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Should I stay or should I go?


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On 5/1/2018 at 13:28, Al Krow said:

What if he happened  to be called Jeff Beck?

I agree...if the band is named after an established and high profile player who would attract fans in their own right, then fair enough. However most of the time bands are named after the guitarist who's only well known in his own street...and probably for being a self centred has been/never was/wannabee (...and owner of a PA)

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12 minutes ago, TheGreek said:

I agree...if the band is named after an established and high profile player who would attract fans in their own right, then fair enough. However most of the time bands are named after the guitarist who's only well known in his own street...and probably for being a self centred has been/never was/wannabee (...and owner of a PA)

Don't underestimate the value of owning the PA. I'm sure it's the only reason I've not been sacked by both my bands...

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On 5/1/2018 at 12:17, AntLockyer said:

If it were me I'd leave. Highlighting the reasons above and being open to a 'please don't go' conversation

+1 To the above - sounds like a lot of aggro, and life's too short to do something that isn't working when you've got the wrong people on board.

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We are all planning to meet up tonight and discuss this further. To be honest I already have one foot out of the door.

Alread planning to downsize my 2 barefaced Supercompact cabs and Markbass head for one of the new Blackstar 500w combo as they are amazing but overkill for my basic needs and leaving me about a grand in my pocket if I sell a couple of pedals too. 

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17 minutes ago, pbasspecial said:

...planning to downsize my 2 barefaced Supercompact cabs and Markbass head as they are amazing but overkill for my basic needs...

Sounds like you've already made a decision and I can't say that I blame you. Good luck.

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The drummer sounds like I do whenever a girlfriend says to me "we need to talk"  I don't think he's expecting it to go well for him.

From my own experience, most of the niggles in your original post are exactly the sort of things that I can generally put up with if everything's going brilliantly, and immediately start to grate as soon as they're not.  And from my own experience, the others will have no idea that they're doing anything wrong - people who are always late simply cannot understand why anybody gets upset about them being late all the time, etc.

From an impartial point of view (well, impartialish) the one red flag in what you said was that the drummer is still making mistakes on tempos and endings, etc.  I'm a bit unclear on how long the band's been together but these things should be nailed after a couple of rehearsals, not continually making the same mistakes.

No advice from me on whether to stay or go, but if you're not enjoying it and you're not getting anywhere, why would you stay unless things change?

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Update:

Just got back.  Had a long evening in the bar where we spent the first hour avoiding the elephant in the room.  After this it was brought up. That I wasn't happy and that things were going too slowly and we need more structure, discipline and passion, etc.

I tried to keep it as a friendly open forum of ideas and it was quite pleasant but as the evening wore on I could see that the drummer understood my point of view that we need to work harder but the guitarist was becoming unaware of how serious my feelings were/didn't care and that basically I think he is unwilling to change.  Happy to point mine and the drummers weak spots but I don't think he realises he is the weakest musician.  I had a side conversation with the drummer (who was very reasonable) when he went for a wee about how I think the singer is going backwards and that he doesn't respect us.

I left them both having a beer in the garden.  I imagine the drummer might mention that it's a lot more serious than he thinks it is.

I've got a rehearsal on Tuesday and a gig on Saturday. Will do those.  I may even stay in until my holiday (3 weeks time) but I honestly think that I will walk before then because his head is so far up his bum right now he'd have to get a proctologist to brush his teeth.

Edited by pbasspecial
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1 minute ago, pbasspecial said:

...his head is so far up his bum right now he'd have to get a proctologist to brush his teeth.

Funny, yet tragic. ;) This says it all really. I think you should pull the trigger now, then do as much 'notice' as you deem appropriate.

Well done, though. It must have been hard to raise the subject. I would have expected the drummer to be the least bothered, just goes to show.

Perhaps the fact he was reluctant to reply to your initial request meant he knew what was coming...

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Thanks. It was tough because I wanted to go all in with the issues but I knew that would turn into a slanging match quite quickly and then the band is dead in the water.  Tried to gently go from easy to more difficult subjects to gauge reactions and hopefully get approval for change.  

Drummer seemed receptive.  Singer was just too cool for school and has the mental loop going round where he thinks his is the only opinion that matters.  Shame because he can be fun and a nice guy but realise the longer I stay in, the more angrier I will be.  

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On 02/05/2018 at 15:16, discreet said:

You're right of course Dad, but there's a big difference between being four years over the limit and forty years over the limit. Isn't there? :P ;)

Have you seen the band 'New Amen Corner'?  Young (brilliant) singer, even younger drummer, and the bassist is the drummer's Dad!  Big age range........

But (IMHO) a fantastic band.

Edited by Baxlin
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