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mingsta

Anyone in a band with NO interpersonal issues???

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I have recently gone from acoustic trio to acoustic duo, and while it was a mixture of things that caused the split, the singer and I are getting on great, we focus on the music, what works well for us, what sounds good with us doing it and what goes down well with audiences- it seems to work really well.

I think in this case, the interpersonal relationship that could be the most difficult here is that of keeping various partners onside, both the female singer and I are happily married, but both of us are conscious that disappearing off to gigs and rehearsals as well as maintaining private facebook groups together, is a situation where you need to be very aware of handling things sensitively, and professionally. For this reason we probably include our partners a lot more now than we did when we were a trio.

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My regular band has had the same lineup for about 2 years. No issues; we're a bunch of pricks and we don't carry egos. At all. We constantly 'poke fun' at each other on a Facebook page.

The only thing we take seriously is the music.

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[quote name='the boy' timestamp='1446226429' post='2897958']
No issues in MY band. everybody does what they're told, or else.
[/quote]

This ^ :P

I've got minor issues with people not putting the effort into learning their parts, but I'm as guilty as the rest on that one!

My biggest gripe is getting a text or a phone call just before rehearsal saying someone can't make it for a reason that can't have been a surprise, but if that's my biggest problem I can't be doing too badly :)

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I play in a tribute band so there is no moaning regarding the music we play and that can be a major reason for bust ups as I have found in the past.

We have been together since March and seem to get along ok but none of us are friends outside the band which helps. And we all love the music, especially the drummer as he lives miles away but is happy to travel to play with us.

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[quote name='taunton-hobbit' timestamp='1446229168' post='2898000']
I ran sound system shows for years, and always had '2nd jocks' to work with.
I never saw any of them away from gig related stuff - it worked fine.
Work is work...home is home...

:)
[/quote]

My story is the same.

I only see my band mates at gigs.Our operation is more or less on automatic pilot. So there's very little if any phone calls, texting or email.

Blue

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I joined the band just before last Christmas and our drummer joined soon afterwards. We've not had a cross word yet. It's almost more of a group of five mates who occasionally play music. Musically, everyone's ideas are valid and no one gets the hump when an idea is bad. We socialise a lot and the banter is bordering on offensive however, we all have a similar sense of humour, nobody takes anything to heart. This really comes across in our stageshow. We've had lots of comments on how we're all having a great time on stage, which we are.

I think a lot of it comes from the fact that we're all in our 40s and, like many of you, have had those silly experiences with fragile egos. We just want to play rock music and put on a great show.

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Am so fortunate with my band. All great people, and amazingly for an 8 piece outfit we all get on fine.
Any problems are dealt with in a businesslike and adult manner, so every gig it is possible just to
concentrate on putting on the best performance we can.
Even our sound / light crew are fantastic team players too, who I enjoy being around.
Sickening eh?.....

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No interpersonal issues in our band now. Three was never direct conflict in the past anyway but the old drummer was getting frustrated with the old guitarist. There would definitely be problems if I had issues with the singer as I'm married to her.

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I was in a band that was the most fun I have ever had. We'd got rid of the guitarist with a huge ego who didn't seem to want to be in a band, he just wanted somewhere to widdle loudly once a week. We got rid of the talentless singer. A guitarist I had played with before who was mega talented and a proper lovely bloke just joined. The other guitarist and the drummer were also very talented and some of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet. I absolutely loved every minute of it from then on... Then I left. I had a massive upheaval in my life (that I won't bring up here) and had to move to another town. Since everyone always contacted me I had no way to contact them, I had no phone numbers and didn't know where they lived (one of them always picked me up from my house), and the last I had heard was that we had changed rehearsal spaces, so I couldn't even find them that way. I still miss it every day, and it was over twenty years ago now.

About a year later I bumped into their new bass player, who also sang. He was another really lovely lad who I knew from school (he actually got into music and bass playing because of me). He said that the band talked about me and how well I fitted in (I shan't brag about the other stuff he said) and offered to stop playing bass and just sing. I didn't like the idea of usurping him like that and I felt guilty for leaving, so nothing ever came of it. Never found anything like it since and it's probably never will now.

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The main problem in our soul band was the brass section if we take the drummer as a given. They would turn up at the last minute, expect everything set up for them, and then dissapear without helping to break down and load the gear. They were great musicians but full of it too. This is why the band leader left it far too long before starting to do something about it. With the rhythm section all in their 60s it all got too much in the end and I left and our singer/keyboard player was not far behind.

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I'm actually in 2 bands with no interpersonal issues!!!
It's true!!

Admittedly, we had severe issues with our (reformed character) drummer in band #1 but everything's sweet now.

