I will only play in keys of C, G and D. If you want me to play in other keys like E, E flat, B Flat it'll cost you extra. I will also charge extra to learn difficult songs with lots of notes. I expect to be paid a minimum of £10 for turning up to rehearsals. If you have any weird key changes in your songs I will just sit out those bits. I have some songs I have written and will expect you to learn and play them at gigs. If I join your band I will suggest songs from my repertoire and expect you to take on quite a few as I'm not prepared to learn all your material. If your guitarist can't play without chorus effect turned on constantly and is stuck in the eighties, I'm not interested. I will only play gigs within the M25. I will want a minimum payment of £100 per gig. Please make sure your gigs are on the H37 or 218 bus routes or you can pick me up from my place. I'm not one for helping out unloading, setting up and loading kit and I will expect someone to help me with my gear. I like to play at full volume for 20 minutes to get warmed up while you are setting up. If you object to the noise I will just walk out. I normally turn up at venue around 25 mins before performance and just play and then I'll expect a lift home before 11pm as I have a curfew. I can't play at certain venues for legal reasons. I get a lot of offers for my services so don't be disappointed if I turn you down. If you are a "60s Band Reforming" take your empty promises of world tours, fame and riches and shove 'em where the Sun don't shine! I will expect to hear you play beforehand as I normally only play with very skilled musicians and I will want to know what you do for a living as I don't approve of some occupations like banking, lawyer, accountant, police etc. If you voted "Remain" don't bother contacting me. If any members of your band are clingy, constantly needing approval and are over familiar and think that they work harder than the rest, forget it...I'm not a social worker. I will be moving house soon and need somewhere to crash. It would only be for a few months. I can't pay any rent but I would expect one of my muso brothers to help out. My gear is at the pawn shop so I'll need an advance to retrieve it. Also, I won't play with anyone called Harry.