Phil Starr Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) On 29/01/2020 at 12:04, Lozz196 said: You never know who was the instigator on things like this, so rather than burning bridges with all of them I’d just reply and say thanks for letting me know, wish you all the best. That simple communication could really work to your favour years down the line when not expecting it. I had the same situation arise. Audition went well they'd auditioned a couple of others and pretty much told me I was best fit. The next day they told me they'd been in the pub discussing after the auditions and decided I was the one when a mate came over and said 'didn't know you were looking for bass, I'll do it'. I was pretty fed up but sent a polite email back. A year later I saw the old ad still up, pinged them and I was in the band on the basis of the year old audition, and probably the nice email. We've been gigging for a year, they are lovely people and had been completely honest and it's the happiest band I've ever been in. If I'd been band leader I might well have done what this band did. You need someone who can play but also someone who will fit in and a friend is a known quantity. TBH Carl may well be a problem if he's fallen out with another band, it may come round quicker than you think Edited January 30, 2020 by Phil Starr 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Although not quite the situation here, I have been asked back afterwards after I have failed an audition. My group before last I went to an audition, they got back to me with 'you were fine but this other guy was better for what we were looking for', which is obviously fine, that is the point of an audition, so i replied with ok, thanks, hope it all goes well. I even went to see them after that, and he was clearly better than me. A couple of months later they got back in touch to see if I was interested because he had disappeared - like completely disappeared, he didn't turn up for a gig and they never heard from him again, no falling out or disagreements or anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stewblack Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 26 minutes ago, Phil Starr said: TBH Carl may well be a problem if he's fallen out with another band, it may come round quicker than you think This is so true. I have been a Carl many times in the past, taking offence, flouncing out, nice as nine pence in the early days then a gloomy storm front dragging everyone down thereafter. I try really hard not to be a Carl these days, but it is a struggle sometimes. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmccombe7 Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Worst (funniest) audition i had was for a Celtic Rock band where i was one of about 6 players being auditioned in one of the bands (large) house. Line up was drummer, guitarist, singer / fiddle player with female fiddle player and a 2nd female vocalist. I went in late afternoon, saw the previous guy leave and was there dead on my allocated time. I had prepared the songs they asked which were mainly covers with a couple of originals thrown in. I set my gear up (all lightweight kit) and as i was setting up the 2 girls confirmed to all in the room that the previous guy was perfect and ideal for the band. I carried on and altho not my usual style of music i think i did ok. I didn't get the job which was fine altho i was a bit annoyed at the girls adoration for the previous guy but never said anything. Thanked them for the audition and left it at that. A year later i got a call asking if i was still interested. The bass player had now moved on. At that point i told them i wasn't happy with the girls comments while i was there and found it inappropriate during an audition and not sure i could accept their lack of respect. That and i was now with another band. I have to admit that i did take some enjoyment from the conversation. That is the one and only audition i've failed. I guess i must have been 2nd choice then. Dave 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo4652 Posted February 6, 2020 Author Share Posted February 6, 2020 Well, well. You lot saw this coming, didn't you?! I've just had a call from Dave, asking if I'd be interested in (re)joining the band. Apparently, their mate "couldn't hack it". Dave said he'd understand if I told the band to naff off. I asked him why the other bassist was there at my audition and Dave said; "He's always there - he's a really good friend of the keys player". I said that I I'd ring Dave back tomorrow. The thing is, it would suit me to play with them. I'm "between bands" at the moment, they're not far away, they play to a reasonable standard, and I've already learned 3/4 of the setlist. However, I don't like how I've been treated so far and it makes you wonder what other stunts they could pull if another "mate" shows up. Hmmmmm..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Blank Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 (edited) 9 minutes ago, solo4652 said: Well, well. You lot saw this coming, didn't you?! I've just had a call from Dave, asking if I'd be interested in (re)joining the band. Apparently, their mate "couldn't hack it". Dave said he'd understand if I told the band to naff off. I asked him why the other bassist was there at my audition and Dave said; "He's always there - he's a really good friend of the keys player". I said that I I'd ring Dave back tomorrow. The thing is, it would suit me to play with them. I'm "between bands" at the moment, they're not far away, they play to a reasonable standard, and I've already learned 3/4 of the setlist. However, I don't like how I've been treated so far and it makes you wonder what other stunts they could pull if another "mate" shows up. Hmmmmm..... I say do it, but I would insist on the proviso that keyboard players mate isn’t there when you rehearse picking up tips on how to do it until he thinks he can hack it. If it looks like they are going to fvck you over again then come back to the BC collective for some ‘now I’m definitely leaving, how can I let this lot know how I feel’ tips. Edited February 6, 2020 by Frank Blank 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beedster Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 7 minutes ago, solo4652 said: Well, well. You lot saw this coming, didn't you?! I've just had a call from Dave, asking if I'd be interested in (re)joining the band. Apparently, their mate "couldn't hack it". Dave said he'd understand if I told the band to naff off. I asked him why the other bassist was there at my audition and Dave said; "He's always there - he's a really good friend of the keys player". I said that I I'd ring Dave back tomorrow. The thing is, it would suit me to play with them. I'm "between bands" at the moment, they're not far away, they play to a reasonable standard, and I've already learned 3/4 of the setlist. However, I don't like how I've been treated so far and it makes you wonder what other stunts they could pull if another "mate" shows up. Hmmmmm..... You won't know until you try. Go for it mate. And enjoy it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beedster Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Just now, Frank Blank said: I say do it, but I would insist on the proviso that keyboard players mate isn’t there when you rehearse Absolutely, but that would be sufficiently weird to ensure that you leave even without the back story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevB Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 No time to read other posts so might be going against the trend here but it sounds like you were taken on as an insurance policy so my considered view would be to say f*ck em and move on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldslapper Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 6 minutes ago, hiram.k.hackenbacker said: I would do it, but make it clear that Carl is not part of the band anymore and therefore has no business being at rehearsals. CAAAARLL!! