4-string-thing Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 I quit the band I was in about 8 weeks ago, coz I didn't like the guitarist and was fed up with him abusing everyone (his idea of humour) Now, I'm depressed because there are no suitable bands out there and I'm sick of playing at home alone. So depressed in fact, that I'm thinking of selling all my gear and giving up music altogether! Anyone else ever felt like this? If so, how did you get yourself out of it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molan Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Apart from dredging every single 'find a musician' type website for another band, I'd get my favourite songs queued up and then play along with them all - LOUD. Always works for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waynepunkdude Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 [quote name='molan' post='716109' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:40 PM']Apart from dredging every single 'find a musician' type website for another band, I'd get my favourite songs queued up and then play along with them all - LOUD. Always works for me [/quote] +1 Sometimes more fun than gigging and you don't need to take your gear out of the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 I think most musicians go through similar. I had a phase in my late teens where there were a couple of dry spells. At the time it felt like it went on forever but actually the longest break was about 9 months. Stay positive and something will come along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Listen mate, this happens to most people once in a while. It certainly has to me. Normally, when things go pear-shaped. You quit a band, or it breaks up, or you can't find anyone to play with that suits your needs. Believe me, something will turn up, usually sooner than you think. If you sell your gear, you'll regret it and then end up buying it all again and if you're happy with what you've got and can afford to keep it, then do because the chances are you won't find the right stuff again at the right price. I don't know if you were in a gigging band or a just-for-fun band. Try to get something going with a couple of mates to keep the fingers moving and the brain cells turning over. Try and use the time you now have constructively. Practice your instrument, get out and meet some musos in pubs / clubs / jam nights etc. Check out the music shop ads and the like. I don't want this to come across all Norman Tebbit, but this is a common thing you're experiencing. Something always comes up. Best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molan Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 [quote name='waynepunkdude' post='716111' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:42 PM']+1 Sometimes more fun than gigging and you don't need to take your gear out of the house.[/quote] I'm actually sitting here at the moment kinda doing this - seriously sad about Teddy Pendergrass so I've got his greatest hits album on and am driving the wife slightly crazy playing along with him. Just hit Love TKO - one of my favourites Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarky Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 I had to wait months between my current band and my last band. It was disheartening replying to loads of bassist wanted ads and getting knock-backs (all on account of my very advanced age, 44 at that time! "sorry mate but we like going to pub on a Friday and we don't think someone your age would fit in" etc). I carried on playing at home and eventually got an audition for my current band and we have been going strong for two years now. Just hang in there and like the other posters have said, play along to good music and you will be fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichF Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 [quote name='4-string-thing' post='716062' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:05 PM']I quit the band I was in about 8 weeks ago, coz I didn't like the guitarist and was fed up with him abusing everyone (his idea of humour) Now, I'm depressed because there are no suitable bands out there and I'm sick of playing at home alone. So depressed in fact, that I'm thinking of selling all my gear and giving up music altogether! Anyone else ever felt like this? If so, how did you get yourself out of it?[/quote] Mate, I had similar experience - caught me at a vulnerable time just after Uni - I was getting somewhere with my band but they were fcukwits, descended quickly after that with 2-3 much less successful attempts to set something else up. Gave up, depressed, sold and gave away most of my equipment (thankfully left myself my trusty precision and an SWR combo) and got a "proper" job and family. In fact never touched them for nearly 15 years until relatively recently. Admittedly only back playing at home, thinking vaguely about setting up or joining a sh*t middle aged w*nkers (which I am now) cover band just to relive the glory. ABSOLUTELY HATE MYSELF for what I did (I so want my pre-EB Stingray back it hurts!). So all I can say is that if there is any way to play yourself out of your depression then do it cause when you're an old fcuker like me last thing you want is a hole in your heart where the music used to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WalMan Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 [quote name='4-string-thing' post='716062' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:05 PM']Anyone else ever felt like this?[/quote] - Yes [quote name='4-string-thing' post='716062' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:05 PM']If so, how did you get yourself out of it?