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Flakes and Fantasists!


Happy Jack

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Sometimes, the flakey vocalist is the reason the band is a draw - unpredictable, outrageous, entertaining, etc.

But they are always 100% difficult to work with - unreliable, no concept of time or logistics,  won't learn lyrics, insist on bringing equally flakey partner to rehearsals etc.

It's a balancing act.

Along time ago, a new band i was in got a support slot at a local theatre with a semi name band as headliners. The show was running very late due to PA problems so there was only time to play five songs, and this had been made perfectly clear to us before we started,. So after five songs the band left the stage but singer refused, and proceeded to give the stunned and silent sit down audience a five minute lecture about how he was going to be the biggest star in the whole world, ever, and no one would tell him when the show was over.

He was eventually physically 'removed' from the stage by two roadies from the headline band. It was just about the most embarrassing five minutes of my life, and of course, the end of the band.

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1 hour ago, musicbassman said:

Sometimes, the flakey vocalist is the reason the band is a draw - unpredictable, outrageous, entertaining, etc.

But they are always 100% difficult to work with - unreliable, no concept of time or logistics,  won't learn lyrics, insist on bringing equally flakey partner to rehearsals etc.

It's a balancing act.

Along time ago, a new band i was in got a support slot at a local theatre with a semi name band as headliners. The show was running very late due to PA problems so there was only time to play five songs, and this had been made perfectly clear to us before we started,. So after five songs the band left the stage but singer refused, and proceeded to give the stunned and silent sit down audience a five minute lecture about how he was going to be the biggest star in the whole world, ever, and no one would tell him when the show was over.

He was eventually physically 'removed' from the stage by two roadies from the headline band. It was just about the most embarrassing five minutes of my life, and of course, the end of the band.

Blimey. I'm guessing he didn't go on to a wildly successful solo career after the band split?

This isn't quite on the same scale, but despite several weeks off after the Xmas period, the keyboard player in a function band I play with announced that he didn't want to rehearse any more, apart from a couple of times just before gigs to refresh his memory, as he put it. As the band only just took on a new guitarist, the rest of us tried to point out that wasn't practical, especially as the said keyboard player was not up to speed himself, regularly going blank in the middle of songs, despite being in the band for over a year. He then proceeded to lecture the rest of us via WhatsApp about how much work he had put in, and how it was totally unreasonable to expect someone of his musical calibre to spend his hard-earned money on rehearsal if there wasn't an imminent gig to offset said outlay. No other bands he knew of worked like this, he went on, and as he gained his "musical satisfaction" elsewhere, he didn't need to "rehearse for fun" like the rest of us!

In response, we took a slightly firmer position than perhaps he might have expected, pointing out that we would rehearse anyway, get another keyboard player to come down and help out, and that if the dep knew the set, we were far more likely to call him first when gigs went in the book. There then followed furious back-pedalling (again via WhatsApp) from Dr Dentures about how much we needed him to help with organisation, video editing, and "general musicality". I'm not sure how he thought that last point was going to win any friends, but suffice to say it went down like a cup of cold sick. He followed it up by warning that "an all-or-nothing approach would be making it hard for ourselves going forward"!

Bloody keyboard players. They know they're hard to come by, so too often act like prima donnas. Bass players don't seem to suffer from this sort of bizarre egotism to anything like the same degree. Maybe I should form a band of only bass players... I know it's been done already, but it would be good for my mental health...

Edited by lowregisterhead
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1 hour ago, musicbassman said:

Sometimes, the flakey vocalist is the reason the band is a draw - unpredictable, outrageous, entertaining, etc.

But they are always 100% difficult to work with - unreliable, no concept of time or logistics,  won't learn lyrics, insist on bringing equally flakey partner to rehearsals etc.

It's a balancing act.

Along time ago, a new band i was in got a support slot at a local theatre with a semi name band as headliners. The show was running very late due to PA problems so there was only time to play five songs, and this had been made perfectly clear to us before we started,. So after five songs the band left the stage but singer refused, and proceeded to give the stunned and silent sit down audience a five minute lecture about how he was going to be the biggest star in the whole world, ever, and no one would tell him when the show was over.

