First person to see will buy…

[Doctor J]

I always keep an eye out for the three key words of those who are trying it on, a game of ad bingo, if you will.

 

Original

 

Vintage

 

Rare

 

If you get all three in the same ad, frequently for some old POC you couldn't give away in the 80's, you win!

[Newfoundfreedom]

I lived in Lincolnshire for several years, and still occasionally see ads from over that way. One of their favourite phrases is "Need gone"

 

Like that's some incentive to buy. Then they wonder why they get lowball offers. 

 

Strange folk in that part of the world. 

 

They also say brought when they mean bought which used to absolutely boil my p#ss!

 

Anyway........ Deep breath........ Don't live there any more. 😆

[LukeFRC]

"I love this and it's the best bass I've ever played but..."  - when you know they bought it off eBay/gumtree a month ago for £800 less than they are trying to sell it for. 

[LukeFRC]

11 hours ago, jezzaboy said:

Japanese lawsuit bass/guitar. This apparently makes it great, rare and valuable.

 

 

I get frustrated that the idea that for any given year Fender Japan made basses over a wide range of price points ... yet when they come over here all the attributes of the most desirable ones get given to all of them... 
For instance, some of the first run of Squier JV Stratocasters reportedly had US parts, for a short while.... yet how often have you seen Fender JV basses being sold with "US pickups and hardware"??! All the bloody time

[Bunion]

“Cheap as chips” 

 

Have you been to the chip shop lately? You’d need a loan to buy for a family of 4 😄

[Doctor J]

Let is bow our heads in admiration of the sanctity and holiness of the "DAN SMITH ERA!!!" which, yea, must be shouted verily in ads for all manner of decent to utterly dire output. This most sacred phrase which, lest we forget, covers the time he arrived when, as he said himself, there was practically no quality control in place, up to the time they shut down the factory so they could move and start all over again is surely all the histrionics one needs to make a blind purchase in confidence, no?

Edited May 14, 2022 by Doctor J

[Bassfinger]

Not so much for instruments, but...

 

Serviced religiously makes me chuckle.  They forgot to add "once, in 2004".

 

Also, "it has a minor such and such fault, but its an easy/cheap fix." Really? Then why don't you get it fixed easily and cheaply and earn top dollar with your sale?

 

Motorway miles. And the point being what, exactly? That might be nice for the transmission, but not so nice for an engine that wears best when its speed and load is varied.

 

Same family from new.  Translation - 3 generatikns of kids have thrashed it.

 

I can't say ive seen it so much with instruments, but the pricing sometimes puzzles me.  Take a bass that still in production. A seller may have a 2002 model of that bass (I use that year as I've seen this elsewhere recently) and they're advertising is as 'vintage', even though an identical one is still in production. They also priced it only a few dozen quid less than new, so why they expect anyone to buy their used one for that cash when a new one that costs barely any more, with warranty, which can be painlessly delivered to their door is anyones guess.

[Burns-bass]

I hope this becomes a thread that’s used for good. If we all review it we can write the sort of adverts that are informative without resorting to cliches.

 

I’m as susceptible to that as anyone else.

[Bleat]

" This is without doubt the best ever, most fantastic bass / effect pedal / amp I've ever owned, ever. "  Yeah? can't be all that if you're selling it then.

[musicbassman]

For Sale!

1962 Fender Strat with ultra rare misprint logo!

Excellent investment! 

Value can only go up!

[paul_c2]

I think they should ban Squiers being listed as "Squier by Fender" or any reference to Fender, because it makes searching for an actual Fender, tedious. Maybe the search term should be:

 

title LIKE "%Fender%" AND (title NOT LIKE "%Squi%" AND body NOT LIKE "%Squi%")

[Burns-bass]

Another thing that annoys me is people taking photos of a guitar or bass on a hard case then telling me it’s not included at the bottom of the advert.

[nilorius]

9 hours ago, NickA said:

"Fast neck". what is that?

It means that Jaco Pastorius is still alive.

[tauzero]

16 hours ago, Burns-bass said:

Ahh. Is it a northern thing? I’d understand WHYG (what have you got), but WHY was always a mystery!

 

Depends on your definition of "northern". There was a free magazine called Solihull & District WHY a while ago, and Solihull is firmly in the Midlands (the bit of England that all northerners and southerners forget exists, but if it didn't, Bristol would be next to Liverpool).

