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First meet up jam thing...


uk_lefty

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Around New year someone local advertised that they were a guitarist wanting to get back in to gigging after a while out. I'd been looking to put something together different to my proper band and couldn't get the people I wanted involved so thought I'd contact the guy... He's recruited a merry band including another guitarist who has already dropped out and a keyboardist who says he can do vocals. 

I have some reservations over the song choices and the general nature of some of the chat between the group. Doesn't seem like they realistically know how to start a band. Almost four years ago I targeted joining an established band because I didn't want this aggro, I wanted to learn a set list with people who knew it already and go to play at paid gigs that were already booked. Simple. I'm now in the position of going to jam with a guitarist and keys player I've never met, playing a random mix of six songs together just to see if we can. I'll share vocals with the keys player for this start off period as we both say we can do it but we're not pretending to be great or specialist singers. If all goes well we will try to get a drummer and maybe a singer. 

This is where I see it falling apart. My proper band has five members and it is like herding cats in summer when everyone has family holidays, Christmas, and new year when they all go skiing. Also, it's five opinions, not one or two. 

I'm trying to be positive, I could be meeting nice people who are local. I could be starting a decent band. I could be getting a gig singing and playing bass which I've wanted for a while. I could decide a band won't work and be able to persuade one of them to do a duo with me. Or it could be a middle aged embarrassing car crash of trying to do some very, very tired old covers with people who don't seem to know how to set up a band.... 

And there's my experience of keys players. It has universally been bloody awful. Never been able to face playing in a band with one, usually down personality and lack of ability. 

Please all cross your fingers for me on Thursday. I do want this to be good, something is just telling me it won't be though! 

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If you have that many doubts and preconceptions why put yourself through it? Any band start up is a shot in the dark, and the chances of 4 or 5 strangers hitting it off musically and as personalities is slim, but sometimes magic happens. If you don't have a positive outlook and a desire to compromise then give it a miss. It will save you a lot of disappointment.

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1 hour ago, mikel said:

If you have that many doubts and preconceptions why put yourself through it? Any band start up is a shot in the dark, and the chances of 4 or 5 strangers hitting it off musically and as personalities is slim, but sometimes magic happens. If you don't have a positive outlook and a desire to compromise then give it a miss. It will save you a lot of disappointment.

Yeah I left practice with my proper band thinking not much gets better... But then I've wanted to do something different for a while. Worst that happens is I meet two people who seem okay and say hi whenever I see them about. There's lots of musos out there but we wouldn't all work in a band with each other. And it could be great... 

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Yes, you must go, and if it's a disaster, it was only a few hours out of your life, and you never know, they could be perfectly nice people if a bit.....errrrr.... limited musically.

In these situations you'll usually have them sussed out within a few minutes of arrival. It's a thousand and one little tell tale signs, isn't it?  For example:

People taking ages to set up.

Poor choice of songs to try out that don't really reveal much about anyones abilities.

Excess noodling, or, conversely, reluctance to play.

Excess volume, or, absolutely inaudible.

Someone claims to be a singer, and absolutely can't.

Someone brings a large amount of alcohol with them and is offended when you decline a drink.

Various wives/husbands/partners are hanging around for absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

And this is all above and beyond whether they can actually PLAY !!!   :shok:

Good luck.

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go with an open mind - you have nothing to lose except a few hours of your life

What I would suggest is to be very honest (in a polite way) about things when you are there.  In particular, if they are all a bit rusty, see how well they can improve

If you are concerned about the musical direction, perhaps also do a bit of band leadership - take the lead in suggesting what other songs could be covered.  That might then flush out the other personalities.

And sack the keyboard player.  Your previous experiences are not unusual

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I did exactly this the week before last. Met up with three other randoms with a view to jamming together. 
 

As it transpired, the jam revealed that they were looking to go down an originals route rather than covers as I was. However, it was worthwhile not least because I got out and played stuff I wouldn’t normally have done (though the 10 minute jam on blues in C wasn’t my highlight of the evening!) but also it helped me focus on what I did want to be playing.

 

I politely messaged them afterwards to explain and we all parted amicably. I was introduced to some music I’d never heard before, got to play with new people and (largely) had fun. What’s not to like?

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Give it a shot but be prepared to say no if it doesnt sound or feel right. I've turned down a band in the past after just one rehearsal because I thought it wouldnt work for me with the particular players and their rehearsal approach even though I'd done about 2 weeks learning stuff in advance.

