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gs_triumph

... And we all fall down again

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Hi, 

After 30 months of rehearsals, collectively thousands of pounds of equipment, three drummers and zero gigs our band has collapsed into a pool of nothingness. 

This isnt the first time.  We have been pretty much the same band - Guitar/vox, guitar and bass plus circulating drummers - for twenty years - year on, two years off, six month on, one year off and so on but have never got to the point of playing a gig.  We've had opportunities but other members of the band never felt we were ready. 

I think this may be the last time we'll get together to be honest.  I'm the one who pushes it, arranges rehearsals, look for opportunities but it always gets thrown back at me.  I'm done! 

I quit after it became clear - when pushed during a"where are we going" chat - the lead guitarist has no interest in gigging and only really wants a night out of the house away from his kids.  Everyone else has just kind of left it at that and the and is no more. 

Its a shame really as we were better than we've ever been and the core three were friends from school and this has resulted in a falling out - or "toys oot the pram" more like. 

Why can't people just be honest up front?  We all have personal lives and our own goals.  You'd think friends would like to help you achieve yours. I only agreed to give it another rgo if we were serious about doing something productive this time. 

I guess I'm just spouting off.  Here endeth the rant! 

 

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Plenty of good bands need a good and dedicated bass player. Sure you won't be on the shelf for long. And without the "band" you can resume friendships without the smouldering resentment at each others differing priorities with the band. 

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Don't blame you for quitting to be honest....20 years of on/off rehearsals and no gigs is a bit sad...not having a go at you.....you must be very easy going id of quit within 6 months if there was no commitment

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15 minutes ago, uk_lefty said:

Plenty of good bands need a good and dedicated bass player. Sure you won't be on the shelf for long. And without the "band" you can resume friendships without the smouldering resentment at each others differing priorities with the band. 

So long as the number of bands seeking dedicated bassists outweigh those looking for good bassists, I should be OK 😁👍

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Crikey, I thought several months of rehearsing without gigging was pushing it a bit and taking the p|ss - er... apart from now, was there no point during the twenty years you suspected your gigging career might not be as productive as it could be?? :D

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13 minutes ago, thebigyin said:

Don't blame you for quitting to be honest....20 years of on/off rehearsals and no gigs is a bit sad...not having a go at you.....you must be very easy going id of quit within 6 months if there was no commitment

I couldn't agree more 👍.

It is sad.  We are all really easy going.  That's probably the problem. 

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2 minutes ago, discreet said:

Crikey, I thought several months of rehearsing without gigging was pushing it a bit and taking the p|ss - er... apart from now, was there no point during the twenty years you suspected your gigging career might not be as productive as it could be?? :D

None of us ever pushed it until lately. 

I saw no point in trying again until everyone agreed we were going to proactively look for gigs, record some of our originals etc. 

Turns out one of us want bring honest. 

Edited by gs_triumph

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It depends what your goals are but for me playing in a band is about playing gigs. That requires putting in some time at the "coal face" to get a set of songs together you won't look stupid playing. You can soon tell if that's not going to happen in my experience. 

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11 minutes ago, gs_triumph said:

Turns out one of us want bring honest. 

I spent months rehearsing with a band, having joined on the condition we'd be doing regular gigs  Basically I was led down the garden path. They wanted a good bass player, but had no intention whatever of doing gigs. To say I wasn't best pleased is something of an understatement...

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Musicians are a nightmare. I mean other musicians are a nightmare

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15 minutes ago, fleabag said:

Musicians are a nightmare. I mean other musicians are a nightmare

Hell is other people. I forget who said it, but it's true. Thank God I can tolerate my own company. ;)

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Me too. I''ve never gotten into an argument with me.  I'd win anyway

 

( P.S.  John Paul Sartre )

 

Edited by fleabag

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2 hours ago, gs_triumph said:

I couldn't agree more 👍.

It is sad.  We are all really easy going.  That's probably the problem. 

Best of luck for the future you deserve better....sorry it came to a fall out with friends but that will resolve in time.

 

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Yes, but realistically, after investing 20 years, surely it's worth giving it another five?

Y'know ... just in case ...

;)

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6 hours ago, discreet said:

I spent months rehearsing with a band, having joined on the condition we'd be doing regular gigs  Basically I was led down the garden path. They wanted a good bass player, but had no intention whatever of doing gigs. To say I wasn't best pleased is something of an understatement...

Guys, does this make any sense?

If you want gigs don't join bands that don't have gigs booked and scheduled.

 

Blue

Edited by Bluewine
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37 minutes ago, Bluewine said:

If you want gigs don't join bands that don't have gigs booked and scheduled.

It was a start-up. And they seemed super-keen to get gigging. But it was a lie. I gave them the benefit of the doubt for a while, then walked. After making my opinion of them very clear.

Finding a band with a full diary is easier said than done. Even more difficult is finding a band with a full dairy. Blessed are the cheesemakers.

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9 minutes ago, discreet said:

It was a start-up. And they seemed super-keen to get gigging. But it was a lie. I gave them the benefit of the doubt for a while, then walked. After making my opinion of them very clear.

Finding a band with a full diary is easier said than done. Even more difficult is finding a band with a full dairy. Blessed are the cheesemakers.

In my area finding a band with gigs would not be easy, more like impossible.

As a matter of fact when and if my band folds I'm prepared to step back from bands. Finding a band with weekly gigs in my area would be impossible.

Blue

Edited by Bluewine

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4 minutes ago, discreet said:

It was a start-up. And they seemed super-keen to get gigging. But it was a lie. I gave them the benefit of the doubt for a while, then walked. After making my opinion of them very clear.

 

I've been around for a while. A lot of these guys absolutely love the idea of gigging, but at the end of the day don't have what it takes to get gigs.

Most start ups never see their first gig.

Blue

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14 minutes ago, Bluewine said:

A lot of these guys absolutely love the idea of gigging...

They love the idea of being in a band too, and being able to say 'I'm in a band' is often enough for them. But when it comes to actual work, sacrifice and commitment, it's another matter entirely.

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Nowadays - life is too short and I am too old - I would only join a band that is actually gigging. I've reached a level of (in)competence where learning a full set of songs doesn't really phase me. In fact I quite enjoy it!

The whole sorry business of starting a new band from scratch is too horrible to think about. 

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5 minutes ago, thepurpleblob said:

Nowadays - life is too short and I am too old - I would only join a band that is actually gigging. I've reached a level of (in)competence where learning a full set of songs doesn't really phase me. In fact I quite enjoy it!

The whole sorry business of starting a new band from scratch is too horrible to think about. 

Agreed, age is a factor. If I was a young guy a "start up" would be fine. But at my age, too horrible to think about.

Blue

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10 minutes ago, discreet said:

They love the idea of being in a band too, and being able to say 'I'm in a band' is often enough for them. But when it comes to actual work, sacrifice and commitment, it's another matter entirely.

I joined a band once because their material was great in my opinion.

Found out after a few months the band leader was only interested in playing the part of "rock star" in his basement.

Blue

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I must admit to being one of the 'if we hadn't started looking to arrange gigs at the 3 month stage I would be looking for something else' types. But only if I was really enjoying the band for those 3 months, otherwise I would want to be gigging much quicker.

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@bluewine with all due respect your situation is very different.

We are a bunch of mates who love music, own instruments, and love(d) each others company. 

Is not the same as someone who is looking for a gigging band to make a buck.  It's purely fun. 

I make enough money in my day job (if indeed that is actually possible 🤔😀

There no way music would make me enough money with my ability/mindset

Edited by gs_triumph

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