Help to motivate to play when depressed

[Guest oZZma]

10 minutes ago, Dan Dare said:

If you are a "beginner", I'm afraid you have to learn your craft, serve your apprenticeship if you will, before you can expect to play with "PROs". 

I don't want to play with PROs, if it was not clear from my message. I mentioned the reasons why I lost my hopes to find anyone to play with. 

They are EITHER pros (and I would not even ask, I'm not stupid)

OR musicians as crappy as me, more or less, that feel oh so cool because they are "into" things 

I hope it's clear now

Edited January 17, 2019 by oZZma

[Marc S]

First of all - I'm really sorry to hear you are suffering with depression. But it's also good to hear that you've got the medical side of things sorted, and that you've been to your doctor
I've met many people who have not sought out advice from their GP's or who don't really address their problems, and that's a far worse position to be in.

Re the flu you've just got over - I've just had a cold, which lasted around 3 weeks! It wasn't awful, I've felt worse with flu - but fighting any such illness is draining physically for your body. So it's quite natural that you don't have the energy for other things in life. We all go through phases like that anyway. I'm sure it will pass with time.

Dan Dare has a good point, re investing "all of yourself" into one thing - he's right that if something goes wrong, it can have a profound effect, but also you can be drawn in so much that you fail to see the wider picture.
Of course, everyone is different, and we each react differently to a given situation, and what works for one doesn't always work for others. My advice to you would be.... small steps - in everything
Don't "overload" yourself with practice / rehearsing. Try just doing 20 or 30 minutes here and there. Sometimes, I'm so busy that I don't get much time - so I just do a short spell of jamming along to one or two songs on YouTube. I really love the Firestick I got a few years back, because I can jam along with music videos on my TV.

Maybe try a few songs you haven't tried before? Or perhaps a song you haven't heard in a while, but enjoy listening to - and don't beat yourself up if you can't work out every note... just work out what the root notes and structure to the song are. What songs make you feel happier, or do you just like listening to? Getting out & jamming with others can go either way - but I would recommend giving it a go... but perhaps you need to find a new open-mic or jam session - somewhere you've not been before?

When going through a divorce (years back) I set myself the task of getting fitter -  but I did things in small steps, each having a realistic goal... like jogging around a certain circuit. First of all, take a couple of attempts to complete the circuit without stopping. Once I was able to do that, the next step was to extend the circuit. The next was to reduce my time by 20 seconds, then by another 20... but each time, making the next goal an achievable one, rather than trying to jump too far ahead with unrealistic targets....

Whatever you do - best of luck with it. So many of us have been there, or near to where you are now. Let us know how you get on

EDIT: Once you start achieving "other things" - things that only you have control of, you may feel more positive about playing music....

Edited January 17, 2019 by Marc S

[kendall]

1 hour ago, oZZma said:

I've been looking for a guitar player for two years without any success.

I'm more and more convinced that if you are not friend's friend with the èlite of the wonderful scene here you don't even exists

(yes, I've reached the HATE EVERYONE phase)

Hey - I feel your pain.  I am in a similar position to you.  I play Death/Tech metal and write my own music.  Never managed to find anyone committed or even remotely interested.  I ended up buying myself a guitar and learning to play the rhythm riffs myself.  I think it helped expand my bass playing and gave me a new focus.  My next step was a drum machine, which was less successful, but did bridge a gap I had.

Happy enough now that I can make my own music in full.  All I need is my DAW, my guitar, bass and drum machine.  

 

 

[Guest oZZma]

1 minute ago, kendall said:

Hey - I feel your pain.  I am in a similar position to you.  I play Death/Tech metal and write my own music.  Never managed to find anyone committed or even remotely interested.  I ended up buying myself a guitar and learning to play the rhythm riffs myself.  I think it helped expand my bass playing and gave me a new focus.  My next step was a drum machine, which was less successful, but did bridge a gap I had.

Happy enough now that I can make my own music in full.  All I need is my DAW, my guitar, bass and drum machine.  

 

 

I think I will end that way.  It's not what I wanted, I would have liked the human factor in a band, but it's better than doing nothing or dealing with this overwhelming frustration.

[kendall]

7 minutes ago, oZZma said:

I think I will end that way.  It's not what I wanted, I would have liked the human factor in a band, but it's better than doing nothing or dealing with this overwhelming frustration.

Good luck and remember - when you work with yourself - you never need to compromise.....so that's one less thing to worry about.

[Guest oZZma]

1 minute ago, kendall said:

Good luck and remember - when you work with yourself - you never need to compromise.....so that's one less thing to worry about.

this is the one really positive thing in doing everything by yourself.

