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When do I call it quits?


Weststarx
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Do what I did last month. Get a band meeting & be honest.
Tell them it's not what you want to do anymore & offer to advertise for a replacement bassist on here.
Let them know that you think they're great guys too.
Another thing is, if you're getting on well with one of them, see if he wants to start a side project & take things from there.

Since I left my old band (that I started) I've had 2 bands get in touch before I've even advertised!

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[quote name='Weststarx' timestamp='1396392227' post='2413182']
Do I leave for musical reasons and risk losing some good friends?
Or put up with it?
[/quote]

Personally, I'd call it a day, but I have a high reliance on performing.

There is another option though, why not try and find some middle ground?

Start looking around for another band that does gig and move the first band into 'meeting up with mates to play some stuff' status.

After all, if your existing band doesn't gig then there's little chance of a diary clash. :)

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Take a lead.....set some musical targets and target dates for some gigs with the proviso that if the rest of the band aren't going to try and attain those targets that you want out.....at least then you can get an indicator from the others whether they're really interested.

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Why do songs get thrown out that have been perfected ? Is this a group decision?
If you have enough songs to do a few gigs then get some booked in, nothing like a bit of pressure to get people to pull their finger out!
A band meeting with no instruments is a must, sooner rather than later!

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Last November I called a band meeting & said to my band that we're setting a date to get gigs. We set the end of January, it came & passed so that's why I called my band meeting & let them know that I wasn't happy. I then met up & let them know that as much fun as it can be, we had musical differences & rock covers was not what I wanted to do.

If you're not happy with the music, call it. Don't sit unhappy.

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There are many people who are in bands because they like the idea of being in a band.

They're quite happy just to meet on a weekly basis to play tunes just for the hang.

If they wanted to gig they would have done by now.

Ask them how often they want to gig. Ask them for free dates on their diary as you want to start gigging in 6 weeks time.

My guess is they'll either want to gig less than once a month or not be able to find any free dates in their diary.

Eventually you'll recognise these type of bands when you first audition...

Edited by TimR
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I've only spent this amount of time in a band without gigging once and that was because it was my first proper auditioned project, partly i didn't know better and partly it took a few months to just get up to speed with the rest of them who were seasoned players.
Eventually after several months we got a gig at which point the main guy in the band declared he didn't really like performing live any more and we all went our separate ways after that one gig. Never again.
As said before when you've been around a bit you can spot these 'hobby bands' a mile off and if gigging is the main thrust of your interest then avoid them. OP's band is sounding suspiciously like one of these. If you like them socially and can fit another gigging band in on top then that is an option but it will take a lot of your time up, if you want to get out there and perform and they are not into that then hand your notice in asap, it'll only get more frustrating.

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I'd call the meeting and tell them that you're going to follow icastle's suggestion above. Win-win.

You might also find out how good they are as friends.

I had a similar experience, paying for rehearsal space, rehearsing for a single gig which was way off and absolutely no organisation regarding what songs etc. Each rehearsal started with a look at the set list, as if it was something new, and deciding 'let's just go through the songs'. No progress, never would be, I was out after 3. Keyboard player was great though!

I call them 'Bingo' bands. You can't practice for Bingo, just turn up, no preparation between events necessary.

Edited by 4 Strings
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[quote name='Weststarx' timestamp='1396434767' post='2413455']
We basically had a band meeting after we had almost a full set of songs and ready gig with. The meeting turned into a few guys saying that they wernt really liking a few of the songs. I was cast out by a majority vote of throwing out half an hours worth of songs - just because some songs were 'boring' to play for certain people. [/quote]

As you say, you always end up playing stuff you aren't that keen on. I'd happily dump a third of my current set list but the rest of them wouldn't know enough extra material to fill the rest of the gig anyway! Summarily deciding to throw out about a third of your full set just sounds like people getting twitchy about the prospect of actual live performing and putting it off by backtracking you to an earlier stage in the band's progress whne you were 'getting the set together'. This can just end up being repeated so that 'the gig' never materialises. Get out and gig with what you have (assuming it is enough to cover 2x45min sets) [i]then [/i]start looking at alternative songs to replace the ones you aren't that keen on.

