Guest Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 [quote name='jonnythenotes' timestamp='1422903169' post='2678177'] Recently pla [/quote] I think I also might have pla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcnach Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 [quote name='thumbo' timestamp='1422992210' post='2679287'] Are you taking requests? No. Can you play Hotel California? [/quote] Maybe he was asking whether "Taking Requests" was the name of the band... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcnach Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 [quote name='LayDownThaFunk' timestamp='1422993432' post='2679310'] "Good evening, we are a Jimi Hendrix tribute band." "Stairway!" [/quote] "Freebird!" No? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonzodog Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Back in my solo singing days I used to pride myself in always wearing a smart Buble inspired 3 piece suit. At one gig in a grotty pub i am sitting at bar waiting to go on and a couple walk in. The guy immediately asks me if I do any Neil Diamond. His wife straight away asks him how he knew I was the singer. His reply was "If he was a customer he wouldn't be dressed like a dickhead" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roland Rock Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 (edited) I once played a didgeridoo set at a pub in York on Australia Day. As I was getting a drink after the set, a lady asked whether my circular breathing technique could be employed in a bedroom context! Edited February 4, 2015 by Roland Rock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fozza Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 [quote name='Roland Rock' timestamp='1423043437' post='2679824'] I once played a didgeridoo set at a pub in York on Australia Day. As I was getting a drink after the set, a lady asked whether my circular breathing technique could be employed in a bedroom context! [/quote] Can it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubit Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 [quote name='Roland Rock' timestamp='1423043437' post='2679824'] I once played a didgeridoo set at a pub in York on Australia Day. As I was getting a drink after the set, a lady asked whether my circular breathing technique could be employed in a bedroom context! [/quote] I once asked the wife what was her biggest fantasy and she said it begins with d, ends in o and it fits down here. I exclaimed where the hell am I gonna get a didgeridoo. Now I know ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameronj279 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 [quote name='Roland Rock' timestamp='1423043437' post='2679824'] I once played a didgeridoo set at a pub in York on Australia Day. As I was getting a drink after the set, a lady asked whether my circular breathing technique could be employed in a bedroom context! [/quote] ...well...don't leave us hanging here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameronj279 Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 (edited) really need to stop posting from my phone as it seems to post everything twice. Edited February 4, 2015 by Cameronj279 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roland Rock Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 [quote name='Fozza' timestamp='1423047036' post='2679892'] Can it? [/quote] Not unless you want to inflate your partner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roland Rock Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 (edited) [quote name='Cameronj279' timestamp='1423047157' post='2679896'] ...well...don't leave us hanging here? [/quote] I'd like to say that I retorted with a suave witty innuendo of my own. In reality, the combination of being a bit taken aback (I very rarely get propositioned) and the fact that I had a girlfriend (who was at a table waiting for her pint) meant I just blushed, mumbled and left Edited February 4, 2015 by Roland Rock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingBollock Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 [quote name='ubit' timestamp='1423047073' post='2679893'] I once asked the wife what was her biggest fantasy and she said it begins with d, ends in o and it fits down here. I exclaimed where the hell am I gonna get a didgeridoo. Now I know ! [/quote] I've got a Didgeridoo, but it's got a split in it, rather than the other way around. [size=2](Actually true)[/size] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bikenbass Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 [quote name='KingBollock' timestamp='1423049170' post='2679923'] I've got a Didgeridoo, but it's got a split in it, rather than the other way around. [size=2](Actually true)[/size] [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Badderer Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 [quote] [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Not unless you want to inflate your partner [/font][/color] [/quote] Properly LOL'd!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Maybe not funny ha ha but certainly funny weird. "I'm a lesbian and I have cancer. Can I sing a song?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyDog Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 [quote name='Roland Rock' timestamp='1423043437' post='2679824'] I once played a didgeridoo set at a pub in York on Australia Day. As I was getting a drink after the set, a lady asked whether my circular breathing technique could be employed in a bedroom context! [/quote] I can just imagine a didgeridoo set... "Thank you very much, that was an original tune called 'Ooma-ooma-oomoomooma-oom'. Ok, i'd like to slow it down a bit now, here's one you might recognise, it's called 'Ooma-ooma-oomoomooma-oom'... Two three four..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Admiral Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 An acquaintance (aged 25) who plays in a soul destroying but well paid function band was propositioned at a local Wedding by a drunk, but very attractive, if slightly brassy, middle aged blonde in a mini dress. Her question, whispered in his ear mid song was "We need to talk. - I need to know exactly how you are going to f*** me later when I take you home". I should point out that he's a nice lad, but not much of a ladies Man and has been married since he was 19. She wouldn't give it up apparently, spending most of the night on the dance floor winking at him and x rated twerking inappropriately (both from a decorum and rythmic point of view) to a selection of soul and wedding classics. In the end, he decided to play along, loaded the gear and told her he had to take a leak before they went back to hers, and promptly climbed out of the window of the gents, to be met by the rest of the band, in the van, with the engine running. As they sped round past the front of the venue, she apparently came out of the front door to light a fag, spotted the van and her new boyfriend going past and started chasing them down the road as best she could in stripper heels, screaming what a c*** he was. Classy girl clearly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadofsix Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Good for him! Staying true to his mate and probably avoided himself a good case of "clap" or some other nasty little STD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norris Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 In the mid eighties I was doing a summer season at Butlin's in the concert room six nights a week. We had the parents + kids crowd and played most stuff in the hit parade of the day. We got a lot of written requests, often from younger kids but also from adults that couldn't spell. Some were hilarious and the guitarist kept a lot of the best ones. My favourite was for the Eurythmics classic "A Mulititud of Angles" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DogHammer Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Gig on the weekend, another bass player said to me: "Am I plugging into that Orange, yeah?" "No mate. I'm sure the soundman has a DI Box." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcnach Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 [quote name='DogHammer' timestamp='1423477839' post='2685122'] Gig on the weekend, another bass player said to me: "Am I plugging into that Orange, yeah?" "No mate. I'm sure the soundman has a DI Box." [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LayDownThaFunk Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 [quote name='DogHammer' timestamp='1423477839' post='2685122'] Gig on the weekend, another bass player said to me: "Am I plugging into that Orange, yeah?" "No mate. I'm sure the soundman has a DI Box." [/quote] Nice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seymourfluid Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 We played a lovely restaurant/gig called the Crooked Billet in Stoke Row nr Henley-on-Thames. It’s just money around there. The restaurant is wonderful and people like George Harrison and Gary Moore would turn up to eat and end up playing. They lived close. We had waited for the afternoon service to finish and were loading in. This lovely but old woman walked up to us and asked politely if we were playing that evening as she may come along. I and the guitarist explained that we were but it would be a bit loud. She just seemed to smile at us. We finished our chat with her and as she left the owner came over with a large smile on his face having overheard the conversation. “You don’t know who you’ve just been talking to, do you?” he said. “No.” …………we said. “That’s Jimmy Pages mum”…………he said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceChick Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Cool story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 [quote name='SpaceChick' timestamp='1423639569' post='2687226'] Cool story [/quote] +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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