[Unknown_User]

37 minutes ago, oZZma said:

I'm very well aware of that. But I have nothing else

I'm alone, far away from my family, in an unwelcoming town surrounded by unwelcoming people. My "life" ended 4 years ago.

Only the band is keeping me away from suicidal tendencies, no joking.

I don't want to sound like I'm being flippant but if living where you do is making you feel that bad, perhaps consider moving?  Especially if it's not your home town and you don't have roots there.

[Guest oZZma]

17 minutes ago, Unknown_User said:

I don't want to sound like I'm being flippant but if living where you do is making you feel that bad, perhaps consider moving?  Especially if it's not your home town and you don't have roots there.

Unfortunately positions for the kind of job I do are bond to this specific area. I could go abroad but honestly I think I would feel even more isolated than I am now.

 

[ubit]

I myself went through a similar issue. I lost my rotational job and was forced to go back to an ad hoc type arrangement for work. It meant I could no longer plan band rehearsals, never mind gigs, as I never knew when I would be home or away. I have a spare bedroom that I used as a music room and we used to rehearse in there. The room gradually became a store and filled up more and more with rubbish. Even if I wanted to play, I couldn't get into the room. I found myself becoming depressed due to the demands of my job. I realise depression can be brought on by many different things. Mine was never being able to plan anything in my life. Money became tight, as I would make more or less depending on how busy work was. I have had many black days.

One day I decided to clear out the room and make time to play. I spent a whole weekend moving stuff, throwing stuff out, cleaning stuff etc. Once my rehearsal space was clear again, I found I had a renewed interest and I have started playing again. The job is still hard, but I find making time to play in a proper environment, has cleared my head. I still can't get time to rehearse with the band, but I can find to play myself. The very act of playing has brought me out of some black moods.

[Newfoundfreedom]

This is a subject which is very close to my heart. Being an intermittent sufferer myself for many years and having come close to the brink several times this is the way I have learned to deal with it. If you don't feel like playing, don't play. If you don't feel like getting out of bed, don't (if that is an option). If you don't feel like facing people, don't! In fact don't do anything you don't want to do. It will only make things worse and you may well end up hating something (or someone) you love. I've learned to acknowledge my depression. I let it in. I wallow in it. But I do it very much with the mindset that I am purposely taking time out to recharge my batteries for a limited time. It's an illness. I treat it like I would if I had the flu. It's like going in to survival mode. I call them my mental health days, and I find the less I fight it, the more quickly it passes. The more I ignore it the more I get angry and frustrated and it just prolongs the inevitable. 

Don't sell your gear. In fact try not to make any decisions about anything while you're in that mindset if you can help it. 

 

[ubit]

42 minutes ago, Newfoundfreedom said:

Don't sell your gear. In fact try not to make any decisions about anything while you're in that mindset if you can help it

This!

Not suggesting you are in this place but on a similar type of story. I once saw a programme on tv a while back and it was about people who had survived jumping from the Golden Gate bridge. This guy had tracked down the other people who had survived this feat ( 12 people) and he said EVERY one of them said the same thing. As soon as they leapt. They regretted it!

Edited January 17, 2019 by ubit

[martthebass]

Also a sufferer - mixed anxiety and depression; it's definitely no fun.

Firstly Ozzma, you're not alone and you have a good sounding board with the guys on here.

Secondly, don't feel stressed to enjoy music/bass when you're in the trough, it'll come back when it's time and worrying about it will just make it worse.  Leaving the gear in the corner for a while isn't going to hurt anybody.  When the feeling comes back use music/bass playing to help in your emergence from the trough.

Lastly, don't limit yourself to a very specific musical genre - play with other guys and other music but only when you're ready and on your terms.  If I only played the stuff I like I would have been a much less active musician than I am. 

I also tend to suffer from SAD, and one of the things that helps me get through the winter is playing every weekend with the band.  Hard to be down when you have to motivate yourself to dress up in 70s gear and wear makeup and a wig.

all the best mate.

 

[Monkey Steve]

fortunately I'm not a sufferer, so this isn't a tip about dealing with depression, but the one thing that gets me out of bass boredom and the general feeling of not being that bothered about playing: just changing the strings!  New, zingy sound, and suddenly the ennui is lifted and I want to play again.

Fully appreciate that it's my solution, and won't work for everybody.  Good luck in finding what works for you

[Guest oZZma]

44 minutes ago, martthebass said:

 

Lastly, don't limit yourself to a very specific musical genre - play with other guys and other music but only when you're ready and on your terms.  If I only played the stuff I like I would have been a much less active musician than I am. 

