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Crimes against rhymes


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15 hours ago, mr4stringz said:

This from American Life by Madonna. And she raps it, to a fashion. Disgraceful.

 

I'm drinking a Soy latte
I get a double shotay
It goes right through my body
And you know I'm satisfied

I drive my mini cooper
And I'm feeling super-dooper
Yo they tell I'm a trooper
And you know I'm satisfied

I do yoga and pilates
And the room is full of hotties
So I'm checking out the bodies
And you know I'm satisfied

 

 

Where's the "vomit" emoji when you need it? 

I can't stand Madonna. I have no idea why she exists in public consciousness beyond the early 90s.

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11 hours ago, Geek99 said:

He was an English teacher, wasn’t he? He may well have read nabukov

Depends on how strict they were! For my A Level English literature the exam board begrudgingly allowed me to analyse two American books, since they were not English-English, but like most things they decided to make rules after the course had started. You definitely weren't allowed Russian or any other fiction originally written in another language. Probably fair, a lot of translation is not literal so different versions of the same foreign classics may be translated differently. Anyhow... Nobody mentioned Des Ree.. "I'm not afraid of a ghost, I'd rather have a piece of toast" utter tripe. 

Or U2 "like a mole, living in a hole" on Elevation. One of those songs that comes across a bit like Nik Kershaws the Riddle where he just sang nonsense to fit a tune he liked intending to write proper lyrics later. Or Bono is just an derrière. 

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16 hours ago, Jus Lukin said:

From I'll Never Fall In Love Again by Dionne Warwick:

What do you get when you kiss a guy?

You get enough germs to catch pneumonia,

And after you do, he'll never phone ya.

 

I always find that 'Mt. Kilimanjaro' feels shoehorned into Africa by Toto, although that's not a rhyme so much as just merrily shoving syllables in since they technically scan.

Who else could find a place in a song for Kiliminjaro? I thought they did pretty good with that one!

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31 minutes ago, ubit said:

Who else could find a place in a song for Kiliminjaro? I thought they did pretty good with that one!

"We set sail a year and a day ago
Making our way to Kilimanjaro"

Kilimanjaro - Teardrop Explodes

And also a candidate for a terrible rhyme :)

 

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Just now, FinnDave said:

Nik Turner managed a classic that I can never get out of my head for its sheer cheek. From xitintoday:

Am I still on Venus? Though this does feel Atlantisy
Have I been asleep? Is this just a fantasy?

I challenge you to work the word 'Atlantisy' into a sentence this week! 🤣

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1 hour ago, MHMSWC#03 said:

I challenge you to work the word 'Atlantisy' into a sentence this week! 🤣

Zealandia, a scientifically accepted continent that is now 94% submerged under the Pacific Ocean, surrounding the areas of New Zealand and New Caledonia, and quite Atlantisy, except that it's real..

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1 hour ago, MHMSWC#03 said:

Fresh Prince ....

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror

Dubious! 😆

 

Relies on the American pronunciation of "mirror" being "meeyurh" which they all do, weirdly. 

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1 minute ago, uk_lefty said:

Relies on the American pronunciation of "mirror" being "meeyurh" which they all do, weirdly. 

Can add it to the thousands of misheard lyrics from my youth still floating around in my brain. God bless the internet and its depths of useless yet important information.

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Here are some by the ladies.  Take this gem from Carly Simon 

'You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht/Your hat strategically dipped below one eye, your scarf it was apricot' . Then again how many songs contain 'strategically'?

Now this from Mariah Carey is well lame - I'm like a bowl of gumbo/You ain't hotter than this, I'm what they play in the clubo' from erm 'Dont Stop'

And we cant forget Madge. 'I don't like cities but I like New York/other places make me feel like a dork' (I love New York)

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Ladies and Gentlemen, you may close the thread.

I give you "Little James" penned by that well known wordsmith, Liam Gallagher...

Little James
We're all the same
Always seem to look to us
We weren't meant to be grown ups
Thank you for your smile
You make it all worth while to us

Live for your toys
Even though they make noise
Have you ever played with plasticine
Even tried a trampoline
Thank you for your smile
You make it all worthwhile to us

I'm singing this song
For you and your mom
And that's all
It wont be long
Before everyone is gone

Sailed out to sea
Your mom, you and me
You swam the oceans like a child
Life around us was so wild
Thank you for your smile
You make it all worth while to us
I'm singing this song
For you and your mom
And that's all
It wont be long
Before everyone is gone
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na

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Any time "I" is used instead of "me" to make a rhyme as in many songs where the line ends with " to you and I" or "for you and I" I tend to tense up and yell "me, you idiot" and have a private little rage. It won't change and some good songs use this ...sigh...🙄

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5 minutes ago, Barking Spiders said:

 

'You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht/Your hat strategically dipped below one eye, your scarf it was apricot' . Then again how many songs contain 'strategically'?

 

Well, it's a slow morning in the office so you just made me google it. The answer is: quite a few actually 😃

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18 minutes ago, Staggering on said:

Any time "I" is used instead of "me" to make a rhyme as in many songs where the line ends with " to you and I" or "for you and I" I tend to tense up and yell "me, you idiot" and have a private little rage. It won't change and some good songs use this ...sigh...🙄

Like in Me for a Me and tooth for a tooth?

That rages I as well

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