He was eventually physically 'removed' from the stage by two roadies from the headline band. It was just about the most embarrassing five minutes of my life, and of course, the end of the band.

I mentioned it on the How was your gig? Thread a few weeks ago, but a band supporting the lot I was depping for at Christmas did something very similar

I’d been told about the singer/rhythm guitarist’s over inflated ego before but never seen it in action.  He did not disappoint.

four band bill, we’re headlining so we get a full soundcheck. There’s no time for anybody else to get a proper soundcheck so everybody else is getting a quick line check during the 15 minute change over and then into their first number.

first two bands play, the sound is excellent - one of the best sound guys I’ve ever worked with, no fuss, just made everybody sound brilliant.

the the main support get their turn. The singer wants a full soundcheck for his guitar.

no mate, just do a line check, you need to start your set

no, he wants a proper soundcheck for his guitar so that he can properly adjust it all to make sure that he gets “his” sound, and he’s quite happy to tell the band not to play until he gets it

all of this in front of the crowd

sadly the sound man was too nice to just call his bluff and tell him to leave the stage, so, already into their half hour slot, he gets his full check, then plays half a song to make sure that he’s happy with the overall sound and monitors on stage.  He gives the sound man notes about which khz he should be adjusting Then they can start their set.

prectictably they overrun, and start a song just as they were supposed to be leaving the stage, and knowing that there is a hard curfew at the end of our set. Our BL loudly makes it known what his opinion is of this, and at the end of that song the sound man kills the sound for everything except the he mics, leaving a very disgruntled singer on stage complaining that he’s been told that they have to stop now, like nobody told him when they had to finish

complete indifference from the crowd, all of who have paid to see us and know that there’s a hard curfew and we’re going to struggle to get on stage on time (actually it wasn’t that hard so we did get our full set)

Edited by Monkey Steve
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25 minutes ago, lowregisterhead said:

In response, we took a slightly firmer position than perhaps he might have expected, pointing out that we would rehearse anyway, get another keyboard player to come down and help out, and that if the dep knew the set, we were far more likely to call him first when gigs went in the book. There then followed furious back-pedalling (again via WhatsApp) from Dr Dentures about how much we needed him to help with organisation, video editing, and "general musicality". I'm not sure how he thought that last point was going to win any friends, but suffice to say it went down like a cup of cold sick. He followed it up by warning that "an all-or-nothing approach would be making it hard for ourselves going forward"!

So what happened next?

S.P.

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3 minutes ago, Stylon Pilson said:

So what happened next?

S.P.

An uneasy silence, but we are rehearsing with another keyboard player next week! Not sure where we go after that, but I have a sense we may be offloading Dr Dentures shortly. Or he may offload himself. stinky poo happens, it's the attitude that nobody needs.

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Just now, lowregisterhead said:

An uneasy silence, but we are rehearsing with another keyboard player next week! Not sure where we go after that, but I have a sense we may be offloading Dr Dentures shortly. Or he may offload himself. stinky poo happens, it's the attitude that nobody needs.

Stinky poo?? My first post that's been obscenity filtered! Hurrah! 🙂

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8 minutes ago, lowregisterhead said:

An uneasy silence, but we are rehearsing with another keyboard player next week! Not sure where we go after that, but I have a sense we may be offloading Dr Dentures shortly. Or he may offload himself. stinky poo happens, it's the attitude that nobody needs.

Yeah, he sounds like a handful. Don't feel bad if you do need to give him the boot - this situation is entirely of his own creation.

S.P.

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A few years back I ended up playing with a singer-songwriter guitarist. He was American, and had come over here and married his (much older) wife. She was a rock survivor, former groupie who’d slept with some well known rock stars (I forget who, but it was a pretty big list...)