 

 

Fact is, for me Is more about having a life goal than just playing. I could be more active if I played other genres but I would feel frustrated anyways... I wanted to make things seriously with this project of mine, but people I tried with don't have the passion to dedicate more than just little time once a week, twice when I'm lucky.

Edited January 17, 2019 by oZZma

[ubit]

50 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said:

fortunately I'm not a sufferer, so this isn't a tip about dealing with depression, but the one thing that gets me out of bass boredom and the general feeling of not being that bothered about playing: just changing the strings!  New, zingy sound, and suddenly the ennui is lifted and I want to play again.

Fully appreciate that it's my solution, and won't work for everybody.  Good luck in finding what works for you

When I cleared out my spare bedroom ( music room).That was one of the things I did. I changed the strings on every bass. I have 14. Just messing about with them, all having a lovely bright tone, was a tonic in itself and felt like a new beginning!

[ubit]

5 hours ago, oZZma said:

Unfortunately positions for the kind of job I do are bond to this specific area. I could go abroad but honestly I think I would feel even more isolated than I am now.

 

Moving isn't always the answer, not least for the reason you provided. Sometimes being at home around family or friends can be a help, although I realise you can still feel alone, even when surrounded by love. 

[josie]

Sympathy!

I've come through a rock-bottom couple of years (clinical diagnosis of trauma due to domestic %^&*) and one of my most important lifelines was my regular om duo partner, a brusque sort of chap who would just say "These are the two songs you're going to play with me next week" and I would do it, often resentfully, often badly, but it kept me alive. (Probably literally.) He's now in a dark place and I'm doing the same for him. 

I've also all my adult life managed severe Seasonal Affective Disorder, which does have the advantage that one knows exactly what is causing it and when the black dog will take his teeth out of one's throat and start to slink back into his corner. I've posted quite a bit about this on the "Depression" thread on OT. 

But I've discovered something else just in the last few days which is a bit of a light bulb moment. I decided that first thing every morning (well, after making a cup of good coffee - which I set up the night before to make it easy), while sitting with my light box, I would pick up my favourite bass and just play a few simple scales and riffs, stuff I could do with my eyes closed years ago. Startling. It somehow seems to wake up some good brain circuits which had shut down, and - the really surprising thing - the physical feel of the vibrations of the bass body feels strongly comforting and healing. I should have started doing this long ago. Even on a bad day when I never pick up the bass again, it reminds me, keeps me in touch. 

The thing is, if you have your favourite bass on a floor stand literally in arm's reach of your favourite chair, so you can reach out for it without thinking, then maybe you will. 

Please don't sell everything. It would mean that coming back to it would mean the effort and expense of going out and finding new gear - which you might not like as much anyway... and that might well be enough to stop you doing it. But if that one bass you love most is still there...

I've been an expert hand knitter almost all my life, I've designed and knitted museum quality Shetland lace shawls, among other things. Back in that bad time, I decided to give all my knitting stuff to my sister-in-law, but couldn't figure out how to get it to her, so it sat in the loft. Assumed I would never even think about doing it again. And then last year when my bass teacher was expecting his first baby I just suddenly wanted to knit a baby blanket, dragged some stuff down from the loft, found myself designing an original riff on some traditional patterns, and felt like I'd had an amputated body part re-attached.  

Sorry, I didn't mean to go on so long. Hope this helps.

   Josie x

[mcnach]

On 14/03/2018 at 13:50, markdavid said:

Hi All

First off apologies if this is in the wrong section, if so then I am sure the moderators will move as applicable , 2nd I am not looking for any medical advice with this topic, I am medicated so that is taken care of 

Have suffered depression for a while , Recently started to feel depressed again and it has crept up on me , as is sometimes the case I don't feel particularly sad I just don't feel much of anything.

Unfortunately this has extended to my bass playing and I cant motivate myself to practice, I just don't feel the enjoyment at the moment and part of me wants to sell all my equipment and just be done with it.

I am not enjoying listening to music all that much either.

I have just in the past couple days got over the flu so I think that has probably had a profound effect on my state of mind.

I am after some pointers to motivate myself back into music , hell it was hard enough to motivate myself to make this post, hoping someone has a good suggestion , thanks

 

 

 

Join a ska band!

 

Only half joking...

Back in late 2009 I don't think I had ever paid any attention to any in the ska universe, but a drummer friend of mine invited me to join this new project. Monday evenings at 8pm. I was tired, I was hungry (straight from work). It was cold, miserable weather. I was going through a bad period personally as well.

