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time wasters on join my band ( website)

synthaside

By synthaside,
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keefbaker Enthusiast

keefbaker

Posted
Posted

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1456492687' post='2989584']
If they are wearing a hat, have a bushy beard and turn out to be bald, dial 999 and ask for the Coastguard.
[/quote]

Coastguart anti-hipster division specifically (says the bald bloke with a small beard who wears a hat in the winter because BEING BALD IS COLD, OK?!?)

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discreet Grand Master

discreet

Posted
Posted (edited)

[quote name='keefbaker' timestamp='1456493036' post='2989590']
Coastguart anti-hipster division specifically (says the bald bloke with a small beard who wears a hat in the winter because BEING BALD IS COLD, OK?!?)
[/quote]

I already knew from your belligerent posts that you were bald. :lol: I actually meant that if you meet a bald bearded bloke wearing a hat you've probably got a sailor on your hands and should alert the authorities...

Edited by discreet
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RockfordStone Community Regular

RockfordStone

Posted
Posted

i look through joinmyband a lot and there are several things that would put me off if i'm honest

1 - [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]"very childish 40 year old" generally, i want people just to say they are 40, not trying make them look younger by saying childish or a "young 40", it's a real turn off for me, just be honest[/font][/color]
[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]2 - [/font][/color][font="helvetica, arial, sans-serif"][color="#282828"]"zany singing drummer" - this combined with point one makes your band sound amateur and childish to me, which i doubt is the case but that's the vibe i get. people are put off by people being zany or people trying to be younger than they are.[/color][/font]
[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]3 - You want to do floor fillers for wedding gigs but may do originals. I'd want you to be specific, do you want to play wedding gigs or originals gigs, because the pay and commitments are totally different[/font][/color]
[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]4 - its not clear if its maternity cover or a full time gig, id want to know that its a full time slot and not 6-12 month cover where by i'd be just an add on and not have a say in decisions etc.[/font][/color]

[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]it might be harsh criticism, but a lot of people will make a judgement on any advert others put up and can form an opinion, especially musicians who have been there and seen this all before. having looked at your response, i probably wouldn't respond.[/font][/color]

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discreet Grand Master

discreet

Posted
Posted

[quote name='RockfordStone' timestamp='1456493549' post='2989598']
...[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]I probably wouldn't respond.[/font][/color]
[/quote]

I might respond, but first I'd ask if any band members were zany, voluptuous, bubbly, bald, bearded or wore a hat. Then I'd decide.

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dlloyd Rising Star

dlloyd

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Posted

[quote name='Stylon Pilson' timestamp='1456488836' post='2989512']
My notes:[list=1]
[*]Things like grammar, punctuation, capitalisation etc. Every single mistake, no matter how small, seems sloppy.
[*]Make it clear up front whether it's a permanent replacement or temporary. You also witter on a bit much in the opening paragraph - "and as she should with a little one on the way." is totally unnecessary.
[*]"zany singing drummer" - remove "zany"
[*]"very childish 40 year old" - I know that this seems endearing, but for many people a 40 year old who behaves like a kid is a huge red flag
[*]Rather than say "it's not going to be a major source of income", just say how many gigs you do, and clarify that you have no plans to increase or decrease that number. They'll be able to do the sums.
[*]"would not be against doing originals" - try to express this in a way that sounds a bit more self-confident.
[/list]
S.P.
[/quote]

This exactly. I read the advert before reading the thread and I think I would have declined the audition, unless I was absolutely desperate to get out of the house.

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discreet Grand Master

discreet

Posted
Posted (edited)

[quote name='synthaside' timestamp='1456494318' post='2989612']
I guess my problem is that I'm 30 and bearded with long hair, while the lead guitarist is also 30 but rapidly losing his .
Perhaps I just shouldn't be trusted with a crayon let alone a keyboard .
[/quote]

Give the crayon to your guitarist, he can use it to draw some hair on his head until you've selected your band member. By the time they realise he's bald, it will be too late. Get everyone else to have a bit of a shave and a haircut, avoid being too zany and childish and you'll be golden.

Edited by discreet
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mrtcat Mentor

mrtcat

Posted
Posted

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1456488280' post='2989496']

The one thing that I find common in the type of ad your posting. It sounds like a band that rehearses more than they gig.

[/quote]

This. It would put me off. Also the fact that it's only a temporary position.

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Jazzneck Collaborator

Jazzneck

Posted
Posted

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1456493337' post='2989595']
I already knew from your belligerent posts that you were bald. :lol: I actually meant that if you meet a bald bearded bloke wearing a hat you've probably got a sailor in your hands and should alert the authorities...
[/quote]

Fixed it! ;)

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keefbaker Enthusiast

keefbaker

Posted
Posted

[quote name='Jazzneck' timestamp='1456495507' post='2989638']
then all off to the pub with my ashes :D .
[/quote]

I'm absolutely up with your idea.

If it were me I'd make sure they bring out a big cake at the pub and spread my ashes on top of the cake and nobody is allowed to leave until they eat a piece of cake.

Also: Make sure they don't grind me up too hard when they cremate me so I can still be a pain in the arse after I'm gone.

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blue Mentor

blue

Posted
Posted (edited)

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1456492687' post='2989584']
And beware of any candidates who are wearing a hat. They are doing so to focus attention away from some defect or other. They could even be bald, which is a no-no, obviously. Bushy beards are the same. There is no good reason for [i]anyone [/i]to have a bushy beard. Avoid. If they are wearing a hat, have a bushy beard and turn out to be bald, dial 999 and ask for the Coastguard.
[/quote]

Never got the whole bushy beard thing. Why do these young guys go out of their way to look old.

Your only young once.

Blue

Edited by blue
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Twigman Proficient

Twigman

Posted
Posted (edited)

[quote name='CamdenRob' timestamp='1456492437' post='2989577']
I don't want a funeral... I want to be fly tipped in a hedge down the side of the M6... :mellow:
[/quote]

I want to be pickled in a jar of formaldehyde and stood in the corner, surveying my universe.

Edited by Twigman
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