 

Anyway, they had some good gigs lined up but when we actually got to play, the reality never matched up: for example, what was sold to us as a headline gig, was actually an appearance on a multi-band line up. I ended up as the defacto driver as neither of them drove, and one memorable gig involved them bringing their young daughter (who had special needs) on a drive from the Midlands to a central London gig. 

Cue massive row at the venue when they refused to allow a small child into the gig (unsurprisingly!) and a potential refusal to perform (at what was, again, a good gig but not a headline slot). 

 

I ended up just sacking it off as it was clear they had delusions of grandeur which never met the reality of the situation. A quick google shows they’re still plodding along. Nice bloke, but she was VERY odd.  

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10 hours ago, Stylon Pilson said:

Yeah, he sounds like a handful. Don't feel bad if you do need to give him the boot - this situation is entirely of his own creation.

S.P.

Thanks for the reassurance - there's been a few times when I've thought we might be being a bit hard on him.

And yet, it gets murkier - today he WhatsApped us all again - he's only gone and got us a gig!! Still doesn't want to rehearse until 2 weeks before, though. It makes me wonder... was he keeping it to himself and planning to bring in some mates to do the deed until we forced his hand? Seems mighty convenient!

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Vocalists AND guitarists.

8 piece Funk band, two female singers. One would shriek every time she made a fluff/mistake, even when gigging; that drove me insane! Guitarist in same band was a massive Prima Donna who (annoyingly) cultivated a faux-gay persona and went in the huff every ten minutes. Those two quickly became an item and then started travelling separately to out-of-town gigs. Division ensued, becoming an 'Us and Them' camp. They eventually left the band and drifted off into musical oblivion.

Then there was the male vocalist who was obsessed with Elvis and used to pull crap, Elvis-style karate moves on stage, often losing his balance when doing so.  Totally cringeworthy.  At times I was thankful for both my position near the drum riser and the fogger that occasionally hid my disapproving countenance from the punters.

Two guitarists in another band became hooked on heroin and consorted with the (serious) underworld figures they were buying it from. They became completely unreliable fast, and were two of the most accomplished fabulists I have ever met! One time, they rocked up hours late for a rehearsal. Their excuse? They had gotten us a gig! In a brothel! I shid you not!! Both eventually succumbed to the demi-monde they had been sucked into and did time; they were also rumoured to be police informants. A shame, for they wrote some good tunes!

Female vocalist channeling Janis Joplin. Good Blues shouter who would, out of the blue, make random, disparaging comments onstage about some of our original numbers. Go figure.

Female vocalist channeling Stevie Nicks, complete with wardrobe but, thankfully, sans private off-stage tent and substances. A lovely girl with stars in her eyes who couldn't sing for her supper and assured us that 'RCA/Arista/Polydor/Sony are at this gig tonight!' at every gig!

Then there are the drummers. But I'm not going there. Yet!

Edited by NikNik
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21 hours ago, musicbassman said:

Sometimes, the flakey vocalist is the reason the band is a draw - unpredictable, outrageous, entertaining, etc.

But they are always 100% difficult to work with - unreliable, no concept of time or logistics,  won't learn lyrics, insist on bringing equally flakey partner to rehearsals etc.

It's a balancing act.

Along time ago, a new band i was in got a support slot at a local theatre with a semi name band as headliners. The show was running very late due to PA problems so there was only time to play five songs, and this had been made perfectly clear to us before we started,. So after five songs the band left the stage but singer refused, and proceeded to give the stunned and silent sit down audience a five minute lecture about how he was going to be the biggest star in the whole world, ever, and no one would tell him when the show was over.

He was eventually physically 'removed' from the stage by two roadies from the headline band. It was just about the most embarrassing five minutes of my life, and of course, the end of the band.

Who the eff was this guy? What an impressive musical Messiah complex! Do you still hear word of him?

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I've been in more than one band where we didn't bother getting a singer, just let the guy who wrote the songs do it to save us the hassle of dealing with the ego. Even if they weren't particularly gifted singers it was still more fun.