I'd drag myself to the rehearsal... I didn't drive then, it was a bad bus ride... Every Monday I'd tell myself "what am I doing? I'll come along but I have to tell them I can't continue".

However, I arrived... sax is practicing some harmonies with the trombone... and my bass amp was in front of them, one on each side... so I got the full brasstereo effect... and 10 minutes later I was all smiles, happy, and revitalised.

 

Of course, everybody is different but if you're here chances are you probably enjoy music more than the average person. For me, music is the drug that always helps me. No, it doesn't fix anything and doesn't cure me... but makes things more bearable and at times it's entirely changed my outlook. 

Still does.

 

And that band? lasted a month... drummer had issues, and we disbanded. Months later they reformed with another bass player and no trombone. But the ska bug had bitten. Our paths crossed again and I've been their bass player for two and a half years now

[markdavid]

Hi all, thought I would update on this thread, have made some good progress, am still struggling but somehow managing to get through it , have been practicing more and working (although not always successfully) towards certain musical goals.   

I have also been working on trying to expand a little on the more mundane, simple bass parts that I often have to play, sometimes with good success, sometimes not (sometimes root fifth is what is perfect for the song) but focusing on trying to play more interesting bass parts has brought back some of my enthusiasm for playing and I now have some nice basslines to play.

One thing i am still suffering from is brain fog, I went to a jam night the other night and me and a friend started playing the first song and my mind just went completely blank, I totally botched the first minute of the song, thankfully I redeemed myself a little later in the set .

[SpondonBassed]

2 hours ago, markdavid said:

One thing i am still suffering from is brain fog,

Yeah, I get that a lot.

With the singing, I used to keep a crib sheet in my pocket with the first line of each song in the set.  It was a good memory jogger.  When I next perform on bass (even at an OM), I may well try the same with a line of TAB for each song that is new to my set.

[ubit]

What I am doing is setting myself goals. I’m saying right, I will be able to play this all the way though. Then I work on the singing. When and if my job changes and we get back playing, I will be ready with a few songs of my choosing. With good bass parts. It’s a better feeling than just learning bits of songs. 

[SpondonBassed]

1 hour ago, ubit said:

What I am doing is setting myself goals. I’m saying right, I will be able to play this all the way though. Then I work on the singing. When and if my job changes and we get back playing, I will be ready with a few songs of my choosing. With good bass parts. It’s a better feeling than just learning bits of songs. 

Have you not got a fantasy set?

I've had one for a few years now.  I add to it sometimes and other times I drop numbers from the shortlist but I have a core of popular songs that I like.  I put the tunes onto random play with the bass turned down and play through a few songs at a time without pause.  It sharpens me up on the intros doing so.  I do need to work with live musicians though.  Recordings are inflexible carbon-copy-every-time propositions.

The repetitive aspect can hit you at some point and you might wish you never had to play some of them again but then isn't that what happens to working musicians anyway?  After a bit, that goes away and you can often find yourself rediscovering an old favourite from a completely different point of view.

I have about forty songs (covers) in my set.  I'm happy with that number for my own practice but it leaves room to learn new songs in order to satisfy a role in another band down the line.  Bear in mind that I have not been in a band since 1987.

Edited January 24, 2019 by SpondonBassed

[ubit]

@SpondonBassed  have you heard of “ the amazing slow downer” software from Roni Music? It’s superb. You can play your music and slow it down, but it stays in the same pitch. It’s great for working out stuff.  I use it all the time. 

[dmccombe7]

I'm afraid i don't know much or enough about depression and what it is so i can't imagine what you are going thru but i think the advice already given has been really promising.

I took a break for about 15yrs for other reasons and like others above when i got back into it again aged 50 it was like a new lease of life. 

Take a short break and see what it feels like. 

Are you able to refocus on something else. For some it might be work that actually helps pull you out of depression but that depends on the job. I used to find a breakdown where i was totally engrossed in fault finding just seemed to clear my mind of any other issues i had. Not sure if that makes any sense to you. ?

Musically what about learning another instrument as a challenge ?

Dave

 

 

[SpondonBassed]

1 hour ago, ubit said:

@SpondonBassed  have you heard of “ the amazing slow downer” software from Roni Music? It’s superb. You can play your music and slow it down, but it stays in the same pitch. It’s great for working out stuff.  I use it all the time. 

Yes thanks.

I have the same facility with VLC media player.  It's free and is the most versatile freeware media player that I know.