Depressing things your bandmates say.

[mrdreadful]

[quote name='silddx' timestamp='1323950190' post='1468986']
He wasn't mocking, he was straight up.
[/quote]

Fair dos. He was straight up with the guy on the day, and that's what counts I guess.

[BottomE]

[quote name='silddx' timestamp='1323949196' post='1468966']
Bad day, mr dread?

There are many very naive people about who make assumptions without checking the details. IMO, [b]only a fool would tell their wife they are getting loads of cash[/b] to spend from record company advance before knowing the facts. An advance is basically a loan, an investment. It's not for a f***ing kitchen
[/quote]
I have highlighted the most accurate and perceptive comment that i have seen on Basschat for some time...

[ras52]

[quote name='mrdreadful' timestamp='1323950200' post='1468987']
And actually relevant to the thread:
"I don't need to EQ my amp, my giant digital effects board will sort all that out for me" (paraphrased from a guitarist I jammed with).
[/quote]
Translation: there's point in EQ-ing my amp, because once the signal's gone through my giant digital effects board it'll be f***ed up beyond repair.

[Guest Daniel Bird]

Guitarist "Why should I turn down? I'm the most important part of the band"

Said many moons ago when we were all youngsters.

[jackers]

wow, after reading this I feel genuinely privileged to have not been in bands with anyone who has come out with this utter rubbish

The worst I've ever had is a drummer explaining why he didn't learn a cover:

"well, I don't really like that band anyway, so I didn't bother."

[algmusic]

[quote name='jackers' timestamp='1323952510' post='1469044']
wow, after reading this I feel genuinely privileged to have not been in bands with anyone who has come out with this utter rubbish

The worst I've ever had is a drummer explaining why he didn't learn a cover:

"well, I don't really like that band anyway, so I didn't bother."
[/quote]

i'm glad to say i currently don't deal with that any more, and I won't unless I'm getting paid.. but you gotta admit, if they didn't have at some point we would have this funny thread or stories to tell at the pub and elsewhere :-)

[mrdreadful]

[quote name='ras52' timestamp='1323952010' post='1469033']
Translation: there's point in EQ-ing my amp, because once the signal's gone through my giant digital effects board it'll be f***ed up beyond repair.
[/quote]

I tell you what... I regretted forgetting my earplugs that day, a guitarist who likes to do pinch harmonics with an EQ that's only a few notches away from ultra sonic...

[discreet]

After spending the best part of an afternoon learning the bassline to 'Merry Xmas Everybody,' I discover at rehearsal that the band have never played the track before and the drummer has 'never heard it! It'll probably be OK though, it's only a Christmas song'. This with a gig the following night. Why?? WHY??

[daz]

[quote name='mrdreadful' timestamp='1323949944' post='1468981']
Well yes, better to ask a question and be a fool for a minute than not ask and be a fool for a lifetime and all that.

Not really a bad day, I just believe that education need not come with a side order of mockery.
[/quote]

Just watch the [size=5][color=#b22222]Bad News[/color][/size] episode of [i]Comic Strip Presents[/i]

[Stratosphere]

I love this thread, keep going please!

Ed ([b][color=#FF0000][size=4]L[/size][/color][/b]earner)

[LeftyBiskit]

[b]Heard this on more than one occasion from our singist-[/b]
[b]I need to cancel the next gig at ...... ....... as I'm going out with gf as it's her b.day(cue inward sinking feeling)[/b]
[b]or no we cant do that gig as we have one on the day before-(ffs its why we do this stuff to play live,not to just rehearse).[/b]

[flyfisher]

The (recently married) guitarist in one of my bands cried off from rehearsal this week because he's going away on holiday on Friday so can't spare the time on Thursday evening.

I replied saying that he clearly hasn't got the hang of marriage yet because that sounded like an ideal reason to get out of the house while his wife does all the packing.

There has been no reply . . . . .

[JellyKnees]

A frequent occurance at rehearsals...

Me - 'Shall we play song xyz?'

Guitarist (who has been playing with us for 2 and 1/2 years now and has played said song [i]hundreds[/i] of times) - blank look, mental cogs whirring, I [i]know[/i] he doesn't know what song I'm talking about...

Me - 'This one...' play a few bars of the bassline, look of exasperation passes between me and singer/pianist....we only have about 20 songs in total ffs!

Guitarist - 'Oh right, yeah'

Actually he's a nice bloke and good guitarist, and he always seems to get it right for gigs....it still drives me nuts sometimes though...

[NancyJohnson]

[quote name='NancyJohnson' timestamp='1318192202' post='1399111']
One time the drummer asked, 'Can I bring in my keyboard, I got it after our last jam?'

I think I'd still be playing with him if he'd left it in the car.
P
[/quote]

Once in a while, old threads shuffle to the top of my 'My content' area and I saw this thread and found my comment above. Over a year later, the keyboard thing above came up again in conversation just a couple of days ago. I still shake my head and wonder where my drummer's head was at when he bought that keyboard in. I have to say I was pissing myself inside when he actually started playing it.
P

[4 Strings]

Arriving at gigs I almost always receive the following calls:

> Keyboard player, 5 mins before we're due to arrive; 'Hi, I'm here' - which means where are you, you're late.
> Guitarist 'Hi, I'm here' - which means what do I do now?

and, the bit that fits in this thread,
> Drummer; 'Hello Sir, how are you?' - which means I'm still 3/4 of an hour away and probably heading the wrong way.

