Quitting A Gigging Band?

[Woodinblack]

3 hours ago, chris_b said:

More than once I've had a band leader see me playing in a terrible band and offer me a gig in a better band, so keep gigging and plan the next step.

I suspect that is something that is much more likely to happen in somewhere like london!

[Bluewine]

15 minutes ago, Woodinblack said:

I suspect that is something that is much more likely to happen in somewhere like london!

Unless your well networked nobody that's in a position to do something for you us not going to see you in a Milwaukee bar and make you an offer.

Maybe back in the 70, or maybe in London.

Blue

[chris_b]

6 hours ago, Woodinblack said:

I suspect that is something that is much more likely to happen in somewhere like london!

I suspect you're right but the competition is greater in the London area.

[discreet]

2 minutes ago, chris_b said:

I suspect you're right but the competition is greater in the London area.

Yes, up to a point - but there are a lot more flakes and fantasists, too.

[chris_b]

16 minutes ago, discreet said:

Yes, up to a point - but there are a lot more flakes and fantasists, too.

Tell me about it!!!!!

[christhammer666]

On ‎12‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 18:57, spongebob said:

 

Trouble is, new bands here are not exactly easy to come by. By leaving, I could be band-less for some time to come. It's not an easy decision to make.....

I totally understand this bit but lifes to short to hang around being unhappy. Take the leap

[Yank]

Form a new band.  Get out and network.  Make something new happen. Gig your old band while it's available but put all your energy into the new one.  Use the money from the old to fund the new.  A new piece of gear you've been wanting, perhaps.  Never throw away gigs!  Use them like a rented mule.

[tinyd]

On 13/02/2018 at 13:14, spongebob said:

...has become a second set cheese fest of Mustang/Summer Of '69, etc., every gig. ..

...Going back to playing Bryan Adams to the bar staff....just lost it's appeal...

 

Sounds like you're bored of the material - might be worth speaking to the others (apart from drummer), suggesting a completely new set list and seeing who wants to join you.

[Monkey Steve]

7 hours ago, Yank said:

Form a new band.  Get out and network.  Make something new happen. Gig your old band while it's available but put all your energy into the new one.  Use the money from the old to fund the new.  A new piece of gear you've been wanting, perhaps.  Never throw away gigs!  Use them like a rented mule.

this

stop doing stuff you hate and start doing stuff you like, and if you're not inundated with offers from new bands, why not start something yourself.

In terms of quitting, I'd suggest doing it on as friendly terms as you can manage, and as others have suggested, try a clear the air chat first.  Personally I'd offer to do the gigs that are in the diary if they can't find a replacement in time, but refuse to book any more.

[spongebob]

Well, that's it - I'm done!

I'm staying on to honour any gigs until my replacement is found, but that'll hopefully be within a few weeks, so if I'm lucky just the one to play.

It feels a bit odd, and I'm not sure where I'll go from here. Part of me never wants to play again, so it's a wait and see. The worst thing is, I ordered a new bass on pre-order back in early November, and paid the deposit. So I've definitely got to sell the current one anyway, as I don't want or need 2.

Had a scan at the classified sites, not much going on at the moment....and there's no way I want to go back to playing the same old to a pub audience, so I'm not sure where I'll go from here. Playing music is what I've done, forever, and at 43, maybe it's time to step and do something else, and get away from what's defined me for most of my life. I feel as if all the effort I've put in....there's been a few good highs, but I'm essentially where I was at the beginning, often in the same spaces. And that's just not enough anymore.

 

[chrispbass]

15 minutes ago, spongebob said:

Well, that's it - I'm done!

I'm staying on to honour any gigs until my replacement is found, but that'll hopefully be within a few weeks, so if I'm lucky just the one to play.

It feels a bit odd, and I'm not sure where I'll go from here. Part of me never wants to play again, so it's a wait and see. The worst thing is, I ordered a new bass on pre-order back in early November, and paid the deposit. So I've definitely got to sell the current one anyway, as I don't want or need 2.

Had a scan at the classified sites, not much going on at the moment....and there's no way I want to go back to playing the same old to a pub audience, so I'm not sure where I'll go from here. Playing music is what I've done, forever, and at 43, maybe it's time to step and do something else, and get away from what's defined me for most of my life. I feel as if all the effort I've put in....there's been a few good highs, but I'm essentially where I was at the beginning, often in the same spaces. And that's just not enough anymore.

