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You Know You're A Bassist When


JBassist
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[quote name='BigAlonBass' post='526080' date='Jun 27 2009, 05:08 PM']When you're stood on stage naked, painted blue with yellow polka-dots, hair on fire, slapping the strings with your erect p*nis, and people are STILL watching the flaming Lead Guitard and Singer. :) :rolleyes: :lol:[/quote]


[quote name='Zoe_BillySheehan' post='527090' date='Jun 28 2009, 09:18 PM']If it means growing a beard so i can keep playing bass..
bring it on :D haha

Z
x[/quote]

A bearded lady playing bass would likely get more attention than the lead guitard. Maybe I'll wear a dress next time we gig.

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[quote name='BigAlonBass' post='526080' date='Jun 27 2009, 05:08 PM']When you're stood on stage naked, painted blue with yellow polka-dots, hair on fire, slapping the strings with your erect p*nis, and people are STILL watching the flaming Lead Guitard and Singer. :) :rolleyes: :lol:[/quote]

You forgot to say sacrificing a live goat.

Edited by pegman1
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... in a three hour performance (Bruce Springsteen in Hyde Park tonight) the time on the large side screens is as follows

Bruce 2.40 hours
Little Stevie/Nils Logren on guitar 10 mins
Clarence Clemons on sax 5 mins
Random backing singers, violinsts, drummer 4 mins 45 seconds
Bass player (unacknowledged!) 15 seconds

PS, the bass was the loudest instrument and he played a black Warwick, whoever he was!
PPS, Bruce is not my bag (went for Mrs Clarky's benefit) but you do get value for money

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[quote name='MacDaddy' post='526086' date='Jun 27 2009, 05:19 PM']when you understand why the C string on a 6 string bass is a C, and not a B, as on a guitar.[/quote]

That's the string on guitar I call the "w***" string...it's not even perfectly tuned!

[quote name='josh3184' post='526064' date='Jun 27 2009, 04:39 PM']the pads of your fingers can be used to crush concrete[/quote]

+1 to that!
Beat me to it...

[quote name='mike.be' post='526524' date='Jun 28 2009, 09:38 AM']when you can talk in a bass forum about eveything bass orientated with out the jealously, ignorance and ego of guitards.[/quote]

As a player of guitar too, I have been on a few guitar forums...Hmmm not so nice...Also performing...guitarists will look at you with hopes of killing.
Glad I'm a bassist 1st!

[quote name='escholl' post='526408' date='Jun 28 2009, 12:01 AM']when you actually know the difference between instrument cable, and speaker cable.[/quote]

+1
Stopped my guitarist from blowing up his orange when I pointed out he'd go below 4ohms too!

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Mine would have to be...When you look at your guitarist funny cause he says "I have to tap the strings hard for them to sound"...And he's using distortion too!!!
And you...well your using a clean sound and some huge ass strings...no complaints. :)

Edited by Kongo
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[quote name='stu_g' post='526290' date='Jun 27 2009, 09:34 PM']when you have an obsession with keeping your fingernails short[/quote]

Oh so true... I've just removed the acrylics off my right hand fingers... I was having fun playing acoustic guitar fingerstyle, but while they were on, I couldn't play my bass fingerstyle...

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[quote name='RhysP' post='528250' date='Jun 29 2009, 11:23 PM']When you are shunned by polite society & have to seek refuge on the internet with others of your kind......
:)[/quote]

:rolleyes: :lol:

Got another one: when you have to pay more for a single string than the guitarist pays for a whole bloody set.

Edited by leftybassman392
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...when your guitarist tells you "you play guitar like a bass player".

...when a sound engineer suggests you avoid playing the E-string because vibrations through the stage a feeding back through the PA! :rolleyes:

...when a guitarist tells you you're not a "proper" bassist because you use a pick... :)

...when a punter says you have "better technique that Chris Squire" because you don't play with a pick!

Jon.

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[quote name='Bassassin' post='529142' date='Jun 30 2009, 09:58 PM']...when a punter says you have "better technique that Chris Squire" because you don't play with a pick![/quote]

people, even other bassists sometimes, think i am literally amazing because i play with all four fingers when i play fingerstyle -- but i always think, if they payed attention to what i was playing, instead of how i was playing it, they'd realize i was utter rubbish! ^_^

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[quote name='Bassassin' post='529142' date='Jun 30 2009, 09:58 PM']...when a punter says you have "better technique that Chris Squire" because you don't play with a pick!

Jon.[/quote]

Isn't it annoying when a punter says they enjoyed what you were doing....but you know you were utter sh*te!

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