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BaggyMan

Exoctica? pah! gimme a p bass

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18 hours ago, SH73 said:

A good bass player, decent amp and sophisticated amp sim can make most exotic bass guitars sound like a p bass.

Sorted!

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Several pillows stuffed in front of the speaker can make most exotic bass guitars sound like a P bass.

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I need a new keyboard - this thread has me weeping tears of laughter into my old one...

You do know Spade Cooley beat his wife to death with the blunt end of a Shittenbacker?

The ubiquity of the p-bass is because 95% of  sound engineers expect a bass to go dum-dum-dum and make anything else sound shite...

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Posted (edited)
22 minutes ago, tauzero said:

Several pillows stuffed in front of the speaker can make most exotic bass guitars sound like a P bass.

Or even sound like a bass drum (with pillows stuffed in front of it!) 🤔😬

Edited by drTStingray

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18 hours ago, musicbassman said:

image.png.c9ffa26f68849962db04e5f51cbae660.png

Thanks Skankdelvar, for writing such an excellent article and providing all us BCers with free entertainment!

Lots of glorious detail there. Never mind playing the bass, you should be a comedy scriptwriter.

I fully agree. We are in the presence of a Master.

Out of Interest, I wonder how many of these are the work of the mighty SD?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:List_of_hoaxes_on_Wikipedia

 

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5 hours ago, Skinnyman said:

Thank you so much for posting that link :i-m_so_happy: 

I just read this list of hoaxes and PMSL at the hoaxers' ingenuity. A few examples:

Mr Bennett Goes to Town
Nonexistent Nazi propaganda film set in Manchester, supposedly produced in 1937 but never released because of production complaints by Joseph Goebbels.

Milton Bradley Playmate 
Supposed 600-cubic-foot computer prototype designed in late 1960s to play various board games using a giant robotic claw arm.

Gideon Planke
Fictitious 17th-century witch-finder active in Shropshire, supposedly the subject of a 19th-century poem used to "enforce good behaviour on unruly children before bedtime."

Digital Lady 
Nonexistent San Francisco rock band that supposedly included the brother of the White House press secretary and used acoustic guitars and kitchen utensils to simulate the Moog synthesizer. 

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Posted (edited)

Another classic.

Pneumatic Auto Retardation of Passenger Stock
A plan to replace buffer stops at terminal railway stations with huge airbags, thus obviating the need for drivers to slow down at all on the station approach and so saving precious minutes off journey times. PARPS was abandoned when the office tea lady pointed out that the airbags would stop the trains but not the passengers.

Edited by Rich
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Posted (edited)
On 02/03/2019 at 15:51, Rich said:

PARPS was abandoned when the office tea lady pointed out that the airbags would stop the trains but not the passengers.

That's funny.

Worryingly, this sort of thing actually happens in real life more than you'd think.  During the eighties a misguided politician by the name of Peter Bottomley tried to force legislation through to make the fitment of patented leg protectors on motorcycles mandatory.  He said that this would significantly reduce the number of serious leg injuries sustained by motorcyclists in general following collisions with other vehicles.  What a guy!

The TRRL - now known as the TRL - established that his pet campaign would result in serious head injuries to lots more of the motorcyclists in side-on collisions with cars (very common) than before.  Without the leg protectors serious head injuries were uncommon.  This was because the leg protectors caused the motorcyclist's body to pitch violently resulting in severe head injuries as the victim's head met with the edge of the car's roof where it is least likely to deform.

Still, it did save legs so WELL DONE Peter.  Don't let the door smack you on the 'arris on the way out will you.

P basses have been responsible for about as many head injuries as leg injuries when wielded appropriately in a bar fight so no problem there.  Carry on.

Edited by SpondonBassed
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PEDANT ALARM!!!

Just noticed that the title of this thread is misspelt... 

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Posted (edited)

I doff my hat to you...just spotted it

Edited by TheGreek

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10 minutes ago, TheGreek said:

PEDANT ALARM!!!

Just noticed that the title of this thread is misspelt... 

Should it be Eroctica?

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1 minute ago, Stub Mandrel said:

Should it be Eroctica?

Yeah, forget porn, get a P-bass instead

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5 minutes ago, TheGreek said:

I doth my hat to you...just spotted it

Pedant alert!

'Doff'

;)

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I stand corrected...well, seated really.

Amended.

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Posted (edited)

This reminds me of a story that I made up recently about the found of Shitenbacker, Johnny "Potatoes & Gravy" Ball, and the massive ruccus he had with Bobby Crapman, creator of the Crapman Schtick.

It revolved around Crapman calling Ball's ancestors a bunch of stinking cowards with Ball's response being "Vive las Vagas, le bain est don le Cuisine" or words to that effect.

Once resolved it did allow them to create a crossover instrument, the Shiteycrappenbacker but it was a complete mess so never took off. The pudding dispenser would jam and randomly send chilled dairy products into the crowd. 

When asked years later what became of the few that were sold, Crapman's reposnse was "how did you  get in my house?"

Edited by Delberthot
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