 

I've been fortunate to gig all over the world and still do, but recently started playing back in pubs and I love it. Its where I started and probably where I'll finish. The main thing is the company you keep! 

[Bluewine]

11 hours ago, christhammer666 said:

I totally understand this bit but lifes to short to hang around being unhappy. Take the leap

I'd rather be gigging and unhappy than happy and not gigging.

 

But how could I not be gigging and happy? 😁

Blue

[Bluewine]

1 hour ago, spongebob said:

Well, that's it - I'm done!

I'm staying on to honour any gigs until my replacement is found, but that'll hopefully be within a few weeks, so if I'm lucky just the one to play.

It feels a bit odd, and I'm not sure where I'll go from here. Part of me never wants to play again, so it's a wait and see. The worst thing is, I ordered a new bass on pre-order back in early November, and paid the deposit. So I've definitely got to sell the current one anyway, as I don't want or need 2.

Had a scan at the classified sites, not much going on at the moment....and there's no way I want to go back to playing the same old to a pub audience, so I'm not sure where I'll go from here. Playing music is what I've done, forever, and at 43, maybe it's time to step and do something else, and get away from what's defined me for most of my life. 

 

In your case your still young and probably a good time to move on to something else.

I'll never have that option because playing/ gigging at the bar band level is who I am and all I'll ever be and all I want to be at this stage of the game.

And BTW, I like being me.

Blue

Edited February 14, 2018 by Bluewine

[Bluewine]

1 hour ago, chrispbass said:

I've been fortunate to gig all over the world and still do, but recently started playing back in pubs and I love it. Its where I started and probably where I'll finish. The main thing is the company you keep! 

I"m 65, not a whole lot of time  left.

If I collapsed and fell into an inch of urine while playing a bar gig I'd be cool with it.

I say, go out with a bit of dignity.😁

Blue

Edited February 14, 2018 by Bluewine

[chrispbass]

8 minutes ago, Bluewine said:

I"m 65, not a whole lot of time  left.

If I collapsed and fell into an inch of urine while playing a bar gig I'd be cool with it.

I say, go out with a bit of dignity.😁

Blue

I intend to and have paid my dues over the last 30 yrs. At 43, I'm still young enough to hopefully have a good few thousand gig miles left in me and old enough to have gathered a bit of wisdom. 

Bottom line, its about experiences and hopefully enjoyment. If you're lucky enough to retire on the short comings then congratulations

[Al Krow]

 

2 hours ago, spongebob said:

Well, that's it - I'm done! I'm staying on to honour any gigs until my replacement is found, but that'll hopefully be within a few weeks, so if I'm lucky just the one to play.

... I'm not sure where I'll go from here. Playing music is what I've done, forever, and at 43, maybe it's time to step and do something else, and get away from what's defined me for most of my life. 

 

Well done for taking that decision - it was clearly not an easy one.

Life definitely doesn't end at 43!! I picked up a bass for the first time five years older than you are now! I decided the easiest way to be in bands whose music I loved was to be a founding member and I'm now in two both of which I love (although there are times when it doesn't feel that way!). It was definitely a bit of a slog to begin with and, like with any family, there have been plenty of off moments, but we've thus far somehow managed to come out smiling.

One door closes and another one will surely open. 

[Bluewine]

 

We're all different;

I can handle being unhappy.

I can't handle not gigging.

Blue

[dave_bass5]

On 12/02/2018 at 20:09, spongebob said:

It's like the fun has gone. It's not the band it was, and won't be again. It kind of puts me off picking up the bass....I've probably played about an hour in the last 2 weeks. 

I know how it's going, it's just the thought of the jump into nothing.....and how long that can last..... 

This mirrors my past 13 years with the same band. We were all mates at the start, but after the cracks started appearing a big rift in the band appeared, and it became a chore. I wasn't goin to leave as i enjoyed gigging still, so i persuaded those that weren't enjoying it to leave, so the rest could carry on. Me and the drummer kept it going for another two years before he to jacked it in. This was down to us never really finding the fun with the new members that we wanted. 

 

[Al Krow]

18 hours ago, Bluewine said:

We're all different; I can handle being unhappy. I can't handle not gigging.

Blue

Would it be fair to say that not-gigging makes you unhappy?   