[/quote] - I'll let you know Last night was OK (particularly with the new strings on - I hadn't realised how old the previous set had got!!!) but the drummer & I get a bit p155ed off with trying to organise stuff and getting knock backs from others like a blanket ban on gigs on bank holiday weekends - got offered one of two that should have been a busy night and had to knock them back Trouble is I am in a deep rut and seriously ticked off with everything at the mo - probably just SAD and hopefully I'll snap out of it soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnolia Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 This is something I have recently gone though. Following the split of my last band I took a lot of it to heart. It knocked my confidence quite a lot and I just felt like 'what’s the point'. I sold everything I had bass-wise, took off my bass player hat and concentrated on something else for the last year or so. I have missed playing and being up in front of people, but I must admit being away from it all completely gave me the time to re-evaluate what I want from it. Now I have that desire to play again and am just starting to get back into it all. My new years resolution was to make a go of it all again this year (New Year, new decade and all that) If you feel like taking a break then take a break. I think it has done me the world of good. I regret selling up all my gear though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizbat Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 8 WEEKS! and you,re thinking of throwing in the towel!!! Jesus! I waited nine years to find a band worth getting involved again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumelow Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 do it. if it isnt making you happy then whats the point? i bet youll get 2 weeks down the line and buy new gear anyway [quote name='4-string-thing' post='716062' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:05 PM']I quit the band I was in about 8 weeks ago, coz I didn't like the guitarist and was fed up with him abusing everyone (his idea of humour) Now, I'm depressed because there are no suitable bands out there and I'm sick of playing at home alone. So depressed in fact, that I'm thinking of selling all my gear and giving up music altogether! Anyone else ever felt like this? If so, how did you get yourself out of it?[/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizbat Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 That sounds like a plan!! Thing is, it sometimes takes ages to find a band that fires you and if you can,t wait then you are knackered as things don,t always work the way we want them to. Thats where 'Gear Aquisition Syndrome' comes in... :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frank Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Bands come and go definately dont sell your gear use the extra free time to learn some music youve always wanted to do and like everyone has said get out of the house meet people search the want ads and all that just dont let the attitude of one dipstick musician spoil music for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elom Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 [quote name='leschirons' post='716116' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:46 PM']I don't want this to come across all Norman Tebbit[/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepurpleblob Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 (edited) It's not just music is it? If you care about something enough to give a sh*t, every so often it's not going to go your way and you'll get down about it. It's up to you, but I guess you can either play through it or stick everything under the bed and see how you feel in a few weeks/months time. Selling your stuff sounds a bit rash. You'd only spend the money on crap Edited January 18, 2010 by thepurpleblob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderbird13 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 +1 to everything above - something always turns up eventually. Take this time as a break to focus on what you want . You say there are no bands around which are suitable but suitable in what way - type of music played, personality, ambition or on ability ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purpleblob Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 [quote name='RichardFoggo' post='716129' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:51 PM']Mate, I had similar experience - caught me at a vulnerable time just after Uni - I was getting somewhere with my band but they were fcukwits, descended quickly after that with 2-3 much less successful attempts to set something else up. Gave up, depressed, sold and gave away most of my equipment (thankfully left myself my trusty precision and an SWR combo) and got a "proper" job and family. In fact never touched them for nearly 15 years until relatively recently. Admittedly only back playing at home, thinking vaguely about setting up or joining a sh*t middle aged w*nkers (which I am now) cover band just to relive the glory. ABSOLUTELY HATE MYSELF for what I did (I so want my pre-EB Stingray back it hurts!). So all I can say is that if there is any way to play yourself out of your depression then do it cause when you're an old fcuker like me last thing you want is a hole in your heart where the music used to be.