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Monkey Steve

Hell Is Other People (who know you play in a band)

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Never had this, but did get the following:

"So, you play bass? Is that a proper one, or one of those "double bass" thingys?

And a week or so later from someone else:

"Bass, eh? Is that a proper one, or one of those other things, er.. bass guitar, that's it!"

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I usually get :-

we can get you to play at our bike rally free of charge cause you'll be there anyway (band are not bikers at all so its gonna be a bit boring with just me playing tho)

Could you play my birthday party - mates rates. .......... They get upset when i say the band doesn't know you !!!

My son / daughter has just bought a bass.......any tips ? ........... Yes take professional lessons to get the basics and then simply practice a lot. 

To be fair most of my freinds are either bikers or musicians of some kind so the conversation is nearly always one of those topics.

Dave

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5 hours ago, Norris said:

Music? You want to try having a career in anything to do with computers. You instantly become everyone's personal technician and are expected to be able to solve an issue from the vaguest of descriptions!

That's why I have one of these:

will-not-fix.jpg

A lot of my mates are geeks anyway so they can fix their own.

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I have had this too...

I hear you play in a band?

Yes....  I then grin insanely, stare at them and rock side to side

End of conversation as they slowly edge away.....

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15 hours ago, Woodinblack said:

Actually, no, when i have conversations about music, it tends to be the irritating one that goes like:

Them: Oh you play instruments, I would love to do that, but I have no talent.

Me: You just need to get an instrument, learn it and practice

Them: Oh but I am not good at that sort of stuff, it must be nice to have talent so you can do it.

Me: Its just practice, you just keep practicing and you get better.

Them: No, I tried it once, I couldn't get a decent sound, but its easy of you have talent isn't it

yeah, it's weird that a lot of people don't think most of it is a skill like any other skill, that can be learned and improved with practice. As if you could throw a tuba at someone and they would start parping away amazingly at their first attempt. Some have a better aptitude for it than others, but everyone can do something.

I think deep down people know this, but use the 'oh I have no talent' thing as an excuse for not ever trying

Edited by Bob Lord
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I've ended up in a few punk bands in my time - not because I love punk per se, although I do love loud, energetic rock n roll (which is basically all it is, anyway). And what I've found is that there are always audience members for whom their identity as 'a punk' or an 'ex punk' is really precious to them. Fair enough. But after the gig, they always seem to want to prove their punk credentials to you, the guy in the band. Endless war stories about having seen some obscure band playing some obscure toilet in 1978.

And they've always been in a band themselves once

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5 minutes ago, Bob Lord said:

Endless war stories about having seen some obscure band playing some obscure toilet in 1978.

Oh, that's nothing. I bought my LPs from an obscure label! 🤘
😐

 

Edited by BassTractor
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See this is why I try not to mix with other bass players in person.

You really are a bunch of miserable basstards !

:)

 

Edited by ahpook
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6 hours ago, Norris said:

Music? You want to try having a career in anything to do with computers. You instantly become everyone's personal technician and are expected to be able to solve an issue from the vaguest of descriptions!

53bb3f41d1fb17aa28b506c6b03980bd.jpg

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4 minutes ago, ahpook said:

See this is why I try not to mix with other bass players in person.

You really are a bunch of miserable basstards !

:)

 

:sorry:

:on_the_quiet:

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I went for an interview at a company and when I got there I noticed a friend of mine I hadn't seen for a few years and had a quick chat with him on my way out of the interview room. As it happens I got the job and arrived there the following Monday and got shown to my desk which was next to the area that the admin ladies where. I presume my mate must have mentioned that I was a musician that played in few well known reggae bands. Anyway maybe an hour after I'd started working, one of them called me over to their cluster of desks showed me a picture of Astro they had googled and said.... "That's you isn't it"..!!!! 

Apart from our ethnicity, the fact we both have locks and are Brummies we look completely different. They could tell from my silence and facial response that, I did not take that as a compliment. 🙂

That said some of them came to a few of my gigs so that was cool.

Edited by jazzyvee
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10 minutes ago, Bob Lord said:

Endless war stories about having seen some obscure band playing some obscure toilet in 1978.

Quite a few years back a bunch of us in the office were talking about bands we'd seen 'before they were big'. We were just chatting really, but I think secretly we were trying to outdo each other. There was a pause in the conversation, and then one of the older guys looked up and said, "I saw Hendrix in Worcester..."

Instant win, end of contest :lol: 

 

 

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15 hours ago, Woodinblack said:

Actually, no, when i have conversations about music, it tends to be the irritating one that goes like:

Them: Oh you play instruments, I would love to do that, but I have no talent.

Me: You just need to get an instrument, learn it and practice

Them: Oh but I am not good at that sort of stuff, it must be nice to have talent so you can do it.

Me: Its just practice, you just keep practicing and you get better.

Them: No, I tried it once, I couldn't get a decent sound, but its easy of you have talent isn't it

I have the opposite, a mate who cannot play the guitar to save his life, but has bought eight of them over the last 30 years (five amps, a load of pedals and effects and loads of recording software) and likes to make out that his is a musician despite no evidence to support this, and quite a lot to the contrary. The last time I saw him play a couple of years ago he could barely make a 5th chord, and had to stare at his hand to get his fingers arranged, then stop playing and repeat when he moved the 5th chord shape down two frets.  His girlfriend of three years, who he has been living with for the last few months, has yet to see him actually play the guitar - he always has an excuse of why he doesn't want to play it right now, he doesn't feel like it, or he's working on something and it's not ready to show her yet...