Then I found my current singer. No discernible ego, none. Regards her voice as an instrument, looks after it, has learned how it works by paying for coaching, rehearses hard every day, carries the gear, owns her own gear, books gigs, in fact works her backside off getting gigs, runs the social media, sets up and packs down, soundchecks the band, drives herself and others to gigs, doesn't see herself as any more important than anyone else in the band, learns her parts, never blows out a  rehearsal, first time I met her was in the car park outside the rehearsal room and she carried my bass from the car for me. Oh and she is literally the best singer I've ever worked with, magical voice.

I've said it before, no you can't, hands off, she's a keeper.

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10 hours ago, lowregisterhead said:

Thanks for the reassurance - there's been a few times when I've thought we might be being a bit hard on him.

And yet, it gets murkier - today he WhatsApped us all again - he's only gone and got us a gig!! Still doesn't want to rehearse until 2 weeks before, though. It makes me wonder... was he keeping it to himself and planning to bring in some mates to do the deed until we forced his hand? Seems mighty convenient!

Jeez how much do your rehearsals cost if he is so out of pocket he needs a gig to cover it?

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2 hours ago, NikNik said:

Who the eff was this guy? What an impressive musical Messiah complex! Do you still hear word of him?

 

22 hours ago, lowregisterhead said:

Blimey. I'm guessing he didn't go on to a wildly successful solo career after the band split?

Well, you aroused my curiosity, so about 40 years after the event, I opened up the Big Book of Internets yesterday evening and after some digging I came across this.

He had an unusual name, so chances are this really is the very same guy, and it all sounds about right...... I rest my case.

Currently working on the A14 near Cambridge and cheating on my wife. I'm a pretend bodybuilder and claim to have competed at the highest level possible in this country although no one has actually seen proof of this. I love listening to music with a varied taste from u2 or anything guitar orientated through to Alfie Boe which my beautiful wife introduced me to as I had never heard of him before I met her. I love good food, good wine even though I don't drink cos I am an alcoholic. I'm a rubbish listeneras I believe what I have to say is way more important than anything you want to say but a bit shy as far as ladies are concerned, although i do try behind my wife's back. I think i'm romantic and quite possibly a bit of a knob head. I am a gypo, so will take everything of yours, show you no respect a compulsive lyer and I believe all women are second class citizens including my wife.
I am married to a beautiful woman who gives me her whole being. We have had a horrendous few years living in a caravan like a couple of skanky old pikey's in a field with no money. At one point we literally had a bowel of porridge between us for the day , honest truth!, we had no toilet and she had to do her business in a plastic bag. Sometimes I had to leave her for weeks on end with only the dogs to talk to to go and work. She has given up her whole life for me, her home her family and her friends and constantly reassures me that it will all be ok and we will get thro this. We are now in rented accommodation but even right here right now I have left her out in a village with no furniture , she is sitting on a cover on the floor and has no car or money. And I am up here trying to see other women whilst she is there with nothing. And I know she will not leave me even after doing this to her. What a great guy am I !!
By the way, my black hair is almost all grey now, I do have a child and I couldn't give a damm about them. your weight matters to me a lot, the fatter the better, which is the complete opposite to my beautiful wife who trains every day and has a fantastic body, she tries her best every day to look good for me, I'm not athletic, I've got a fat belly, I get out of breath going up stairs and I smoke like a chimney and I didn't go to school. As for children, my girl was prepared to take on my five nieces and nephews when their parents died despite being estranged from her own thro no fault of hers. She also supports me in every thing I do. She has and still does sacrifice her whole life for me, .......she makes me laugh and is my best mate.........Still, who cares she is the most wonderful woman I have ever met and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her, her but Im still gonna mess around behind her back. So, in conclusion, I'm a fat, bald, lying, cheating gypsy who spends all my money on fags and will happily share my chlamydia with you.

 

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29 minutes ago, musicbassman said:

So, in conclusion, I'm a fat, bald, lying, cheating gypsy who spends all my money on fags and will happily share my chlamydia with you.

I am suspecting that maybe she might have had more to do with the writing of that than him.

And who would blame her with a bowel of porridge!

 

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