[/quote] I've had a very similar experience to RichardFoggo particularily with the regrets of not playing after my last band split. My band just "naturally" wound down due to not being able to find a (good) drummer. I lost all interest in playing and pretty much stopped altogether. Luckily I'm a hoarder by nature, so kept all my gear, but did go off and get a career and a family and so on, so had no time (or I suppose inclination) to play. Now as an old git trying to start playing again it's so damn hard setting up time with other similar musicians as we all have fairly full lives with work and families etc. and I do look back and think of all the time lost not playing. So I totally agree with RichardFoggo - just try and keep playing as you very well regret it if in 20 years time you look back at what 've missed out on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tee Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Do you come up with your own stuff and or play other instruments? I'm really enjoying my band at the moment, as i feel we're really progressing. However, at some point it will end. When it does, time that was dedicated to the band wil be dedicated to recording my own material. At the moment, i just voice memo record ideas and keep them. Eventually i plan to record them properly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 One of the advantages of reading and knowing theory and stuff is that you get to play in lots of situations and with lots of different people. It means you are never reliant upon one band and, consequently, never get in a rut like the one you describe. I recently knowcked back a lucrative gig over musical difference but still had other irons in the fire and more since. Use the time to learn to read and get some theory under your belt that makes you an attractive proposition to jobbing musos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jigster Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 [quote name='leschirons' post='716116' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:46 PM']Listen mate, this happens to most people once in a while. It certainly has to me. Normally, when things go pear-shaped. You quit a band, or it breaks up, or you can't find anyone to play with that suits your needs. Believe me, something will turn up, usually sooner than you think. If you sell your gear, you'll regret it and then end up buying it all again and if you're happy with what you've got and can afford to keep it, then do because the chances are you won't find the right stuff again at the right price. I don't know if you were in a gigging band or a just-for-fun band. Try to get something going with a couple of mates to keep the fingers moving and the brain cells turning over. Try and use the time you now have constructively. Practice your instrument, get out and meet some musos in pubs / clubs / jam nights etc. Check out the music shop ads and the like. I don't want this to come across all Norman Tebbit, but this is a common thing you're experiencing. Something always comes up. Best of luck.[/quote] yes to this - especially the jam nights and meeting other musos - also, any local music forums can join? also how far prepared to travel, Leicester's in shouting distance of quite a few places that might have other bands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teej Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I think these sort of feelings creep in when we feel powerless. Try stepping out of your normal stomping grounds. Maybe try an established jam or open mic in another town - or in another part of town if you live somewhere big. Consider stepping outside your genre comfort zone (but still something you like). You'll probably feel like you're taking more control over your musical destiny; you'll have some fresh new experiences to widen your horizons; you'll make some new contacts; you'll take on a challenge or 2 to wake yourself up a bit musically. Even if nothing concrete comes from actions like these in terms of a new band, you'll have taken an active role and swept away some cobwebs, hopefully cheering yourself up along the way. Stick with it and good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russ Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 [quote name='elom' post='716247' date='Jan 18 2010, 12:42 AM'][/quote] Ohhh god! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
essexbasscat Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 (edited) Things are way too complicated these days When everything turns to sh*t, you learn the blues. You don't pack up your music, 'cos it's the language you speak. You've just got to learn to talk about the things in your life with your guitar, the way you do when your happy tell you troubles to your guitar and let that do the talking that's what the blues is for if you want to see how it's done, watch the film crossroads with ralph macchio about robert johnson T Edited January 18, 2010 by essexbasscat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicman20 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 [quote name='Clarky' post='716125' date='Jan 17 2010, 10:50 PM']I had to wait months between my current band and my last band. It was disheartening replying to loads of bassist wanted ads and getting knock-backs (all on account of my very advanced age, 44 at that time! "sorry mate but we like going to pub on a Friday and we don't think someone your age would fit in" etc). I carried on playing at home and eventually got an audition for my current band and we have been going strong for two years now. Just hang in there and like the other posters have said, play along to good music and you will be fine[/quote] This is good advice. Im inbetween bands now, but eventually you WILL find what YOU want. Just give it some time, and dont give up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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