7 minutes ago, dave_bass5 said:

This mirrors my past 13 years with the same band. We were all mates at the start, but after the cracks started appearing a big rift in the band appeared, and it became a chore. I wasn't goin to leave as i enjoyed gigging still, so i persuaded those that weren't enjoying it to leave, so the rest could carry on. Me and the drummer kept it going for another two years before he to jacked it in. This was down to us never really finding the fun with the new members that we wanted. 

You kinda touch on a really key point, which is: what is it about being in a band that makes it a worthwhile, fun endeavour?

[dave_bass5]

20 minutes ago, Al Krow said:

Would it be fair to say that not-gigging makes you unhappy?   

You kinda touch on a really key point, which is: what is it about being in a band that makes it a worthwhile, fun endeavour?

Actually i can cope with it not being 'much' fun. As long as i enjoy the gigs and get paid im pretty much ok. Obvious having a lot of fun and getting paid is better, or even having a lot of fun and note getting paid (i would do it for nothing if i had to, as long as it interested me). My biggest issue was the miserable gigs we were now getting, due to lack of pushing the band forward, the others not wanting to change the set or put in new songs, and the obvious lack of wanting to be there from one or two of them. IME all it takes is one or two members moaning about things to bring the whole 'vibe' down. Thats when its not fun, especially as it was me getting the gigs.

[spongebob]

1 hour ago, dave_bass5 said:

This mirrors my past 13 years with the same band. We were all mates at the start, but after the cracks started appearing a big rift in the band appeared, and it became a chore. I wasn't goin to leave as i enjoyed gigging still, so i persuaded those that weren't enjoying it to leave, so the rest could carry on. Me and the drummer kept it going for another two years before he to jacked it in. This was down to us never really finding the fun with the new members that we wanted. 

 

Our drummer bad luck certainly never helped. Our current one is a nightmare to play with....he thinks he's Roger Taylor! His drums are all tuned really low, he brings a massive kit which takes an age to construct and put away, and during every gap between songs he insists on attempting 'We Will Rock You'. Really!

That mixed in with his inability to learn how to play the song, not just 4/4 over everything, regardless on nuances, never helps either.

I think we've managed to add 2 new songs to the set in nearly 3 years, the writing and recording also stopped. I'm personally not happy to play a dwindling amount of gigs to less and less people, doing the same 6-year old set with a drummer who can't be bothered to learn it.

The trouble is, given the majority of bands, new start and old, around here are mainly 'pub' giggers, opportunities for anything else are thin on the ground. A band that just wants to rehearse? No thanks. Another pub gig band? Been there, done that.

Kind of leaves a problem, and a question for the inspiration to keep playing.

[Al Krow]

58 minutes ago, spongebob said:

The trouble is, given the majority of bands, new start and old, around here are mainly 'pub' giggers, opportunities for anything else are thin on the ground. A band that just wants to rehearse? No thanks. Another pub gig band? Been there, done that.

Kind of leaves a problem, and a question for the inspiration to keep playing.

So what is it that you would really like to be doing and do you have the skill-set to be doing it? e.g. no point me thinking I could be the next:

a) 'cos I can't sing!

b) 'cos I'm not a good enough bass player;

c) 'cos I've got a full time job and a family.

One thing I do know is that we typically overestimate what we can achieve in 3 months. But too often undersell what we can do, if we're focused, over 3 years.

What would you really love to be doing in three years time, musically, that realistically (and with a bit of effort) you could be aiming for?

[dave_bass5]

22 hours ago, spongebob said:

Our drummer bad luck certainly never helped. Our current one is a nightmare to play with....he thinks he's Roger Taylor! His drums are all tuned really low, he brings a massive kit which takes an age to construct and put away, and during every gap between songs he insists on attempting 'We Will Rock You'. Really!

That mixed in with his inability to learn how to play the song, not just 4/4 over everything, regardless on nuances, never helps either.

 

Seems like 'our' drummer is in more than one band ;-(

[Heathy]

Regarding quitting a band with work in the diary, I think that if you're unhappy it's probably better form to give notice that you intend to leave (and are prepared to honour what's in the diary if you're still required) rather than just keep going and jump ship when something better comes along.

Possibly not the case if you depend on gigs as your primary source of income, but I don't think that applies to many of us.

 

[spongebob]

I'm doing another gig as a final one, the a friend of the BL's (whose depped for me before) will cover the remaining bookings. 

I think that's the end of the band, anyway. As I mentioned, I felt that it's been on the slide for a while....and my leaving has confirmed it, given that I won't be replaced, and the rest of the gigs will just get covered.