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Single again...


BrunoBass

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Our drummer called a band meeting for tonight; he said it would only be a quick one but he wanted to see us. I’ve never met a musician so apparently disengaged with music. Everything about the band bores him, he moans about every aspect of band activity and I’ve wondered frequently why he bothers to do it. Anyway, my assumption was that the meeting was to inform us that he was leaving the band. No. The meeting was to inform me that I’m out of the band. It came out of nowhere and I’m pretty stunned. 
 

I joined them four and a half years ago and in that time we’ve gigged pretty much twice a month since. We’ve always been tight, we’ve always been popular locally, it’s always been fun. We’ve had our ups and downs but we’ve always had a good working relationship with each other. I say ‘working relationship’ because I have no social relationship with the other two members, it’s a purely professional but amicable arrangement. Or was. 
 

I feel the drummer is the prime mover behind my ousting. We had a bit of a ‘didn’t see eye to eye’ situation over something a few months ago. He later apologised and we moved on. Or so I thought. He did all the talking tonight, the guitarist / singer / frontman kept quiet, even though he’s the defacto band leader. They both then started chipping in with other ‘reasons’ why they want me gone: we’ve drifted apart as people etc. 
 

We have a gig booked for the first weekend of January. It’s a multi band lineup ticketed gig, with us headlining. It’s sold out, 400 tickets. I was really looking forward to playing. Having just fired me, they then asked me if I’d still play the gig. It took every ounce of will to remain dignified and not tell them to **** off. I think they’ve underestimated how difficult fishing for a new bass player in our small local pond will be.
 

So, I’m ‘single’ again. If I’d have left the band of my own accord I’d have done my best to maintain cordiality and try to remain on good terms with everyone. But the way it’s happened and the way it was handled leaves a bad taste and inevitably some smouldering if not fully ablaze bridges.

I’m off to have a few beers and think about what I want to do next. I feel pretty down about it and I don’t feel like a bass player if I’m not in a band.

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5 minutes ago, Frank Blank said:

...or do the gig and just play absolute nonsense on the bass with your foot up on the monitor and introduce every song as a tribute to the former leader of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia Klement Gottwald.

I like it. And for an encore an avant-garde atonal bass solo dedicated to Antonín Zápotocký,

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Call a band meeting the day before the gig and make sure you tell them you feel you've drifted apart as people,  and dont feel you can gig with them anymore,  then ask the drummer if he likes sex and travel.

Then leave them there scratching their selfish heads

 

PS i hope its not the Banbury band Cold Blue Daze  :)

Edited by fleabag
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Man this seems cruel, if they want to fire you surely they can't expect you to play the Jan gig?

I wasn't totally clear from your post above, but do I assume that because you didn't tell them to fork off there and then you agreed to doing it?  I'm not sure I would have, any enjoyment I may have taken from performing would be too over shadowed by this negative experience.  I certainly wouldn't want to be around those people again.

Really sorry for you! I hope the new year brings you better things.

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7 minutes ago, PJ-Bassist said:

Man this seems cruel, if they want to fire you surely they can't expect you to play the Jan gig?

I wasn't totally clear from your post above, but do I assume that because you didn't tell them to fork off there and then you agreed to doing it?  I'm not sure I would have, any enjoyment I may have taken from performing would be too over shadowed by this negative experience.  I certainly wouldn't want to be around those people again.

Really sorry for you! I hope the new year brings you better things.

Thank you. 

I have no intention of doing the gig; it’s like dumping your girlfriend and still expecting her to accompany you to a pre arranged event, it’s not going to happen. 

I told them I’d have to think about it, but by that time I just wanted get the hell out of there and go home. I think they know I won’t be playing it. 

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16 minutes ago, fleabag said:

Call a band meeting the day before the gig and make sure you tell them you feel you've drifted apart as people,  and dont feel you can gig with them anymore,  then ask the drummer if he likes sex and travel.

Then leave them there scratching their selfish heads

 

PS i hope its not the Banbury band Cold Blue Daze  :)

It’s not Cold Blue Daze, although I am friendly with their singer, who is also a bassist. 
Coincidentally he was let go from his bass gig with another local band because (according to him) they didn’t like him being in another band.

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18 minutes ago, BrunoBass said:

Thank you. 

I have no intention of doing the gig; it’s like dumping your girlfriend and still expecting her to accompany you to a pre arranged event, it’s not going to happen. 

I told them I’d have to think about it, but by that time I just wanted get the hell out of there and go home. I think they know I won’t be playing it. 

