). Another "I'd like to talk with you regarding the band" can produce "why just not say it then!" or "you're not the BL so fo" and so on. It all depends how the person feels at that specific moment. I think my on-the-spot message was "I'd like to talk to you about recent events in the band.." As an aside I have used the "it's not you it's me" tactic and found some people REALLY hate that. My Hungarian friend (really nice young man) we were discussing this phrase and he got really animated! 🤣 He said "we eastern Europeans say exactly as we see it, if you smell we will say "YOU STINK! non of this nonsense you Brits comeout with." 🤣 I did laugh. Shoot me 😆

Minor update: I decided to contact Mr B (the member earmarked to be removed) - it took him a week to respond to my text, giving me time/day to phone him, which I did, got instantly to his voicemail/answerphone, I made a comment saying we need to chat about the band... and then heard nothing more. So I can only assume he doesn't want to talk to me or perhaps doesn't want to hear about bad things. Anyway, I'm done with this now, my conscience is clear I made a positive move to reduce any hurt. If we once again meet up (band rehearsal) and they boot him out... Worst I had like this was about 4 years ago in a band. The "lead" guitarist was really awful, I don't know why the BL (Band Leader) chose him other than being his friend. It came to a point where he had to go, ok, them being friends should mean a nice quiet chat etc. Anyway the BL called me and the drummer in (like a works meeting) and was quite abrupt with the guy, like a public humilation! As the discussion unfolded I could see this was more a public humilation so I left the room. I'm not having ANY part of that nonsense. Some months after I left the band, as you guys will know, if that BL sacks his friend like that he will do the same to me. When I gave my reason for stepping out the BL gave a nonsense reply, in my view he's a joker, not worth spending time with. There's some really crap people in bands.

Not heard of Mr Hook?? - This is one aspect of being a "musician" I like. Yes I've heard and know who PH is and never heard of the Foo Fighter chap "his" episode was a decent watch. Meaning very often I "discover" a musician that I would never have looked at, now I have info on what they offer, I'm "enriched" Adam Clayton surpised me. Usually I've seen the U2 crew to seem like schoolboys in interviews, the spokesman being Bono who was always on point. Adam speaks very well, must be his age

Glad I'm not the only one, I had to switch channels after 20 mins, nothing of interest, move on. I think it shows how the long standing program makers have lost touch. There's Scott Devine's YT channel, which at times is great and other a bit silly, but the guy can play and I learn from him (and Ian) I think also media makers like Scott can create content how they want free from editorial control. YT is producing some really great presenters/tutors Luv it.

I stumbled on this, watched it. Yes the show was based around Peter H as the main presenter, which is OK and why not. I would agree maybe the show's title isn't quite on point but I don't mind as it was interesting to see Peter today with a few snippets of his history. I wonder also if some of the other "names" - were thinking, "Why aren't I the focus of the show?". I could see in Peter, any mention of Ian was emotional, they must have had great respect for each other, even at their young age. Knowing band arguments, it was interesting to note when Barney (Peter's long time friend) told him not to play on a new New Order track, that usually culminates into either a.. confrontation or "ok then Bye". I could see it was a sore point, indeed a mistake by Barney who I would suspect to be intoxicated by their success, money, new tech and even seduced by the hedonistic lifestyle of London. Which would have been equally as intense as Mcr but very different values. Anyway, I liked the show, was easy viewing. It's a contrast to today where when we want some real nitty-gritty we go to YT

Hope you don't mind me editing your comment, it hit me solid in the face. 1. That's a good question I didn't and should have asked when the band discussed this at the rehearsal. Also I should have asked how many other bands the replacement guy (C) currently in. 2. In truth I wasn't really paying attention, more of a general listen to my cues etc. I was thinking perhaps B wasn't "leaning into it" as much as I would have thought. I happen to get into a convo about some other band related subject with B and I thought to raise the question, is there a problem. 3. 100% - you have me 100% I told the guys this is a bad thing to do, and repeated it many times. Call me a softy but I find it upsetting. I think the deep emotion is rooted in many years of scrapping. 4. When asked for my view about B, I gave a full speech, we should quietly speak with B, find out if there's any problems we could fix. I think this view comes with age, after being in a lot of scraps, when I've seen skilled negotiators at work, I'm very impressed at how they get a good solution and no one gets hurt. 5. Yes there are other band members, I think though as A's presentation was strong, the other guys just went along with it. It was mentioned if to move A into a different position in the band, but as we're not mainstream, finding another person will be nigh on impossible. 6. Yes I have advocated a "professional" approach. However that notion usually falls on inexperienced ears. Usually it's that ransom demand, "either he goes or I go". I have thought if to jump ship as overall the band is quite weak, nice enough guys but not really "doing the business". All the comments are good, making me think