[Woodinblack]

47 minutes ago, tauzero said:

Depends on your definition of "northern". 

 

North of bristol works for me.

 

I did a search for something the other day on eBay, had a whole load of results, all the same basically, and one of them said RARE! which looked even funnier in a list of identical things

[Burns-bass]

A coffee with a fellow bass buyer elicited these:

 

"Rare as hen's teeth"

 

"You'll never see another like this"

 

"The original owner has assured me everything is all original"

 

"I'm not sure about the finish, but it looks original to me"

 

"I've never had to adjust the truss rod but it looks fine"

 

 

 

 

 

[paul_c2]

Ironically, if its a private sale (not trade), the ONLY thing a seller could do which could is illegal is misdescribe the item. A dealer or trader has many more responsibilities eg in cars, it needs to be roadworthy, within 6 months its assumed to have be the dealer's fault if it has a problem unless proven otherwise, etc etc but a private seller can simply say not much on the advert and the deal is done. Putting something flowery onto the description opens the door for that "misdescribed" comeback.

[Newfoundfreedom]

2 minutes ago, paul_c2 said:

Ironically, if its a private sale (not trade), the ONLY thing a seller could do which could is illegal is misdescribe the item. A dealer or trader has many more responsibilities eg in cars, it needs to be roadworthy, within 6 months its assumed to have be the dealer's fault if it has a problem unless proven otherwise, etc etc but a private seller can simply say not much on the advert and the deal is done. Putting something flowery onto the description opens the door for that "misdescribed" comeback.

 

Which brings me on to another gem.

 

Sold as seen.

 

Aka kn#ckered!

[paul_c2]

"Trade sale"; or "sold for spares/repairs". There is no such possibility of simply labelling a sale as a trade sale - its defined by whether both parties are in the trade, or are (retail) members of the public. If they're normal non-trade customers, they have legal rights, they can't just be signed away! 

[Doctor J]

"My tech had a look at the crack and says it's not serious"

[jezzaboy]

On roughly the same subject, what really makes me wonder is people putting gear up for sale when it needs a good clean or dust. Puts me off right away.

 

 

[uk_lefty]

"custom" must be part of the ad template for guitars in eBay. Many described as "custom" are either not at all in any way customised or custom made. Some are badly modified though.

 

"Hand made". Yup, your Yamaha Pacifica was handmade. Well, someone picked it up by hand at some point in the production process.

 

"Collection only DO NOT contact me asking about delivery". Items described like this are often located in a dragons backside, guarded by hungry dobermans in the hardest to reach part of some remote Scottish island. Or just some sh!thole somewhere around the country that's a pain to get to. Either way, if I'm willing to send a courier and pay the asking price and nobody else is biting why wouldn't you sell it? 

 

"Never gigged" what are you implying happens at gigs? Why would it be better if it just had the stuffing knocked out of it at home by your kids, but NEVER GIGGED. Why does it matter? It's either in good condition or it's not.

Edited May 14, 2022 by uk_lefty

[dudewheresmybass]

"If you're reading this, you know how good it is"

Really? 

[Bassfinger]

2 hours ago, paul_c2 said:

If they're normal non-trade customers, they have legal rights, they can't just be signed away! 

 

That doesn't stop Bombsite Motors from trying it though!

[paul_c2]

51 minutes ago, Bassfinger said:

 

That doesn't stop Bombsite Motors from trying it though!

 

No, but they'll be working hard, even with "bending" the law, for a very marginal gain on each car. I used to date a car dealer who sold nearly new high-end German cars at a franchised dealer - £30-50k price range. It was like falling off a log - the cars were so good they sold themselves, it was just a bit of admin per sale for £1000-1500 profit each time. 

 

Buyer expectations on cars under £2000 are sky high compared to what you'll get for the money, and anything under £2k these days is considered "banger". The consumer protection offered is so good these days that a dealer who operates in that area really has their work cut out, and will end up upside down half the time too. Try to operate under £2k with the "trade only spares/repairs" rubbish and you'll be constantly dealing with scumbags, chancers, small time drug dealers, etc etc many of whom are well connected in the locality on Facebook, some of whom own (and aren't afraid to use) a baseball bat, etc.