[paul_5]

"have you got a spare..." insert the usual suspects here - lead / strap / amp / pick / kettle lead / cockwang.

Winds me up no end. Grrrr

also: "this is suchabody, she's my new girlfriend. I said she could come to rehearsal with me"

Translation: "Despite being completely egocentric, feckless, ugly and wretched I've finally found somebody who's interested in me as much as I am. For the duration of the practice I'm going to be looking at her and pouting instead of concentrating so that you all know I recently got laid - this will entirely invalidate the whole session and be a waste of everybody's time so why don't we all go home and I can bump uglies again. Until she finds out what I'm really like and dumps me."

Oooh, we do like to moan don't we?

Edited December 17, 2011 by paul_5

[spike]

Even worse is "this is my new girlfriend, I think she'd make a great backing singer"

[solo4652]

The band's been struggling with a song. Realising I was playing the introduction wrong, I changed what I was doing and sent it to the band leader/rhthym guitarist/lead singer (he's a full-time music teacher) to short-cut any further wasted time at the next rehearsal. I then re-worked and simplified the fingering and sent him the amended version. His reply:


[color=#0000CD]Those are the same notes but on a different string. So... yeah, it's the same. I'm going to send you a bass fret board template. I think you should label the notes and start thinking about the fretboard in simpler terms. The fifth fret of every string is the same as the string below played open. So instead of playing 5 play 0 on the next string so you needn't use your pinky so much. [/color]
[color=#0000CD][/color]

[paul torch]

[quote name='solo4652' timestamp='1324118337' post='1470923']
The band's been struggling with a song. Realising I was playing the introduction wrong, I changed what I was doing and sent it to the band leader/rhthym guitarist/lead singer (he's a full-time music teacher) to short-cut any further wasted time at the next rehearsal. I then re-worked and simplified the fingering and sent him the amended version. His reply:


[color=#0000CD]Those are the same notes but on a different string. So... yeah, it's the same. I'm going to send you a bass fret board template. I think you should label the notes and start thinking about the fretboard in simpler terms. The fifth fret of every string is the same as the string below played open. So instead of playing 5 play 0 on the next string so you needn't use your pinky so much. [/color]

[/quote]

thanks for that mate, you're a great help

[WHUFC BASS]

"I think I've upset a few people in the audience so we might have to fight our way out of here later"....

Happened to us on more than one occasion.

[smurfitt]

These really have been said by people I've been in bands with:

(Told to the band on the night of rehearsal)
1) My pc broke 3 weeks ago so I didn't have the tracks to be able to learn the songs.

Drummer at a Sunday gig:
2) Why does this venue have to have the gig at 6pm. My roast dinner is always at 5pm so I don't get time to eat it before the gig and it's cold when I get home.
(er....microwave??)

[u]Guitarist:[/u]
3) I lost your email but if you had reminded me this wouldn't have happened.
[i](ah...so, it's my fault! Tell me when you're going for a cr*p and I'll come wipe your arse for you too)[/i]

[u]Drummer's response to a song with guitar intro. [/u]
4) I've played this with another band and always come in on the beat).
[i](Bass & guitarist's reply: Er...guitarist starts the song so how the hell can he be on the offbeat?)[/i]

[u]Guitarist's response to a query as to whether the drummer (his best mate) is playing too many bars:.[/u]
5) I don't play on that part, so I wouldn't know.
[i](How stupid of me to ask. Of course you don't want to upset little friendy poos. Maybe he can pick those splinters out of your bum that you get from sitting on the fence so often).[/i]

5)The wife wont let me
[i]Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, pmsl, red dot on forehead, lol, rofl, lmao.[/i]

[BILL POSTERS]

" I dont know if we should play that pub, according to my accountant its a bit rough"

[Jayben]

With reference to the conversation a few pages ago about people making the time to learn new tunes for next r/h... If a band member says they'll learn 3 new tunes, then they should learn those 3 tunes, regardless of the circumstances (within reason, naturally). So what if you get in from work at 7/8 at night? Put the time in and make the effort - If you don't, why should anyone else?

True story from Friday's gig... We lent a Marshall combo out to the headliner's guitarist, who has a Line6 half stack (which had been smashed by the main support band), and appropriate pedal board etc. This conversation ensued between our drummer and their guitarist:

G: Ahhh, you've got Marshall..
D: Why, what's wrong with it? You know it works fine..
G: Yeah, but it's not Line6.
D: So?
G: Well I've got this footswitch that only works with Line6 amps, it tells the amp what to do
D: Yeah but you've got the rest of your pedalboard there?
G: Nahh mate, it won't work, my footswitch won't tell the Marshall what to do, 'cos it's not Line6
D: Ok, whatever. You can either do the show with the Marshall and have a few less effects and what have you, or you can cancel your show.
G: F*ck it, we'll go home. Best ring all our fans and tell them to not bother coming now.


These jokers bailed on a show because they couldn't have one or two FX, and let down the venue and most of their fans.. >< I'm just glad that not too many other bands do the same!

Edited January 22, 2012 by Jayben

[barneyg42]

[quote name='spike' timestamp='1324117188' post='1470911']
Even worse is "this is my new girlfriend, I think she'd make a great MANAGER"
[/quote]
Fixed!

[discreet]

[quote name='Jayben' timestamp='1327249149' post='1508307']
These jokers bailed on a show because they couldn't have one or two FX and let down the venue and most of their fans.
[/quote]

Jesus Christ! It beggars belief, doesn't it? What happened to 'the show must go on'?
Bunch of farking corksucking iceholes!