The sensible side of me wants to say no, go and do the gig and be the better man, but the realistic side of me says I agree with your decision and it’s more than a bit cheeky of them for asking. 

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Sorry to hear that, seems pretty bad conduct on the part of the band, especially the drumtard.

Us bass players are sensible and responsible folk, so I would suggest you offer to do the gig and give it your utmost, HOWEVER since it is now just business they need to give you half of the fee (or whatever makes you smile). 

That way you remain professional and your reputation even increases, but you screw them on the money. If they refuse to play ball, all they could complain about is that they could not afford you.

My 2 p.

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I can see why you might have had your ups and downs with them.

8 hours ago, BrunoBass said:

We have a gig booked for the first weekend of January. It’s a multi band lineup ticketed gig, with us headlining. It’s sold out, 400 tickets. I was really looking forward to playing. Having just fired me, they then asked me if I’d still play the gig. It took every ounce of will to remain dignified and not tell them to **** off. I think they’ve underestimated how difficult fishing for a new bass player in our small local pond will be.

If I were in your shoes, I would "think about it" for a week, then tell them on the weekend before Christmas that I have gven it a great deal of thought but decided against doing it. Then, if they called in a panic because finding a new bassist is as hard as you suggest, I'd agree to do it for the entire proceeds of the booking, in advance. Then I'd try to give the best performance of my life.

Of course, if there are no proceeds, I'd tell them to stuff it.

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5 minutes ago, HazBeen said:

Us bass players are sensible and responsible folk, so I would suggest you offer to do the gig and give it your utmost, HOWEVER since it is now just business they need to give you half of the fee (or whatever makes you smile). 

That way you remain professional and your reputation even increases, but you screw them on the money. If they refuse to play ball, all they could complain about is that they could not afford you.

You got there while I was writing my post, HazBeen, thus confirming the excellence of your name.

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24 minutes ago, Pseudonym said:

I can see why you might have had your ups and downs with them.

If I were in your shoes, I would "think about it" for a week, then tell them on the weekend before Christmas that I have gven it a great deal of thought but decided against doing it. Then, if they called in a panic because finding a new bassist is as hard as you suggest, I'd agree to do it for the entire proceeds of the booking, in advance. Then I'd turn up drunk, dressed as the rear end of a pantomime horse and busk my way through a medley of Cliff Richards’ 70s singles on a kazoo only pausing briefly throw up before Devil Woman.

Of course, if there are no proceeds, I'd tell them to stuff it.

Fixed.

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As you're officially out of the band, and have been asked to play the gig as a 'dep', then I would be asking how much they're going to pay you for being a session bass player.

If the figure they come up with isn't the right one, tell them to rethink or you don't play the gig. Don't be greedy, just make sure you're getting paid to cover your costs, and a reasonable hourly rate for your time.

 

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1 hour ago, Frank Blank said:
1 hour ago, Pseudonym said:

I can see why you might have had your ups and downs with them.

If I were in your shoes, I would "think about it" for a week, then tell them on the weekend before Christmas that I have gven it a great deal of thought but decided against doing it. Then, if they called in a panic because finding a new bassist is as hard as you suggest, I'd agree to do it for the entire proceeds of the booking, in advance. Then I'd turn up drunk, dressed as the rear end of a pantomime horse and busk my way through a medley of Cliff Richards’ 70s singles on a kazoo only pausing briefly throw up before Devil Woman.

Of course, if there are no proceeds, I'd tell them to stuff it.

Fixed.

Frank, I would be seriously tempted to back you as a variety impresario. Loved the Gottwald idea.

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Personally I can't believe the cheek of them.  They have sacked you but want you to play the next gig?  Really?  My pride would not allow me anywhere near it. 

Then again, tbf, my pride has got me in trouble before now :) 

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Firstly sorry to hear that, it’s massively wanky.

Read through all the posts and thought initially “forget you! Your gig can do one!” Through to doing the gig as Borat and sabotaging the whole thing.

I think maybe the Dep suggestion is the best one - give them your last minute Dep rate, treat it like a business, pop in an awesome performance and network if there are possibilities.

Also travel in your own vehicle and let the other guys tyres down whilst they are not looking.

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20 minutes ago, Cuzzie said:

I think maybe the Dep suggestion is the best one - give them your last minute Dep rate, treat it like a business, pop in an awesome performance and network if there are possibilities.

This. 100%

21 minutes ago, Cuzzie said:

Also travel in your own vehicle and let the other guys tyres down whilst they are not looking.

Then definitely this 😁

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