It's something we encounter in bands, however as I've grown older and been on both sides of this situation, I maintain, "be nice". Here's the current situation, I will use alias' so not to reveal anything personal. Band member A thinks band member B isn't good enough, insisting B has to go. Interestingly A has "found" a replacement in C showing us videos of their performance selling C to us. The current band plan is to auditon C without telling B about it. This leaves me feeling bad because B now becomes treated differently in online chats, as if he has an infectious disease. The band plans to try out C in the new year, so that's 6 weeks B is frozen out. I've already said - so we get C onboard, a few weeks later he announces his "other band is getting busy so needs to leave" - Obviously B has now gone with no replacement. The band stalls. C will leave if he thinks the band isn't good enough anyway. Personally I don't think A is that good. I had a quiet moment with B before this situation arose and B has said A isn't that good. Any ideas? I need to be nice to everyone, bands should be enjoyable, it's the bitching that makes it all sour. I suspect B has "a lot on his plate" and doesn't need anymore 💩- so I'm wondering if to phone him for a quiet update, he could then tell the band "sorry guys, I have a lot of 💩on my plate and need to drop out" it's better the exit is done by B rather than be "fired".

I have found wedding venues to be greedy without shame. Even some of the staff are on the "take" - that kind of greed culture breeds more of the same. For example, if a waiter knows the boss/manager is taking a slice (£) they will try it too, although will be more careful about it. Personally I avoid playing weddings, way too messy, all that emotion, bad tempered/stressed guests etc. Also the band are supposed to keep mouth shut and take the abuse as it's someone's "special day" when normally the band would respond in kind.

My current band - I'm in that "shall I stay or shall I go" phase. Over many weeks everyone bar me has openly said "I haven't learnt the new songs" - which is always an indicator no one is playing their part. The man who started the band (who found everyone) put an advert up in JMB offering his services after our first meet up (bad move I thought), then he said he wants someone else to do the rehersal bookings... there's more, all saying.. not really gonna happen methinks. Sometimes I wonder, it is best just to lay it out on the table "look guys I don't think this band is really going to happen" - in the past I've try not to be hasty, give a band the chance to evolve and develop, however with experience, as they have all folded it can only be a casual affair. We started off with a professional musician, he was really good, all the time I was thinking how long before he decides it's a waste of his time and leave, which he did. Always tricky decision.

Maybe a little of topic. Last band I was in the guitarist (Blackmore impersonator) who was a Phd. in Physics just could not "get" room resonances, nodes and anti-notes. I tried many times to explain it but stopping when I could see it meant nothing to him. I also tried to explain speaker directivity and dispersion due to me saying "don't point your speaker cab at me!!" protests. Thinking back now, I suspect he could only think in academic terms (what is written in textbooks) with no connection or sense to how these were applied in the real world. I said to him once, "if I didn't know you were Phd in Physics I'd think you are a slow learner." Back to Basschat - the best (amateur) bass player I've seen would turn up promptly at the gig, set up on stage then spend no more that 10 mins getting a well balance sound (knob twiddling). I recall he had a 1x15" and a 4x10" two cab setup every time and always sounded right where it needed to be. I never heard him complain the sound was bad at a gig, he seemed to have the "ear" and knew how to get the right sound.