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldslapper Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 On a more serious note. You seemed to have liked the set and it’s local, so as others have said, you could give it a go but put down some boundaries regards Caaaaarl. At least Dave admitted they didn’t do well last time. Best wishes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Blank Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 45 minutes ago, KevB said: No time to read other posts so might be going against the trend here but it sounds like you were taken on as an insurance policy so my considered view would be to say f*ck em and move on. You’re right, actually... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabag Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 I'm of the philosophy that they screwed you over, so you can take a wild stab at my answer. Unless you make a full time living at playing, then gigging under any circumstances doesnt compute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 If the answer to the following question is no, go for it: Is it likely that there will always be an area of resentment in your mind over how this has happened? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Take the gig, see how it goes but keep an eye out for something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatrickJ Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 In fairness to Dave, he doesn't sound like he's a bad chap - it must have been an awkward call for him to make but seems like he's been pretty upfront about everything. However, not sure I could say yes to this, I'd always be wondering what the other band members were thinking since they booted you before and I'd have very limited trust in them not to do it again. I'd just walk away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
la bam Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 On 29/01/2020 at 13:31, solo4652 said: I wouldn't join them now if they change their minds, because I don't like the way they've behaved. You already answered your own question on page 1. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skidder652003 Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, PJ-Bassist said: In fairness to Dave, he doesn't sound like he's a bad chap - it must have been an awkward call for him to make but seems like he's been pretty upfront about everything. However, not sure I could say yes to this, I'd always be wondering what the other band members were thinking since they booted you before and I'd have very limited trust in them not to do it again. I'd just walk away. Decent Dave does over Dark Cloud Carl, it's the gift that keeps on giving! #copyright@skidder Edited February 7, 2020 by skidder652003 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatrickJ Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 30 minutes ago, skidder652003 said: Decent Dave does over Dark Cloud Carl But what will Screwed Over Steve decide to do?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phil.c60 Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 And we all know how Frank will feel after what happened to him.......but the stinky poo filter won't let me post what happened! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudonym Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 12 hours ago, solo4652 said: I've just had a call from Dave, asking if I'd be interested in (re)joining the band. Apparently, their mate "couldn't hack it". Dave said he'd understand if I told the band to naff off. I asked him why the other bassist was there at my audition and Dave said; "He's always there - he's a really good friend of the keys player". I said that I I'd ring Dave back tomorrow. The thing is, it would suit me to play with them. I'm "between bands" at the moment, they're not far away, they play to a reasonable standard, and I've already learned 3/4 of the setlist. However, I don't like how I've been treated so far and it makes you wonder what other stunts they could pull if another "mate" shows up. My reading of Dave's original message to you was that he found himself in an invidious position related to friendship. That could happen to most of us. You are , however, rightly interested in these people as a band, not as a bundle of friendship dynamics. I think you would be completely justified in making it clear that you'd like to make this work, but only if they are willing to commit and respect that commitment. There are diplomatic and less diplomatic ways of making this point. I'd give them a chance, but would walk immediately if there's a recurrence of the "mates in the room" stuff when it isn't appropriate. Either this misfire was a one-off -- in which case it's probably worth granting a little latitude -- or it's a pattern of behaviour, in which case it won't change. Good luck. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Starr Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 It's interesting that almost no-one has changed their minds. No criticism in that as it has to be a personal decision but I'm in the camp where there is good and bad in everyone and I prefer to believe in the good and try to be as straight as I can myself in the hope it might edge the good behaviour on. Not to say I haven't got the same stubborn nasty streak we all carry. What have you got to lose? Local band goodish standard and you know 3/4 so it's not going to be a lot of work. Would 10 decent gigs make it worthwhile? 20? Any band might go sour or you may find Dave turns out to be a friend for life. I've usually been bandleader and it isn't easy keeping folks happy. He may have wanted you all along but the keyboardist wanted his mate and persuaded the others. My experience is that it is easier to get other positions if you are already working so if you see something better you haven't lost much. If you don't do it you'll never know, if it works out well then you won't care. Most of us, me included are rubbish at other people, incompetence rather than conspiracy is the usual reason these sorts of situations arise. Enjoy your new band 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Blank Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 ^^^ much as I agree with all the above I’d still have backup revenge that involved the smearing of poo on one or more instruments. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldslapper Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 31 minutes ago, Frank Blank said: ^^^ much as I agree with all the above I’d still have backup revenge that involved the smearing of poo on one or more instruments. Instant “relic-ing“ And......break the keyboard modulation wheel, they hate that. apparently.🤭 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Blank Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 4 hours ago, oldslapper said: And......break the keyboard modulation wheel, they hate that. Yeah, break it with poo. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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