Crimes against rhymes

[Barking Spiders]

Listen to many songs and it's a tad squirm-inducing the way words have been crowbarred in, with the helping of a hefty steel-capped boot, to create a rhyming couplet. Sting has been responsible for a fair few mebbe this being the most pseud...

'It's no use, he sees her, He starts to shake and cough/Just like the old man in That book by Nabokov' (I've not read any Nabokov so this goes over my head)

And there's this gem from Rhythm is A Dancer by Snap: 'I’m serious as cancer / when I say rhythm is a dancer'. Nice!

Duran Duran have penned several WTFs, praps best known being ' And fiery demons all dance when you walk through that door / Don’t say you’re easy on me, you’re about as easy as a nuclear war'. I take Simon Le Bon's word for it that nuclear wars aren't ..erm...that easy.

But Noel Gallagher has to take gold for beauts such as..

'Slowly walking down the hall, Faster than a cannonball / Where were you when we were getting high?' (Champagne Supernova)

'She’s got a sister, and god only knows how I’ve missed her/On the palm of her hand is a blister' (She's Electric)

Cause I've been standing at the station, In need of education in the rain /You made no preparation For my reputation once again
The sink is full of fishes/She's got dirty dishes on the brain / And my dog's been itchin', Itchin' in the kitchen once again (Some Might Say)

bring 'em on..

 

[Nail Soup]

2 minutes ago, Barking Spiders said:

'It's no use, he sees her, He starts to shake and cough/Just like the old man in That book by Nabokov' (I've not read any Nabokov so this goes over my head)

Sting may not have read Nabakov either!

[Nail Soup]

I'm not keen on the 'self-rhyme'.... see example from Black Sabbath War Pigs:

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses

 

[TheGreek]

To be fair to Duran Duran and Mr Gallagher they do acknowledge that they were using copious amounts of Cocaine when these songs were written.

(I must state here that I do not condone the use of recreational drugs, even though I accept that David Bowie's best work was done while using illicit substances).

[Jus Lukin]

-

Edited March 14, 2022 by Jus Lukin

[MrCrane]

Tom Lehrer always managed to rhyme with a certain amount of style.

"I say a bygone should be a bygone

Let's make peace the way we did in Stanleyville and Saigon"

[ezbass]

Cough is the rhyme crime in Don’t Stand, as Nabokov wrote Lolita, which pertains to the main theme of the song - jailbait. Still clunky as F, though.

Edited April 6, 2021 by ezbass

[Lozz196]

My all time fave is a line in a song by Dragster:

Feel the pain in my skeleton (with skeleton pronounced skeletain)

[fretmeister]

Fred Durst rhymed "Leadership" with "leave your stinky poo".

 

To. The. Gallows!

[ezbass]

14 minutes ago, Jus Lukin said:

I always find that 'Mt. Kilimanjaro' feels shoehorned into Africa by Toto, although that's not a rhyme so much as just merrily shoving syllables in since they technically scan.

And the overly long Serengeti afterwards. In fact that whole, stanza is a mess.

[mr4stringz]

This from American Life by Madonna. And she raps it, to a fashion. Disgraceful.

 

I'm drinking a Soy latte
I get a double shotay
It goes right through my body
And you know I'm satisfied

I drive my mini cooper
And I'm feeling super-dooper
Yo they tell I'm a trooper
And you know I'm satisfied

I do yoga and pilates
And the room is full of hotties
So I'm checking out the bodies
And you know I'm satisfied

 

 

[Crawford13]

1 hour ago, Nail Soup said:

I'm not keen on the 'self-rhyme'.... see example from Black Sabbath War Pigs:

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses

 

I would agree that I normally don't like the same word being rhymed, however this would probably be an exception due to the different use of the word. I am uneducated enough to find this clever, thus accepting it 😂

[Doctor J]

Exactly. It's not like Paranoid where they didn't actually know what the word meant 😂

[Bobthedog]

Bei mir bist du schoen (should be pronounced similar to "showen" but in the song pronounced shane - to rhyme with...) Please let me explain

 

Annoys me every time I hear it.

[Nail Soup]

Blondie:

I will give you my finest hour.

The one I spent watching you shower.

 

Terrible rhyme. Great thought.

[Munurmunuh]

2 hours ago, MrCrane said:

Tom Lehrer always managed to rhyme with a certain amount of style.

"I say a bygone should be a bygone

Let's make peace the way we did in Stanleyville and Saigon"

Another of his:

when you attend a funeral / it is sad to think that soon or llll- / -lllater.....

[jrixn1]

22 minutes ago, Bobthedog said:

Bei mir bist du schoen (should be pronounced similar to "showen" but in the song pronounced shane - to rhyme with...) Please let me explain

 

Annoys me every time I hear it.

It's Yiddish though (originally), which does seem to rhyme with 'explain'.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSVw0iye9Gw

 

[ahpook]

Mrs Pook suggested this one:

"Your name is heard in high places
You know the Aga Khan
He sent you a race horse for Christmas
And you keep it just for fun, for a laugh, ha-ha-ha"

From "Where do you go to my lovely"

There's a twisted mastery to rhyming Khan with fun, or fahn.

[seashell]

2 hours ago, Nail Soup said:

I'm not keen on the 'self-rhyme'.... see example from Black Sabbath War Pigs:

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses

 

Also, as a friend pointed out to me once, Generals don't gather in masses. You get masses of troops but only one or two Generals.

(Great song though)

 

[ezbass]

Carly Simon rhyming apricot with gavotte in Your So Vain. Just don’t.

[NickD]

I knew my teenage affair with Iron Maiden was over when I heard 'Living on a razors edge....balancing on a ledge', which to add insult to injury is repeated a number of times. As if either they didn't know it was stinky poo, or they did, but were trying to convince the listener it wasn't just an awful mistake by using it over and over.

They were brilliant until that moment, and awful forever after, like that one line broke the spell. 

[NoRhino]

I nominate any and all singers who sing a word such as plane, train, rain and rhyme it incorrectly with again pronounced agen.

 

[Cuzzie]

The only band that have no crimes against Rhymes is Dio

All of them are epic

 

But Chris DeBurgh - this has always grated

I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance,
They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance,

[Geek99]

4 hours ago, Nail Soup said:

Sting may not have read Nabakov either!

He was an English teacher, wasn’t he? He may well have read nabukov

[Mykesbass]

Love, love me do
You know I love you
I'll always be true
So please Love me do