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The other thing of course is that they might actually be frightened of gigging - it takes a fair bit of courage to stand there in front of an audience for the very first time.

I stood behind a brick pillar on my first gig - all the audience could see was my right elbow and bass headstock. :D
Many people say that I should readopt that performance method... <_<

Perhaps persuade them to go to a plug and play night somewhere and just do two or three songs?

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The point of a covers band is to gig, therefore the point of your set list is to appeal to the audience you want to play to. It's kind of immaterial whether band members find certain songs "boring"! You need a band meeting to clarify what the point of the band is for the other guys, while making it absolutely clear what you want from it. If you can reach a concensus which involves gigging, I suggest you go & book a date or two yourself to force the issue.

If it turns out that some or all of the other members aren't interested in getting out of the practice room then it's either a matter of biting the bullet & looking for something else, or replacing the guys who don't want to gig.

Do you have time for more than one band? You could continue with this for the social aspect and find a second band to do a bit of actual work with!

Jon.

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I was in the same situation with my band a few years ago. I tried not organizing a rehearsal for 3 months and nobody else did either! I was ready to knock it on the head but we had a wedding gig booked (the only one that year). We did the gig, it was great, we were all friends from uni to so I didn't want to leave. So I decided to carry on. We had a meeting We assigned roles to people - booking rehearsals - doing chord charts - getting gigs etc. I also declared myself the boss as I felt the band wouldn't go anywhere without somebody driving it.

That year we had a shoot, did some recording, got a website. Now we do 20+ gigs a year. If you like the guys (that's half the battle) have a proper talk/meeting (outside the rehearsal room) make a list of goals and put a plan together to achieve them.

Book a gig in and book some studio time. Put together a set list for that first gig and work towards it. If they can't/won't do it knock it on the head. We had 3 different drummers and guitarists before we settled into this line-up.

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[quote name='TimR' timestamp='1396435391' post='2413469']
Every song will get boring when you've been playing it for 10months without a gig. :D
[/quote]

Indeed it bloody does!

I should start throwing in some ZZ Top dance moves to trying brighten things up for myself...

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[quote name='icastle' timestamp='1396435915' post='2413480']
The other thing of course is that they might actually be frightened of gigging - it takes a fair bit of courage to stand there in front of an audience for the very first time.

I stood behind a brick pillar on my first gig - all the audience could see was my right elbow and bass headstock. :D
Many people say that I should readopt that performance method... <_<

Perhaps persuade them to go to a plug and play night somewhere and just do two or three songs?
[/quote]

Like it, the first gig I played was stood directly behind a PA speaker. I can imagine I would of looked like I had a speaker for a head


I've suggested open mic nights, but I get the 'oh well I'd rather use my guitar rig' excuse. I've been offered a little half hour support slot which is again met with the same excuse.

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You can't chuck songs cos they are boring! I agree it's poor playing easy basslines after a while, but you simply have to, if you are a pub covers band, play what the public wants to hear.
We have been playing for years and always like to throw in interesting songs that we like but always end up going back to the dreaded brown eyed girl and Galway girl. I hate these songs but the trouble is, the drunken masses like them because they know them. Tell your band that if they want gigs, they are gonna have to make sacrifices in their musical integrity to a large extent.
Maybe once they have faced up to this, they might get stuck in and learn enough for a set. Once you have a name for yourselves, you can drop in the odd "good tune" Good luck man !

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[quote name='Weststarx' timestamp='1396450400' post='2413812']
I've suggested open mic nights, but I get the 'oh well I'd rather use my guitar rig' excuse. I've been offered a little half hour support slot which is again met with the same excuse.
[/quote]

I always use my own gear if I'm playing at an open mic night.

It's never a problem, I just get there early and get myself setup so as not to cause any disruption. :)

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