However, he knows a lot of people who play in bands, some at a fairly decent level, and seems to think that he is in the same class, and that we all want to hear his opinions on the string gauge he uses, his picks, effects pedals, and his opinions on guitars and amps.  All of which we ignore because we know he cannot play. He seems to genuinely be sure that he is as talented as everybody else, it's just that he needs to sit down and practice a bit more  to turn his undoubted talent into excellent guitar playing.  After all, it can't be that difficult if everybody else he knows are in bands and playing gigs.  So at some as yet to be determined point in the future he will be just as good as those in his circle who are playing European festivals and US tour dates. 

And he is quite dismissive of my bass playing because basses only have four strings (regardless of the fact that mine have five) and so are easy to play compared to the guitar.  In fact he's quite dismissive and belittling of any of his mates bands, going out of his way to find criticisms, as though his standards are much higher.

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The only famous chaps i saw before they were famous were Jakko Jakszyk and Joe Jackson.  Not even sure if their bands stayed together, so it maybe just  Jakko and Joe himself that became famous.

Anyways,  myself and some buddies wandered into a pub in  Gosport ( i used to live in {Portsmouth ) and there was a great band on, called Arms and Legs. We didnt know they were playing at the time, just a lucky shot

And the same with Jakkos band back in the day.  I was living in Oxford after Portsmouth ( and Southsea as well ) and used to go to The Corn Dolly a lot, in Oxford. There was a band playing called The 64 Spoons.  Strange crew .. but entertaining

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12 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said:

And he is quite dismissive of my bass playing because basses only have four strings (regardless of the fact that mine have five) and so are easy to play compared to the guitar.  In fact he's quite dismissive and belittling of any of his mates bands, going out of his way to find criticisms, as though his standards are much higher.

He sounds nice :)

(actually, he sounds like a right git!)

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6 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

I managed for almost four and a half years to limit the knowledge of my musical endeavours at work to "I played in a band when I was 17". This worked, people assume you own an instrument in the loft. I have over time confidentiality told a few people I trust but I just don't want: "oh great I got a six string Kay guitar when I was eight..." Or "brilliant at the Xmas party we need a work band" or worse still someone miming air guitar across the office at me! The only person who knows any detail of what I do musically keeps it discrete, has grade 8 clarinet and her dad was a semi pro bass player. Some others think I "collect" guitars which is fine because then you're not asked "what stuff do you play?" Magically. 

Overall I don't want people I don't know but have to work with knowing my band name and looking us up. I also have a "stage name" with my band so I'm not Google-able. A Dutch guy I worked with in an old company was on Dutch top of the pops singing some football chant while wearing a gold lame jacket and Elvis sunglasses, one of the lads found it by googling him. We didn't take him too seriously anyway for professional reasons but as soon as we saw that video we just couldn't stop laughing at him. I don't want the same happening to me... Even if I did make it on to Dutch top of the pops!

 

Everyone at works know about one of my bands at least. Some even regularly show up at our local gigs following us on facebook. For a time, our trumpet player was a colleague.

Why would they laugh at me?

The fact that I have the key to the poisons cabinet and access a wide range of acids and sharp implements has nothing to do with it 😛

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Not music related but im very much in to photography, and have some nice gear. When out walking around town i often get stopped and asked 'oooh, you look like a pro, would you mind taking our photo with my phone/ipad/camera'. Quite often i reply that if i was a pro, then i woudl have to charge them for my time.

 

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It's a generation thing also - some people of my age (60's) both male and female are still unreasonably impressed if they find out I play bass and follow up by asking the usual rather naive questions.

Whereas kids in their 20's or 30's who find out the same thing are completely uninterested.

Or in one case looked up from her phone and said "Well, if you were playing in bands in the 1970's why weren't you famous ???"

I didn't sleep well that night...   😳     😳     😥

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It's the assumption thing - I'm old & white.......people will insist on asking me what music I like..........

Bunny Wailer / Lee Perry / Dennis Brown / Fred Wesley  are among the answers that result in a puzzled expression.

😎

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29 minutes ago, taunton-hobbit said:

It's the assumption thing - I'm old & white.......people will insist on asking me what music I like..........

Bunny Wailer / Lee Perry / Dennis Brown / Fred Wesley  are among the answers that result in a puzzled expression.

😎

 

nice selection :)

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1 hour ago, Rich said:

Quite a few years back a bunch of us in the office were talking about bands we'd seen 'before they were big'. We were just chatting really, but I think secretly we were trying to outdo each other. There was a pause in the conversation, and then one of the older guys looked up and said, "I saw Hendrix in Worcester..."

Instant win, end of contest :lol: 

 

 

my mum will always be cooler than me, because not only did she see the Beatles twice in Nelson (small Lancashire town, next to Burnley), she also saw the Stones there too. And The Who.

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4 minutes ago, Bob Lord said:

my mum will always be cooler than me, because not only did she see the Beatles twice in Nelson (small Lancashire town, next to Burnley), she also saw the Stones there too. And The Who.

Likewise - my Mum was right at the front watching Hendrix in London, went to the Isle of Wight festival in 1970 and left me to hang out with Paul McCartney for a couple of hours backstage at Hammersmith Odeon.

I'm not sure I will ever get close to being that cool. 

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18 hours ago, Vinny said:

'Jazz fans' they're called.

To modify another well known joke- How do you know if someone's a jazz fan? They'll tell you.

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I just tell people I play Accordion and Banjo and for some reason the conversation goes off in a different direction. I was thinking about taking up the bagpipes.

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1 minute ago, pete.young said:

I was thinking about taking up the bagpipes.

They're good fun, but anyone you speak to about the habit will either make the same dreadful "jokes"* or tell you about their distant Scottish ancestry and how much they love Scottish culture.

* Can you play something with a tune? How about playing "over the hills and far away"! Ha ha, ho ho! etc.

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