Fascinating.. I can only think there is some kind of insulation fault on that half of the PUP. I'm sure your Tech guy did all the necessary tests. Mine would be to check for continuity between any part of audio circuit and the pole pieces. It's highly unlikely that will be the fault but... that what shouts at me From what I gather about that type of PUP there is no metal contact with the pole pieces, but I do know the enamel on the verrry fine PUP wire corrodes. .. Fascinating

9 years... anyway. Yeh to make it worse, I wanted some scores for Queen songs, so I went to Hal Leonard (well known music publisher) when the song book arrived I was very disappointed to see they had rearranged the music to the point of it being almost worthless! Crazy Little Thing is as we all know in D and Hal Leonard score has it in C (not just a transpose as the chords were modified also). Other scores have being re-arranged as well. I wanted Seven Seas Of Rhye, only to see it had been "adjusted" - so it was back to the usual way of picking it out. I know the reason why, for a specific instrument, I got the one for piano and it was rearranged for home playing not as per the record. So now I have to see the score to be sure it's the correct arrangement before I buy (online). The "Band scores" seem to the best when available. Those where there's a score for every instrument. There are a few places online that sell scores, with a preview but I can never be sure if they are genuine (authorised) sellers or just a scam. I've just had a quick look at Stretta Music - then a Queen book, that looks more like it! Seems I need Faber not Hal Leonard

Guys, let's move off the "sh!t sandwich" debate, it's not my style anyway. I've had a chat with my singer friend. Did a bit of fancy footwork founded on trust and respect. I suggested that I do not get involved with his existing band with a list of "passive" but truthful reasons and resurrected the idea of setting up a separate band. He seems very pleased with this idea. I came up with a band name which he seemed to like. Now looking for band members...usual nonsense looming. 🙄 Thanks for the opinions, quite varied really, some gentle and some brutal. I can take what might work and apply in context Sean's suggestion reminded me of "it's about you not me" which I think works the best in my situation. Gentle souls don't deserve to be kicked, just because the kicker is low on skill. Besides, bands should be fun not a bruising experience, some would say, if it's not fun why do it? A little off topic maybe, I've found if a really caring chap has been though a heavy divorce, lost a child, living with serious long term illness it brings a heavy burden. I don't know if my friend has these (I care not to enquire) but I detect there is something. Be nice, if you can't be nice then f**k off! 😆

As a bystander, with no agenda. My band had similar situation with our singer, a large robust man. He said, the equivalent of "..I’ve got a lot going on and I’m not in a good place." I was shocked, this was unexpected, however I knew not to press the matter, rather I stood back, so to give him "space". I stayed in the background. I see this as a stress reaction: "I’m off on holiday tomorrow... because this isn’t going to hang over my holiday" - ya need a holiday dood! 🤗 A part of that process is forcing the brain to switch off regarding domestic matters. It's not easy if the brain has been overworked for a long time. *holiday mission statement* I must ignore events at home... pass the sun cream, this sun is hot..😎 I'd like an ice cream.🍦 And this is a pressure relief valve, when the stress gets too much, or a person has lost interest in the band, will issue this stock reply: "..several dates and times, but the singer couldn’t make any of them." Stress is a monster. I think the singer needs time and no pressure. Maybe just a "we're here" type of message. Keep the door open. Prepare for the fall out, if the singer has to leave or perhaps they just need a few months off. Venting frustration with sharp actions tends to be counter productive. As mentioned, turn the phone off and tune into... BTW: I like "Hanlon's razor" not heard that before.

I went to see my friend's band last night in a pub. He would tell me how great his lead guitarist is, how almost famous the drummer was.. etc. He's not a bad singer himself and a really nice guy. So I was interested, in a nut shell, even after the first song... terrible 😝 They are all experienced players but.. awful, obviously people were leaving, I could feel those who remained of the audience were gently mocking them. A band that can empty a pub. 🙄 Asked what do I think... erm.. what can I say? I tried to find good points but there weren't any. What can I say to the guy?? 😳 I really don't want to upset him. My view was: 1.this "great lead guitarist" was just another standard noisy power chord+fast meandering solo type, usual standard for a pub band. 2.drummer's kit sounded floppy, snare was saggy and his playing average at best 3.singer (my friend) - vocals mostly not good, some was truly horrible, thing is I know he can sing really well. 4.bassman was average, just plodding away with no real expression, as in, every note was a full length 8th, his sound was ok. 5.the song set was an odd mixture of pop and rock covers, I know some bands do their versions and usually "murder" a song I was thinking of doing guest appearances in their band but having heard them, I wouldn't want to ruin my reputation 😄 - I could do the "musical director" role but again that would appear out of place. I think they are too stuck in their way to want change. One suggestion was just to form a new band with my friend the singer, I could then steer the ship without offending anyone. I'm sure many of you have seen similar situations, any suggestions on how to approach this sensitive issue? The easy one is just to stay away, keep out of it.