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[quote name='mingsta' timestamp='1446216168' post='2897821']
While there are plenty of entertaining posts from people in bands with various personnel/politics/money disagreements, I was wondering is anyone in a band with NO issues and if so, what do you think are the reasons that it just works for you guys?
[/quote]

We are a working 70 style Rock & Blues band. The band has been in existence for 10 years, I have been with them for the past 4.5 years.

The band is a business, a fun business but still a business. As member we are not friends, and there is no hang. We only see each other at gigs and the rare rehearsal. We have no issues because were not friends and the band is a business not a social outlet.

Blue

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[quote name='casapete' timestamp='1446381773' post='2898884']
Am so fortunate with my band. All great people, and amazingly for an 8 piece outfit we all get on fine.
Any problems are dealt with in a businesslike and adult manner, so every gig it is possible just to
concentrate on putting on the best performance we can.
Even our sound / light crew are fantastic team players too, who I enjoy being around.
Sickening eh?.....
[/quote]


Cool, I always say when you're in a working band the business approach always deters silly interpersonal issues.

I think a lot of guys think when you treat a band as a business it's no fun, That couldn't be any further from the truth. Playing rock n roll is always going to fun regardless.

Blue

Edited by blue

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[quote name='CamdenRob' timestamp='1446217603' post='2897850']
I wouldn't bother playing in any project that didn't suit me musically or contained anyone with half the attitude some on BC describe their bandmates as having... Then again I am not playing bass for my living... If I was I'd put up and shut up and get on with whatever gave me the most money regardless of the other guys in the band.[/quote]


That would be me, playing for a living. I could care less creativity, because all of us should be able to be creative with what we play in songs it's a given.

The ability to put on the best bar show possible and weak bookings are the only things I'm really concerned with.

Blue

Edited by blue

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9 years in the same main band and 4 of us (out of 5) have been in it since the inception. Very business-like operation as none of us see each other socially. We've learned how each other operates - we all communicate. Flushed out all the potential hurdles early - money, # of gigs per week, rehearsals etc. Nothing is left to fester and any issues are dealt with in the open.

There are no egos in this band which has been like a revelation. Already booked up for next year when we'll be celebrating 10 years together! Can't quite believe it.

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My band exists purely for fun (ie it's not any of our main incomes) and we all get on great. We regularly socialise and drink together; we even went out for a big Xmas curry, with our partners. If any of us didn't get on the band wouldn't exist. Maybe it'd be different if we were earning proper money (ie more pressure)? I don't know. All I know is I can't imagine making music with someone I had issues with.

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Both the bands I play in qualify. As to why, not sure really we are all older and wiser and more tollerant I guess. The average age of one band is c.60 and the other c.40 I guess.

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we had one major blow up in June/July 2014 - I left, my replacement left them in the brown stuff in September 2014 with imminent gigs so I got invited back as a short term stand in and the four of us have never had a cross word between us since! We all chip in carrying and setting up gear, give each other enough stage and sonic space. It helps that we're all a bit older (I'm the youngest at 49) and there truly are no prima donnas in the band.

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Ive played with many bands over the years, and agree with most of the posts here....
The clear distinction between what we do is
A ) is it for fun
B ) is it at a professional level ( ie for a wage related pay packet)

catagory B is easy and presents little in the way of personal issues as its a job. You learn your skill, turn up on time, take it seriously and most importantly respect the fact that what you do is play a part in a team ..... Not show case your own ego, not show case you speed, tech, gear, thunder thumb etc etc..... You fit in, where you belong and you do what the music requires, no more, no less. Be friendly, help others, consider others parts......... Do this and you (or your band) will be hired again. If all involved follow this mantra it should all go well.

Catagory A is harder... Here, fun is the driver (which is great of course) but This is all too easy for all involved to work as a group of individuals, their part being the most important to them, preceeding the music. This only serves to feed frustration of all involved. Volume, sound, restraint (or lack of it) all these things regulary running a mock. I think restraint is the key here and the difference, letting loose is great in the right place but not the whole song or even worse the whole gig!
Dont get me wrong, im quite sure many bands who play for kicks do it very well, and are not all happless ego maniacs, but my point is that a certain mentality is required in the approach to what you are doing is required and mire importantly, this MUST be understood by all involved. Thats not easy and takes the finding and pulling together of experienced people....When it is, its likley your fun days of playing will evolve into a more structured, productive "business like" approach..... Promotion to catagory A ;)

All that said, playing music should be fun and enjoyable, if its not, your doing it wrong :)
Playing is no longer my main income and as such i wouldnt care much if i didnt get paid any more than covering my expenses, but if the rest of the band were not professional in attitude, well .... Id be loading up and heading home :)


Wonky

Edited by Wonky2

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