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I've bashed through some of the songs this aft and I'm pleased that most are in my vocal range and I can play a passable bassline to most while singing. I'm feeling a bit more positive about Thursday now, these songs are not difficult for a guitarist at all and he has gigging band experience so at least he should be good. I've never heard the keys player on the ivories but have heard his vocals. Let's just say I expect to be doing all the vocals. 

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1 hour ago, uk_lefty said:

I've bashed through some of the sotricky one that - always easier to tell somebody that theyngs this aft and I'm pleased that most are in my vocal range and I can play a passable bassline to most while singing. I'm feeling a bit more positive about Thursday now, these songs are not difficult for a guitarist at all and he has gigging band experience so at least he should be good. I've never heard the keys player on the ivories but have heard his vocals. Let's just say I expect to be doing all the vocals. 

tricky one that - always much easier to tell somebody that their singing sucks if you're not the one that will be singing as their replacement.  It'll be interesting to see the BL dynamics - will the guitarist be strong enough to sort it out, or too polite to say when the vocals aren't up to scratch?

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2 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said:

tricky one that - always much easier to tell somebody that their singing sucks if you're not the one that will be singing as their replacement.  It'll be interesting to see the BL dynamics - will the guitarist be strong enough to sort it out, or too polite to say when the vocals aren't up to scratch?

I'll take along a recording device and suggest because there's only a handful of songs we take it in turns on a few, he does a version, I do a version, see what happens. If I think there's potential I'll mail round a link to the songs. If not I'll destroy all evidence and move on. 

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good plan

although...

Had an issue in a previous band when we sacked the singer and couldn't immediately find a replacement.  The plan was brilliantly simple - we should all try singing all of the songs and then we can work out who suits them best.  unfortunately one of the guitarists heard this as "say which songs you fancy trying and as long as you're not rubbish you'll keep them" and he bagsied about 80% of the set.  None of which suited his voice.

No amount of recorded evidence would convince him that he wasn't superb.  On some level he could hear it, but it was clearly down to where the recorder was placed that explained why the voice on the tape didn't match the voice in his head, right?

good luck

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1 minute ago, Monkey Steve said:

No amount of recorded evidence would convince him that he wasn't superb.  On some level he could hear it, but it was clearly down to where the recorder was placed that explained why the voice on the tape didn't match the voice in his head, right?

Good point. Same with general playing ability with some people too. 

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More warning signs last night... Someone is far too keen and likes really sh!t music. I think he sees himself as the multi instrumentalist, vocalist, life of the party type. I have to say I've not met him yet and this is all gleaned from messages that can be very easily misread, irony and tone of voice etc aren't present and when you don't know someone it's hard to really understand... Yet his vocals he sent over after running through reverb and auto tune are dreadful, painful in fact, and he couldn't play a really simple keys part along to it, had to use a backing track, which is baffling. I can't see anything coherent coming out of this. Then again the guitarist hasn't piped up except to do some organisation so there is a little hope that he has some self awareness and his feet on the ground. 

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It may well be a complete clusterfvck, but you're kinda going along with that expectation, so anything better than that is a pleasant surprise. I tend to go into these things expecting the worst, but with the knowledge that If just 2 of us gel well, I've made a potentially good contact. My drummer now is the one person I gelled with in a shortlived band joining episode a few years ago, and if I'm short of a guitarist, I know 2 of the first calls I make will be to people I've made contact with in similar circumstances over the years.

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5 minutes ago, NickD said:

It may well be a complete clusterfvck, but you're kinda going along with that expectation, so anything better than that is a pleasant surprise. I tend to go into these things expecting the worst, but with the knowledge that If just 2 of us gel well, I've made a potentially good contact. My drummer now is the one person I gelled with in a shortlived band joining episode a few years ago, and if I'm short of a guitarist, I know 2 of the first calls I make will be to people I've made contact with in similar circumstances over the years.

Exactly this. If you're meeting three or four musos for the first time, and under less-than-ideal circumstances, then it could easily be a train wreck.

But you could walk away from the wreckage with at least one new contact you'd be happy to play with again in the future.

Good luck.

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And after all that, and practicing some questionable songs Weds night... A sickness bug that has been lingering with my wife and kids took hold so I ended up cancelling and also feeling rough. I have a few weeks I can't do anything anyway but feels like I'll just find an excuse to pull out next week ish. I wanted a second musical thing to do but never in my head thought it would be a "worst of the 90s" band. 

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