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Need some advice on a composition


PoorQuentin
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Hello, everyone. New guy here. Here's the deal. I am a total amateur, with very limited knowledge of theory (I have been planning to start music lessons again for ages, but for the time being it is financially impossible for me). Anyway, I have been trying to compose a little song and I had a small disagreement with my band mate. I am a little embarrassed to share it for several reasons, but I could use some advice. If anyone's willing to give me a hand, I would really appreciate it.

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